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AIBU?

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Original poster

Day out friends..they left to go to diff restaurant on their own

1000 replies

TFICoffeetime · 31/08/2025 11:02

Met up with close friends yesterday. We live opposite sides country. We picked scenic village, countryside & meal at a nice country inn.
We were 40 mins late (it's 2.5 hrs for us) 1 hour drive for us & got caught in traffic then stopped once to let DD go to the toilet & stretched dogs legs so she'd wee. All communicated with friends. We arrived, had lovely stroll, river swim and meal at nice country inn with great views. They had booked the meal...we thought lovely place. But when we got there they said they had to leave at 5.30 to go to another restaurant (just them and child). They are starters and went. They said they hadn't realised this place was a fave restaurant & was close to their home. (So why go today). So we were left. It felt v awkward & like punishment for being late maybe. It had been lovely day and ended on weird vibes.
We finished our meal on own then went to another beautiful inn for pudding. After this I feel perplexed. AIBU to think their actions rude & far ruder than been late. We weren't intentionally late & just how it goes with traffic & teenagers.
I don't understand why we couldn't enjoy the meal together as planned. They booked it on the day (it felt like because we were late). We avoided confrontation but left sour note. Our children were perplexed. Just odd & awkward. This friend doesn't like confrontation even if it's "we were a bit sad you changed to go elsewhere" so she wouldn't discuss if I did. But I'm left feeling am I wrong. I just can't see myself having issues if they had longer to drive and was late & I would not change plans on a meal that was meant to be spent together. Xxx

OP posts:
Original poster
TFICoffeetime · 31/08/2025 11:39

Blondebrownorred · 31/08/2025 11:08

Im confused by the times. You say it was 2.5 hours then you also say it was 1 hour drive

I mistyped it was 1 HR for them. X

OP posts:
calmingpompoms · 31/08/2025 11:40

Can you post a list of the timings please…when you left your house, when you were supposed to arrive, when you actually arrived, how long you stayed together as a group of friends, what time they left?

Also have you had contact since? Like a text to say thanks for a lovely day, it was great seeing you?

Also how were they all when you arrived? Did you sense tension from anyone?

Are you always late?

Lots of questions sorry but this whole scenario is odd. Their behaviour seems crazy.

GardenGaff · 31/08/2025 11:40

If your communication with these friend is as confusing as your posts are on this thread, then I’d say it’s a huge case of crossed wires. Because you’re making very little sense.

Hoistupthemainsail · 31/08/2025 11:40

This makes no sense to me - you say you spent the day together and had an evening meal booked but then you say you had a sandwich lunch en route and had later afternoon meal? It all sounds a bit odd. Maybe you said something during the starters they took offense to? Maybe they were always going to leave at a certain time but as you were very late it meant they left after the starters?

HideousKinky · 31/08/2025 11:41

Why would you arrange to travel two & a half hours to have lunch with someone when you have a child who is well known to suffer from travel sickness??

Poor kid - that's a round trip of 5 hours!

Freeme31 · 31/08/2025 11:42

I am still confused over times. Can hou put down (ie met at 3 was ment to be 2 ) ate at 5 , they left at 6 etc. as your post isn’t clear so can’t decide if they were rude or not

GAJLY · 31/08/2025 11:42

Yes that was a bit odd of them, and I'd think it a bit rude. Perhaps because you were late, they ate somewhere and weren't hungry for dinner, so had a starter instead. Pushing dinner to a later time. Perhaps this makes more sense?

ARichtGoodDram · 31/08/2025 11:43

Here's hoping the restaurant didn't turn anyone away because if your booking for 7 when none of you bothered to stay for the full booking.

TammyJones · 31/08/2025 11:43

HideousKinky · 31/08/2025 11:41

Why would you arrange to travel two & a half hours to have lunch with someone when you have a child who is well known to suffer from travel sickness??

Poor kid - that's a round trip of 5 hours!

That’s not fair on child

MotherofPufflings · 31/08/2025 11:43

The timings all make sense to me, no idea why others are struggling to understand.

Yes, that was really weird and rude. But it may not have anything to do with you being late, they might just have done something uncharacteristically rude. Or perhaps there's something going on at home or with their kids that you're not aware of.

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 31/08/2025 11:44

It seems more likely you did something to upset them during the starters than they decided to punish you for being late by only having starters.

itsgettingweird · 31/08/2025 11:44

YANBU

you’d planned dinner as a group and it’s rude just to decide to book elsewhere on the day - especially when the other party have travelled a lot further.

not great you were late but shit happens and you kept them informed.

And 40 minutes for a 2.5hr isn’t that bad. Personally if I had 2.5 hrs to travel I’d leave 3 hours to get there but realise not everyone does that!

MaudlinGazebo · 31/08/2025 11:44

Very weird. It’s extremely hard to be on time with such a long drive, there are roadworks everywhere and an accident etc can easily add so much time to the journey. Doesn’t sound like you initially met for a meal or something with a time slot or booking so it didn’t derail anything, if someone is driving hours and hours to meet you then they need a bit of slack on arrival time!
To then stand up and leave half way through dinner hours later is just bloody odd. If they were upset about you being late why was the remedy to leave half way through a meal hours later?
Strange behaviour. I am all for giving my friends the benefit of the doubt but after driving 5 hours to see them for them to leave rudely I would probably sack them off in future. Or say something.
Sorry the day ended like that.

Tartantotty · 31/08/2025 11:45

Basically, whatever the circs, 40 mins late is rude unless you have a really good excuse and it seems you didn't.

I can understand why your friends were hacked off, but need more info as to why they behaved the way they did,

Dippythedino · 31/08/2025 11:45

I get it @TFICoffeetime they were rude for booking another restaurant in the evening without inviting or mentioning it to you. As you both live far away from each other, you were under the impression that you'd spend the day together including meals. So you were perplexed that she made a last minute booking for another venue.

It was unfortunate that you were late but it wasn't a deliberate choice, she however was rude for leaving early & making alternative plans. I wouldn't bother meeting up with her again or if you like her then shoehorn her in between other a activities.

oviraptor21 · 31/08/2025 11:45

Not sure why others are having such difficulty understanding your original post. It was fairly obvious that there was a typo in there.
They were exceptionally rude. If they wanted to go elsewhere the correct thing to do would be to discuss with you and change the booking for all of you.
If the reasons for being 40 minutes late were a traffic delay, and a travel sick DS causing a stop which then means the dog needs to be let out to avoid it getting restless and possibly peeing in the car, then that seems reasonable to me especially as you communicated it. I would probably in future factor that in to the timings so that you are the group that arrives earlier and have to hang around a bit, rather than putting it on the other group.

Original poster
TFICoffeetime · 31/08/2025 11:46

Changingplace · 31/08/2025 11:13

Your post is all mixed up, were you an hour away or 2.5hrs away? 40mins is really late, were you due to have lunch together but because you were so late your lunch was so late it was almost time for their dinner reservation so they had to head off?

No they were an hour away. We were 2.5 hrs
We were not late for lunch. We were late for a meet up in a pretty country village with lots shops ice-cream. The weather was beautiful. Doesn't excuse but they weren't left out in the wild or missing lunch.
We had an evening meal - over 3 hours after we met and they left after starters saying they had changed mind (they picked the original restaurant) & had decided to go somewhere else. It was awkward.

OP posts:
Goonie1 · 31/08/2025 11:46

That’s just odd. They book a meal early evening and then another? Even if you started eating late, surely you wouldn’t book 2 restaurant meals in the evening, you’d be stuffed!
It also sounds like even though you were 40 mins late, there was stuff you did between arriving and the meal, so the meal wasn’t necessarily late as you could’ve skipped an activity or shortened your swim etc to make the meal booking.
Odd.

IDreamOfElectricSheep · 31/08/2025 11:47

It sounds like they just wanted to leave?
Maybe they weren’t enjoying the day and decided to leave to have a relaxing dinner by themselves.
Or maybe they’d had a big lunch while they waited for you and couldn’t eat another big meal or spend the money, so decided to leave after starters.

Bearbookagainandagain · 31/08/2025 11:48

They were very rude, but mostly it's a super weird thing to do in any circumstances!

If they were annoyed about you being late, I would have understood them skipping the dinner altogether for instance, but leaving after the starters is just weird.

kiwiane · 31/08/2025 11:48

You were driving for 5 hours in total and they couldn’t even spend that much time with you! Either one of them doesn’t like you or neither are really your friends. I’d never arrange to meet them again!

Enigma54 · 31/08/2025 11:48

I would put that one down to experience. It all sounds muddled, confusing and strange.

Truetoself · 31/08/2025 11:49

Yes this was very strange and somewhat rude. I think I would have to say something to them. You were probably gobsmacked at the time

minipie · 31/08/2025 11:50

I think the timings are clear

The two families arranged to meet for an afternoon together and early dinner, so plan was to meet at 2 and then dinner was booked for 5.30 (booked by other family)

OP arrives 2.40 having had sandwiches and delays en route. The two families have a walk and swim together as planned albeit with a 40 min later start due to OP delay. Presume other family has had a walk around during the delay.

Other family secretly books alternative dinner sometime during walk and swim.

Then when they all get to booked restaurant, other family declare they are only having starters as they’ve found and booked something else for dinner

Other family eat starters and leave.

All very bizarre IMO

DragonmotherKhaleesi · 31/08/2025 11:51

Why didn’t you ask them what was going on?

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