Day out friends..they left to go to diff restaurant on their own

[TFICoffeetime]

Met up with close friends yesterday. We live opposite sides country. We picked scenic village, countryside & meal at a nice country inn.
We were 40 mins late (it's 2.5 hrs for us) 1 hour drive for us & got caught in traffic then stopped once to let DD go to the toilet & stretched dogs legs so she'd wee. All communicated with friends. We arrived, had lovely stroll, river swim and meal at nice country inn with great views. They had booked the meal...we thought lovely place. But when we got there they said they had to leave at 5.30 to go to another restaurant (just them and child). They are starters and went. They said they hadn't realised this place was a fave restaurant & was close to their home. (So why go today). So we were left. It felt v awkward & like punishment for being late maybe. It had been lovely day and ended on weird vibes.
We finished our meal on own then went to another beautiful inn for pudding. After this I feel perplexed. AIBU to think their actions rude & far ruder than been late. We weren't intentionally late & just how it goes with traffic & teenagers.
I don't understand why we couldn't enjoy the meal together as planned. They booked it on the day (it felt like because we were late). We avoided confrontation but left sour note. Our children were perplexed. Just odd & awkward. This friend doesn't like confrontation even if it's "we were a bit sad you changed to go elsewhere" so she wouldn't discuss if I did. But I'm left feeling am I wrong. I just can't see myself having issues if they had longer to drive and was late & I would not change plans on a meal that was meant to be spent together. Xxx

So they picked and booked the original restaurant and then, during the day while you were with them but out of earshot, they booked a table at another restaurant for their family only and left after eating their starters?

That is really odd and very rude. They were obviously very cross about how late you were but that is simply bizarre behaviour. I think that your friendship is probably over.

We didn't want to sit at a big empty table so went saw some other sights then had dessert elsewhere.

How was it empty if there were only 3 of them?

What exactly is unclear here, though? You would have liked more time with them, they were happy to have less time with you. That’s all, really, isn’t it?

Stugeron for travel sickness, take some 2 hours before travelling.

It's a simple question isn't it and absolutely nothing to do with 'confrontation'.

OP, were they expecting you to bring your dog?

Could that have pissed them off?

This friend doesn't like confrontation even if it's "we were a bit sad you changed to go elsewhere" so she wouldn't discuss if I did.

This is the sort of “friend” you have?

I wonder this too. Maybe it was nothing to do with the late arrival but after 3 or 4 hours together they weren’t enjoying the day or just felt that they’d had enough.

Do the DC all get on? Sometimes when they are little they will happily knock around together with the children of friends but it gets more awkward when they get older, particularly if you don’t see them frequently.

What’s the friendship like in general? Are they friends that you see often or the ‘we met on holiday and keep saying we really must try to get together’ type friends?

I agree that they were rude to make alternative arrangements and leave but maybe the day wasn’t going quite as well as you thought.

So there was no undercurrent of seething resentment while you were pottering round, no whispering or 'looks' between the couple as you all hung out, all perfectly normal? And then they sat and ate starters without a word but then upped and fucked off straight after they'd finished their first course? Super weird!!

What makes you think it was the lateness that annoyed them and not something else? If they were annoyed about the lateness surely that would be obvious when you arrived.

No it s not. People do such journeys all the time and arrive on time. Anyone with any common sense factors in additional time for traffic/wee stops/unexpected poonamis/whatever.

We asked them if they wanted us to bring the dog or leave her at my sister's. They said their daughter wanted her to come.

We picked scenic village, countryside & meal at a nice country inn.
We were 40 mins late (it's 2.5 hrs for us) 1 hour drive for us

Do they always do this? Pick a place that’s so far for you?

This is so weird.

I think it’s clear what happened though, they got a chip on their shoulder waiting for you. During the wait they either a) booked the other restaurant so they had an excuse to leave early, or b) lied about booking the other restaurant as they wanted to go home.

Either way is a off way to treat anyone let alone friends. And the whole eating a starter then bolting, what the absolute!?

They’ve shown their true colours OP, cut this one loose. All the v best with making new (sane) friends

Hmmm I dont think this was because of the lateness. Where was the dog during the meal? Were the kids all getting along? Sounds like they were done with the day but I doubt it was because you were a little late 4 hours earlier.

40 minutes is very late. Not just “teens and traffic.” It’s rudely late.

Yeah, I’m not sure any of you covered yourselves in glory here,

if you’ve a 2.5 hr drive and you know your kid gets sick, you give youself 3 hours. I’m struggling to comprehend you think they should understand your kid gets sick, but you shouldn’t prepare for it. And it doesn’t “seem” like you were late, you were, and it clearly wasn’t communicated properly or they’d have left home earlier, the fact they were already there and waited 40 mins says you didn’t communicate at all correctly.

yes it’s odd they left after starters, and I assume the other restaurant was just an excuse, but for whatever reason they simply didn’t want to stay longer with you all, either simply due to your ill mannered lateness or potentially your behaviour when with them, they were not having as good a time as you all were.

if they are good friends I’d pick up the phone and talk to them, ask if in any way you offended and apologise if so, they will likely say no, it’s fine, but yeah I’m not sure the day for them was as good as you think.

They are the odd ones

Staying for a starter at one restaurant then dashing off to have the rest of your meal at a different place?? Weird.

The original table was booked for 7 people, the friends ate their starter then pissed off leaving op, DH and DS sat at a table for 7.

I know right, how do people cope with travelling for work etc, you have a 2,5 hour drive, you leave at 3,5 hours, end of,

Really bizarre behaviour from them.

(Yes you should allow more time if you know well that your DS is car sick and will need you to stop)

I'm still confused. It was a late afternoon meal, an early evening meal and an evening meal. What time was the meal?

Anyone who doesn’t cut someone driving hours to see them some slack on arrival
time is a twat and probably doesn’t have any mates.
You could easily leave three/3.5/4 hours for a 2.5 hour drive and still be quite late. How early do you expect people to leave to see you? Come down the night before perhaps and stay in a travelodge so you don’t have to wait around getting a milkshake?
Honestly the idea of pottering on an hours drive and your mates turning up having driven over three hours to see you and dealt with sickness/delays/diversions and being cross they are late is the absolute height of Lady Muck self aggrandisement. Get over yourselves.

Arguably so is arranging to meet, not accounting for traffic or your travel sickness kid, not communicating appropriately so your friends leave then have to sit and wait for you for 40 mins.

We did factor in. But can't factor in not being able to use the motorway half the way and switch to A roads
I text to explain. Sometimes life happens like that. I think friends (well certainly my experience to now) is is given and taken. We were late, we apologised. I don't think it's a horrid sin or symptomatic of some failure other than I appreciate it could be felt rude. Hence the apologies. It didn't ruin the day, the activities or affect not been able to enjoy the planned meal.

You were late without good reason. YABU.