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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Couple having sex in front of window

462 replies

doremifaso · 31/08/2025 10:05

My children’s bedrooms looks out toward a house in the distance that has a bedroom in which looks like a converted loft. They have big floor to ceiling windows and NO curtains.
We were told by my neighbour once that he saw the occupiers there having sex in full view in front of the window - this was during an afternoon.
My husband also witnessed their act just last night when settling the kids to bed. It’s not hard to miss because their light is on and they’re BIG windows. My husband said he saw a lot of detail.
Not to sound prude but I’m really concerned about my children one day seeing them doing it. I have both sons and a daughter and don’t really want to expose them to sex in this way.

I’ve been told I don’t really have much right to complain because it’s within their own home but I am thinking of writing a letter to politely ask if they would be able to get some blinds or curtains installed.
If they ignore it, is there anything else I could do?
What would you do?

OP posts:
Shelly369 · 31/08/2025 15:25

sundayfundayclub · 31/08/2025 15:23

Some of these posts are classic contrary MNs!

I’d tell you to stop looking through my windows if that letter appeared on my doorstep, or even forward to the police: peeping toms!

Close your curtains you weirdo!

Lots of wine…..☺️

Moonlightdust · 31/08/2025 15:26

These ridiculous close your curtains responses. It is not acceptable to be exposing yourselves to others. Despite being in their own house they are behind floor to ceiling windows with a light on at night - I expect that is pretty visible from all around even quite some distance!
How is that acceptable for kids who could be watching? You can’t expect parents to permanently be on the look out and closing curtains all the time!

MovingOn2025 · 31/08/2025 15:26

Herewegoagainandagainandagain · 31/08/2025 15:23

Absolutely DO NOT put their photo on facebook, faces blurred or not!!!

@MovingOn2025 awful advice, that would be a criminal act.

Omg it was a joke. Sorry forgot to add “joke” at the end! Also don't lob eggs. That was a joke too 🤦🏻‍♀️

sundayfundayclub · 31/08/2025 15:27

Exactly. I don't know who all these posters are who have no issues with children seeing people have sex, but I wouldn't want them anywhere near my children that's for sure!

It's all bullshit!

If the OP had said my dc accidentally saw me having sex she would be told her dc would grow up to be a serial killer, need therapy, call social services, blah blah.

SerendipityJane · 31/08/2025 15:28

MovingOn2025 · 31/08/2025 15:26

Omg it was a joke. Sorry forgot to add “joke” at the end! Also don't lob eggs. That was a joke too 🤦🏻‍♀️

Edited

It has never been proven that intelligence and humour are related.

I believe.

SamphiretheTervosaur · 31/08/2025 15:29

Apologies. Duplicate post because of the silly issue with text remaining long after posting

LBFseBrom · 31/08/2025 15:33

doremifaso · 31/08/2025 13:12

Posters who are obsessed with the distance… it’s much less than a mile away. You don’t need binoculars to see. Anyone with decent eyesight can make out what they’re doing without purposefully ‘looking out for it’.

Do you want me to include a map or sketch for further analysis?

Yes, that might help. You say the distance is less than a mile. I couldn't see what people were doing through the windows of houses opposite me, I might have seen vague movements but not be able to identify what they were doing without a telescope. It's about a hundred yards from my old house to the post box and I certainly couldn't see in anyone's window that far away, definitely no willies or boobs.

How has it been resolved?

JifNtGif · 31/08/2025 15:35
View Inspect GIF by Ed Sheeran

Your husband seems like he made very close observation.

Raven85 · 31/08/2025 15:36

doremifaso · 31/08/2025 10:05

My children’s bedrooms looks out toward a house in the distance that has a bedroom in which looks like a converted loft. They have big floor to ceiling windows and NO curtains.
We were told by my neighbour once that he saw the occupiers there having sex in full view in front of the window - this was during an afternoon.
My husband also witnessed their act just last night when settling the kids to bed. It’s not hard to miss because their light is on and they’re BIG windows. My husband said he saw a lot of detail.
Not to sound prude but I’m really concerned about my children one day seeing them doing it. I have both sons and a daughter and don’t really want to expose them to sex in this way.

I’ve been told I don’t really have much right to complain because it’s within their own home but I am thinking of writing a letter to politely ask if they would be able to get some blinds or curtains installed.
If they ignore it, is there anything else I could do?
What would you do?

Whilst I can see why your unhappy and I do think they are inconsiderate. Surely you can get blinds for your kids room?

There is ofc a small risk of them peeking though. They likely think they are high enough not to be noticed.

You could write to them i dont see the harm but I wouldnt take it any further if they do not comply. I think if you explained that their window is in full view of childrens bedrooms they would do something to ensure they are no longer seen. Even if its just turning the light off.

I think people having a go here are not appreciating that its your kids seeing this that your bothered about which is completely understandable and I would have exactly the same concerns

SerendipityJane · 31/08/2025 15:38

JifNtGif · 31/08/2025 15:35

Your husband seems like he made very close observation.

Once on Monday.
Once on Tuesday
Once on Wednesday
.
.
.

it's all a bit Craig David now.

Sunnyscribe · 31/08/2025 15:39

Yes anonymous note "sorry this may be slightly embarrassing but I've seen you having sex through your window, please could you close the curtains? Thanks"

Not sure how anonymous it would be as not sure how many people have a view of this window?

I think I'd only be bothered if my children were young.

If they were older it wouldn't bother me so much.

But yeah it very inappropriate for young children and also can see it's offensive to anyone of any age but personally I wouldn't be bothered if it was infrequent. I'd just look away.

Failing that suppose it would be reporting it to the police next.

MyDeftHedgehog · 31/08/2025 15:41

Its called outraging public decency.
They must know people can see them..
Report them to the police

HerecomesMargo · 31/08/2025 15:49

How was it resolved op?

BunnyLake · 31/08/2025 15:52

YetanotherNC25 · 31/08/2025 10:16

You could not look? Your DH has clearly watched them ‘in the distance’ to see that level of detail. Close your curtains if you don’t want to see.
They’re allowed to have sex in their house. They’re also allowed to to choose not to have curtains spoiling their floor to ceiling windows.
And don’t write to them or you’ll sound even more like a prude.

So it would be fine for someone to stand starkers up against their window for passers by to see because they are in their own home. Can they put a tv screen up by a window and play porn for passers by because well the tv is in their house isn’t it. There are children in OP’s house and luckily most people have boundaries when it comes to common decency.

TaupeMember · 31/08/2025 15:52

JaffacakeCookie · 31/08/2025 11:07

And would they comment, that the women were watching with binoculars and wanking to it?

There are no binoculars!!!

AD1509 · 31/08/2025 15:53

You can definitely be charged with indecent exposure even if you are inside your house. You cannot be shagging near a large lit up window for everyone to see. I bet nobody would say mind your business if it just some bloke stood starkers having a wank whilst looking out over the local community.

CountryMouse22 · 31/08/2025 15:57

They might be starting to sell tickets!

BunnyLake · 31/08/2025 16:00

AD1509 · 31/08/2025 15:53

You can definitely be charged with indecent exposure even if you are inside your house. You cannot be shagging near a large lit up window for everyone to see. I bet nobody would say mind your business if it just some bloke stood starkers having a wank whilst looking out over the local community.

Exactly! I find some pp on MN find absolutely anything low class to be acceptable if it’s women, and the fault is with the person who accidentally or unavoidably looks (tits hanging out of low cut dresses in the office, arses hanging out of thong bikinis on work trips, people shagging with lights on and no drapes so the neighbours can see, all perfectly acceptable standards for some.

Rosscameasdoody · 31/08/2025 16:15

Moveoverdarlin · 31/08/2025 10:23

My husband said he saw a lot of detail.

*LOL! Whilst clutching his binoculars and furiously wanking.

While putting the kids to bed ?

CunningLinguist2 · 31/08/2025 16:21

doremifaso · 31/08/2025 13:47

It’s been resolved now and I thank everyone who agreed that it’s not acceptable at all. To those who even considered it to be (given children were in the equation) either don’t have kids themselves or if they do, don’t give two about them!
Also says a lot about one’s character when defending such action.

Oh dear… lots of “assume” in there, isn’t there?

Rosscameasdoody · 31/08/2025 16:21

OneZanyOpalPanda · 31/08/2025 14:47

Most definitely not indecent exposure as this requires a) the intentional exposure of genitals as well as b) the intent to cause distress, harassment or alarm. A couple going at it in their own house even if visible from outside hardly meets this threshold!

In front of floor to ceiling windows with no curtains and a light on at night. And you don’t think that’s intentional exposure of genitals. Of course they know people can see them, it’s exhibitionism.

Livelovebehappy · 31/08/2025 16:24

Report them to the police. It’s indecent exposure, done deliberately, and the police will just visit and caution. Can’t believe people on here saying that as it’s on their own property they can do what they please! Does that stretch to a sex session on your front lawn on a Sunday afternoon in front of your neighbours?

SREF2025 · 31/08/2025 16:25

This is what chat gtp told me 😂

Got it — let’s look at this specifically under UK law.

In the UK, the situation you described (sex in your house, in front of a window with no curtains, lights on, visible to the public) could very likely be treated as a criminal offence.

Relevant UK Laws

Sexual Offences Act 2003 – Section 66: Indecent Exposure
It’s an offence if someone intentionally exposes their genitals with the intent that someone will see them and be caused alarm or distress.

Public Order Act 1986 – Section 5: Harassment, Alarm or Distress
Even if intent to shock isn’t proven, behaviour visible to the public that’s likely to cause harassment, alarm, or distress can lead to prosecution.

Common Law “Outraging Public Decency”
This applies where lewd acts are done in public or in a place where at least two people could see them. Courts have ruled that a private property (like your house) can count as “public” if it’s visible to people outside.

How it’s Usually Viewed

If someone happens to glimpse you accidentally and there’s no intent to be seen, police may give a warning.

If you deliberately have sex where passers-by can see, especially with the lights on and curtains open, it can be seen as indecent exposure or outraging public decency.

If children could see, police are far more likely to treat it as serious.

Possible Consequences

Arrest and criminal charges.

Fine or imprisonment (indecent exposure can carry up to 2 years’ custody).

Potentially being placed on the Sex Offenders Register (if convicted of indecent exposure).

✅ Safer choice in the UK: If you want to avoid legal risk, keep sexual activity out of sight — draw curtains, blinds, or move away from street-facing windows.

Would you like me to also look up real UK court cases where people were charged for sex in their own homes but visible through a window? That could give you concrete examples of how the law is applied.

Cakeandcardio · 31/08/2025 16:27

ElfAndSafetyBored · 31/08/2025 10:19

So PPs think it is OK to put on live sex shows? I’m not sure it is. It sounds like indecent exposure to me.

It’s not like OP has gone looking for it, or snuck into their garden to watch. She’s in her own home.

I agree! Just typical mumsnet posters who have to tell the OP she is wrong and, in fact, her own husband is the pervert 🙄🙄

Mumtumtastic · 31/08/2025 16:29

Diblin93 · 31/08/2025 14:24

, exhibitionism, also known as indecent exposure, is against the law in the UK and many other countries. In the UK, the act of intentionally exposing one's genitals in public to cause alarm or distress to others is a criminal offense. Convictions for indecent exposure can result in penalties such as fines, community service, or even a prison sentence, and may require the offender to register on the sex offender registe

Yep, this.

Crazy all the ‘you can do anything you want in your own home’ replies.
So, domestic violence, child abuse, inhumane neglect of animals, indecent exposure, online scammers, literally the thousands of crimes that can go on behind closed doors is all fine because it is done within someone’s own home? Utter tripe 🤨 I hope OP reported them to the police

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