AIBU suggesting partner get rid of his new puppy

[Unsure333]

Hi all, a bit of backstory. My partner has been wanting to get a puppy for a while. I already have an elderly dog and an almost 2 year old puppy. I dont have a problem with him getting any animal he wants, as long as he looks after it. We talked for a few months and he agreed he would do the majority of work with new pup, just as i have mine.
I have recently gone back into education and have to be up for 5.30 to get myself ready before getting daughter ready for school and running for the train so i dont want to be up all hours house training a new pup. I also have a physical disability that has worsened over the years so i cant bend down to pick things up without being in pain.

Fast forward to last week, partner found his perfect dog. She is beautiful and so loving BUT since having his perfect dog, partner is yet to do anything with her. In the time she had been with us, he's fed her once. The rest of the times have been left to me, including the playing and walking etc...

Last night me and my daughter went to my sisters for a girly sleepover before school starts. I offered to take the dogs with me but partner insisted he could take care of them. I left around 7pm so they were all sorted for the night. Today i got home at around 1pm, the parrot had'nt been uncovered and let out and non of the dogs had been fed. The pup is on 3 meals a day. Meaning shes only had 2.

So my question is aibu to tell him to get rid?

To note* i do not agree with getting animals and selling them. I just dont know what to do, my schedule is already so busy without adding a puppy to the mix.

Fast forward to last week, partner found his perfect dog. She is beautiful and so loving BUT since having his perfect dog, partner is yet to do anything with her. In the time she had been with us, he's fed her once. The rest of the times have been left to me, including the playing and walking etc...

Why does he even want a puppy?

You sound great, but this dude? No. What does he bring to your lives, in all seriousness? He’s too lazy to uncover a parrot and walk & feed his and your dogs? Is he letting them shit all over your house? This is not ok, and yes, you should probably take the puppy back to her breeder because she’s going to be neglected- but please ask the hard questions about this man too. Is he an asset in your life or just there?

Puppy goes back to breeder toot sweet.

id advise him to send the puppy back to breeder as he’s not done basic care for said puppy, but as if also say this was the end of my relationship, what he does with his dog when he lives elsewhere would not be my concern. Just he has to go within a week and the dog goes too, either with him or back to breeder.

Im sorry but there’s no way j could be with a man this useless.

Firstly, reach out to the breeder of the puppy and see if they are willing to take them back (any reputable breeder would be) and make sure that precious pup goes to live somewhere where it will be safe, happy, healthy, cared for, wanted and loved.

Secondly, and most importantly, dump this useless, flaccid ballsack of a man and don’t look back!

I voted yabu for the original question because I think instead of telling him to rehome the pup, you should give him an ultimatum to look after it first. But an equally valid option is getting rid of him and keeping the pup.

Your parents a fucking prick. And so are you if you stay with him and have your child witness him abusing animals. Contact the breeder and tell them what’s happening. That puppy would be dead within weeks if not days if you weren’t there

Although to be fair, a griwn man, who wanted a puppy, shouldn’t really telling.

Why are you more concerned about 'getting rid' of an innocent animal than a useless human being that neglects animals?

Ive told him he has a week to change his ways and start looking after the dog or shes going to have to go. He admitted he has no clue what to do with a puppy as hes never actually had to deal with one, it was his ex that raised his elderly dog, who passed a few years ago and i did all the training with mine.
Also told him im going to write him a daily schedule to follow.

As for not letting the parrot out, he said he forgot which i dont find acceptable, the parrot has his own room and it would have taken him seconds to open his door.

We have been together many years and ive never known him to act this way, he loves animals and they love him. Although now im starting to think he only loves the fun parts of them...
After today im starting to see him in a different light. I can hardly look at him, i just feel so let down and disappointed and lied to.

He has apologised and is now sleeping on the settee with alarms set to take her out for the toilet, but the damage has already been done.

I think I'd be telling him what he did is a dumping offence, just to cement it into his brain.

He doesn't sound as if he has a clue. But he'll have to learn

I don't understand what he was doing to be able to ignore multiple animals making their feelings known though.

He is a lazy, selfish, cruel, piece of shit. Ditch him.

He was asleep downstairs with the pup. The door to the garden was open and most of the dogs inside toys were strewn across the garden.

Yanbu, he's irresponsible.

You lost me at 'parrot in a cage'. It's just wrong 🦜

Keep the poor puppy, lose the selfish, pathetic, despicable man child.

Ditch the partner, keep the dog

Hes a captive bred bird, he isnt built for the wild. He has a cage to sleep in on a night, through the day he is free range.

Parrots are like toddlers and need a routine or they get moody, if he was left to his own devices then i would likely have a very angry bird and unlike toddlers they have very large strong beaks...

Bet your parrot is more devastated about living in a cage rather than the wild

Oh, you know nothing 😆 She spends most of her time out of the cage but does go in it at night.

My 9 year old has just got 2 kittens and researched everything that they need, feeds them, plays with them, argues it's not fair that I do the litter tray, plans and builds enrichment activities for them.

Your partner is useless.

‘going to write him a daily schedule to follow’

Don’t do that. He wanted this and is an adult, he should do the thinking and other work.

You say his behaviour is a surprise, but is it really, or did you just ignore the evidence? Does he consistently pull his weight with domestic work, as a step parent, help out in practical ways with your animals?

Even if your DP was caring for the pup as he should it was still poor judgment IMO on your part to agree when as a household you have DC, two dogs and a parrot already. Also starting study and a disability affected by the physical demands of pet care.

Surely you realise you are asking completely the wrong question?

He admitted he has no clue what to do with a puppy as hes never actually had to deal with one

I'm glad you've spoken to him about it but I'm deeply suspicious of this.

He's observed his ex care for a (HIS) puppy. More recently he's observed you care for a puppy. I can see he might have missed some detail but he should have a broad idea of the work involved. And that should cover feeding and toileting at regular intervals at the very least.

Agree with PP, it's not for you to write him a schedule. He can do his own fucking homework. Add to your list - vets appointments scheduled for vaccinations & neutering, and booking puppy training classes.

He needs to set an alarm to tell him when to let the dog out to the toilet? What about feeding the dogs? Does he need an alarm for that too as he ‘forgot’ to feed three dogs when you went out?

I am actually shocked by your op. What was he doing that was so important that he didn’t feed the dogs? I assume he fed himself.

Omg what a prat; no clue what to do with a puppy?!! Why get one then. Before I got my dog I spent hours researching online on what to do, asking dog owner friends questions about what they did!!! It’s not hard!! He’s irresponsible. Hes thinking you will pick up the hard work part of it and he’ll just swan in for puppy cuddles, looking like fun dog dad 🤪