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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU suggesting partner get rid of his new puppy

110 replies

Unsure333 · 30/08/2025 19:41

Hi all, a bit of backstory. My partner has been wanting to get a puppy for a while. I already have an elderly dog and an almost 2 year old puppy. I dont have a problem with him getting any animal he wants, as long as he looks after it. We talked for a few months and he agreed he would do the majority of work with new pup, just as i have mine.
I have recently gone back into education and have to be up for 5.30 to get myself ready before getting daughter ready for school and running for the train so i dont want to be up all hours house training a new pup. I also have a physical disability that has worsened over the years so i cant bend down to pick things up without being in pain.

Fast forward to last week, partner found his perfect dog. She is beautiful and so loving BUT since having his perfect dog, partner is yet to do anything with her. In the time she had been with us, he's fed her once. The rest of the times have been left to me, including the playing and walking etc...

Last night me and my daughter went to my sisters for a girly sleepover before school starts. I offered to take the dogs with me but partner insisted he could take care of them. I left around 7pm so they were all sorted for the night. Today i got home at around 1pm, the parrot had'nt been uncovered and let out and non of the dogs had been fed. The pup is on 3 meals a day. Meaning shes only had 2.

So my question is aibu to tell him to get rid?

To note* i do not agree with getting animals and selling them. I just dont know what to do, my schedule is already so busy without adding a puppy to the mix.

OP posts:
Blueblell · 31/08/2025 09:15

I don’t think this was ever going to work, you already have two dogs so eventually he will think she might as well be feeding and walking my puppy at the same time. Although puppy’s are like baby’s in the beginning and need quite a schedule of care. Is he really prepared and able to do this?

gamerchick · 31/08/2025 09:21

Unsure333 · 30/08/2025 23:24

He was asleep downstairs with the pup. The door to the garden was open and most of the dogs inside toys were strewn across the garden.

Show quote history

Until 1pm though?

Well I hope he gets on the beam quickly before puppy gets attached. But I get the impression hes a bit like a kid, someone else does all the hard work.

PullTheBricksDown · 31/08/2025 09:29

gamerchick · 31/08/2025 09:21

Until 1pm though?

Well I hope he gets on the beam quickly before puppy gets attached. But I get the impression hes a bit like a kid, someone else does all the hard work.

Show quote history

Yes, what was he actually doing all this time? Whatever it was, it doesn't sound like it makes him a good person to live with.

If you do kick him out, make sure yourself the puppy is returned to the breeder rather than sending her away with him. She won't have a good life with him ☹️

PotNoodleBeefAndTomato · 31/08/2025 09:37

You have gone back into education? Well how about you educate yourself in looking after animals. Unbelievable attitude you have thinking about telling your partner to “get rid” because looking after them is proving to be too much of a commitment and it’s all a bit inconvenient. How about you support your partner to look after the animals. If you can’t do that then pay someone to help. Animals are living beings with feelings of their own. If you decide to “get rid” of that “beautiful loving” puppy then do so responsibly. Make sure you get her speyed so she can’t be used as a breeding machine. There’s a chance she will be passed onto unscrupulous people (puppy farm / BYB) and could live a miserable existence and if that happens then that’s on you!

OfftoWorkIGo · 31/08/2025 09:43

What’s he doing today? He could spend some time doing research on how to look after a puppy.

Like a pp, my dc did that herself when we got a pet. She got a book from the library, researched online and she knows every single thing about the pet and how to care for it which she does happily.

Is he one of those who lies around spending most of his time on his phone? Now he’s got something productive to do.

AcquadiP · 31/08/2025 09:43

Unsure333 · 30/08/2025 19:41

Hi all, a bit of backstory. My partner has been wanting to get a puppy for a while. I already have an elderly dog and an almost 2 year old puppy. I dont have a problem with him getting any animal he wants, as long as he looks after it. We talked for a few months and he agreed he would do the majority of work with new pup, just as i have mine.
I have recently gone back into education and have to be up for 5.30 to get myself ready before getting daughter ready for school and running for the train so i dont want to be up all hours house training a new pup. I also have a physical disability that has worsened over the years so i cant bend down to pick things up without being in pain.

Fast forward to last week, partner found his perfect dog. She is beautiful and so loving BUT since having his perfect dog, partner is yet to do anything with her. In the time she had been with us, he's fed her once. The rest of the times have been left to me, including the playing and walking etc...

Last night me and my daughter went to my sisters for a girly sleepover before school starts. I offered to take the dogs with me but partner insisted he could take care of them. I left around 7pm so they were all sorted for the night. Today i got home at around 1pm, the parrot had'nt been uncovered and let out and non of the dogs had been fed. The pup is on 3 meals a day. Meaning shes only had 2.

So my question is aibu to tell him to get rid?

To note* i do not agree with getting animals and selling them. I just dont know what to do, my schedule is already so busy without adding a puppy to the mix.

I'd be rehoming your partner the lazy, cruel twat.

anytipswelcome · 31/08/2025 09:50

Are you really sexually attracted to someone who is cruel to animals OP? I can’t get my head around it.

WildFlowerBees · 31/08/2025 09:51

Dump him, keep the animals.

Coconutter24 · 31/08/2025 10:07

Also told him I'm going to write him a daily schedule to follow.

Why? This just shows how irresponsible he is, before even getting the puppy he should have done his research on what needs doing with them so he could prepare himself.
How has he not fed the puppy? Has he asked you to do it, have you offered, have you just done it whilst feeding your own? Does he even know if the pup has eaten more than once in the time he’s had them

JFDIYOLO · 31/08/2025 10:14

Yes get rid. Of the cruel, neglectful, irresponsible, selfish bastard you have allowed into to your and your poor pets' life.

And I'd be keeping the puppy.

Zempy · 31/08/2025 11:01

I would get rid of him and keep the puppy.

PotNoodleBeefAndTomato · 31/08/2025 11:05

OP, you need to change your mindset . You’re the one saying, “I dont have a problem with him getting any animal he wants, as long as he looks after it.”

You need to have a problem with it. You both sound totally irresponsible!

sittingonabeach · 31/08/2025 11:09

Who looks after the dogs when you are at work?

PinkiOcelot · 31/08/2025 11:11

ttcat37 · 30/08/2025 20:14

Bet your parrot is more devastated about living in a cage rather than the wild

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I was waiting for someone to come out with this crap.

You do realise that parrots can’t just be let out in the wild don’t you? They wouldn’t survive for starters.

Silverbirchleaf · 31/08/2025 11:20

Most people do the research about looking after a puppy before purchasing it. Not wait until it arrives.

Tink3rbell30 · 31/08/2025 11:43

You actually still want to have sex with someone who's neglectful to animals?

ttcat37 · 31/08/2025 14:53

PinkiOcelot · 31/08/2025 11:11

I was waiting for someone to come out with this crap.

You do realise that parrots can’t just be let out in the wild don’t you? They wouldn’t survive for starters.

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Well they can’t in the UK, obviously. But perhaps if they weren’t stolen as eggs from nests in the wild, they’d have a better chance of not living in a cage. Or, perhaps if people stopped buying birds bred in captivity, to keep in cages, the market for breeding parrots would die the death it deserves.
Is that some crap you were waiting to come out with or is that truth too truthy for you…?

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 31/08/2025 15:01

PinkiOcelot · 31/08/2025 11:11

I was waiting for someone to come out with this crap.

You do realise that parrots can’t just be let out in the wild don’t you? They wouldn’t survive for starters.

Show quote history

That doesn't mean we should be buying them and keeping them locked up in our homes for their entire lives.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 31/08/2025 15:09

we shouldnt be buying them and keeping them locked up in our homes for their entire lives.

I didn't buy mine, I adopted her. Are you aware of how many parrots are in rescues? How would you like them to be looked after in their lifetime since they wouldn't survive in the wild?

I'll point out that both the OP and I are unhappy that her partner left her parrot covered in its cage far too long. Clearly we both know parrots shouldn't be kept in cages for long periods. OP even says hers has its own room.

I'll also add that parrots need 10-12 hours sleep somewhere dark. They need to feel safe. That's a good time to use a cage.

Millytante · 31/08/2025 15:12

You are extremely unreasonable if you stay with such a feckless, animal-abusing git. I don’t know how you can bear his presence.

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 31/08/2025 15:12

I didn't buy mine, I adopted her. Are you aware of how many parrots are in rescues? How would you like them to be looked after in their lifetime since they wouldn't survive in the wild?

I was speaking generally.

And IMO they should be kept in sanctuaries where they can free-fly as much as possible, in an environment as close to the wild as possible, not locked up in someone's house.

Of course I recognise that's not possible for most, but I still don't think that means it's okay to keep them in our houses. You wouldn't keep an owl or eagle in a house - why is a parrot any different?

DisplayPurposesOnly · 31/08/2025 15:49

You wouldn't keep an owl or eagle in a house - why is a parrot any different?

What's the difference between dogs and wolves?

You're derailing the OP's thread. I'm only here to support her upset about her parrot (and puppy). If you want to debate the ethics of pet keeping, start a thread of your own.

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 31/08/2025 16:02

DisplayPurposesOnly · 31/08/2025 15:49

You wouldn't keep an owl or eagle in a house - why is a parrot any different?

What's the difference between dogs and wolves?

You're derailing the OP's thread. I'm only here to support her upset about her parrot (and puppy). If you want to debate the ethics of pet keeping, start a thread of your own.

I didn't realise you were the thread police.

I was responding to a previous comment which is kind of how a forum works.

intrepidpanda · 31/08/2025 16:08

Why would he feed train walk it. No need. You are doing it.
Stop.
If he doesn't do it call the RSPCA.

OneNaiceSnail · 31/08/2025 16:13

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