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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU suggesting partner get rid of his new puppy

110 replies

Unsure333 · 30/08/2025 19:41

Hi all, a bit of backstory. My partner has been wanting to get a puppy for a while. I already have an elderly dog and an almost 2 year old puppy. I dont have a problem with him getting any animal he wants, as long as he looks after it. We talked for a few months and he agreed he would do the majority of work with new pup, just as i have mine.
I have recently gone back into education and have to be up for 5.30 to get myself ready before getting daughter ready for school and running for the train so i dont want to be up all hours house training a new pup. I also have a physical disability that has worsened over the years so i cant bend down to pick things up without being in pain.

Fast forward to last week, partner found his perfect dog. She is beautiful and so loving BUT since having his perfect dog, partner is yet to do anything with her. In the time she had been with us, he's fed her once. The rest of the times have been left to me, including the playing and walking etc...

Last night me and my daughter went to my sisters for a girly sleepover before school starts. I offered to take the dogs with me but partner insisted he could take care of them. I left around 7pm so they were all sorted for the night. Today i got home at around 1pm, the parrot had'nt been uncovered and let out and non of the dogs had been fed. The pup is on 3 meals a day. Meaning shes only had 2.

So my question is aibu to tell him to get rid?

To note* i do not agree with getting animals and selling them. I just dont know what to do, my schedule is already so busy without adding a puppy to the mix.

OP posts:
SJ198 · 30/08/2025 20:43

Do you live together? I presume you don’t as it would be a bit strange to have ‘his and hers puppies’ under one roof. If you don’t live together id just stop being so accommodating to the puppy.

If you do live together this puppy is definitely going to end up your problem. Clearly we don’t know the complexities about who owns the house you live in or if he is the father of your DD etc, so it’s difficult to advise what you could actually do. But it will 100% end up your problem if he’s not willing to get rid and you’re not willing to leave him. That is already clear.

Kamek · 30/08/2025 20:45

Get rid of him not the animals - he's a neglectful prick

Spies · 30/08/2025 20:45

Rhubarbandgooseburycrumble · 30/08/2025 19:44

I’d be dumping the partner, hate anyone that’s cruel and neglectful to animals.

As is so often the case the first post nails it. Honestly how can you possibly find this person attractive and want to be in a relationship with them given how they treat animals?

Theroadt · 30/08/2025 20:48

Rhubarbandgooseburycrumble · 30/08/2025 19:44

I’d be dumping the partner, hate anyone that’s cruel and neglectful to animals.

This

Sera1989 · 30/08/2025 20:59

He's fed her once since last week and hasn't played with her or walked her at all? And then he left all the animals unfed for half a day?? Has he ever been left alone with your dogs/animals before? I have a feeling he's not much use around the house generally because no one who can look after themself would behave like this. I'd also get rid as PPs have said. He is useless at best and neglectful at worst, plus he knows you have a condition but has presumably been happy to let you clean up after the dog. I bet your daughter would be a better pet parent

Cherrysoup · 30/08/2025 21:01

Appalling behaviour on his behalf. He didn’t feed the puppy? I’m afraid I’d be absolutely refusing t help, puppies are very hard work, I’m on my 3rd set of dogs, I know how much work they are when little. He needs to train her, feed her, take her out, carried or in the car until she’s allowed out properly. Go nuts, don’t help or get him to return her. You sound too busy to worry about HIS puppy. Don’t tell me, he does sod all in the house. Couldn’t even be arsed to uncover the poor bloody parrot? Disgusting.

Cardinalita90 · 30/08/2025 21:01

For most people the first few days after getting a new pet are the most exciting, so the fact he's done nothing with her is a recipe for disaster. He's not going to suddenly become more interested in caring for her.

It's best to rehome her now before she grows too attached.

Laura95167 · 30/08/2025 21:05

Hes fed her once!?!

He isnt just lazy hes neglectful and youve facilitated. Id dump him and let him do what he likes with his pet

Silverbirchleaf · 30/08/2025 21:07

Cardinalita90 · 30/08/2025 21:01

For most people the first few days after getting a new pet are the most exciting, so the fact he's done nothing with her is a recipe for disaster. He's not going to suddenly become more interested in caring for her.

It's best to rehome her now before she grows too attached.

So true.

LaughingCat · 30/08/2025 21:08

Oh, I came on here all ready to read the riot act to someone who would consider telling their partner to get rid of an animal but I’ve U-turned so hard I have whiplash.

There is no excuse for neglecting animals. I don’t say this very often but I could NOT stay with someone who acted like this.

rumred · 30/08/2025 21:08

What a vile human he is. How on earth can you be attracted to such a selfish arsehole? Poor animals.

smallslyfox · 30/08/2025 21:09

How can you bring yourself to sleep with a man who can't even be arsed to feed a dog? Ew.

Itiswhysofew · 30/08/2025 21:15

What was his excuse for not caring for them? That's really awful. Who would take the puppy? It's his, so he has to deal with that, but I couldn't tolerate someone who doesn't care enough to even meet the basic needs of their little friend.

Concretejungle1 · 30/08/2025 21:19

He’d be gone. I would not look the same way at a bloke who mistreated our animals. There is no excuse for not feeding, giving water to your pets, your poor parrot! ( was it fed?)
Where the poor dogs walked?
he’d be gone and i’d keep the pup. I don’t say it lightly. I could never feel the same way.

Plmnki · 30/08/2025 21:23

Keep the puppy, get rid of him, he is vile.

Grow123 · 30/08/2025 21:24

Do you live together?

wrongthinker · 30/08/2025 21:25

I would absolutely kick him out. He's neglectful and abusive. I don't think I would be happy with him keeping the puppy either, given how neglectful he is. What a scumbag.

reversegear · 30/08/2025 21:25

Yuck maybe cover him up all day and dont fed him. In answer to your question, back to the breeder for a better life is maybe best.

Lavender14 · 30/08/2025 21:27

I would actually just get rid of him.

Anyone who can shirk their responsibilities to the point of neglecting a living animal wouldn't appeal to me as a partner in the slightest.

MuffinsAreJustCakesAtBreakfast · 30/08/2025 21:29

Respectfully, WHY are you with this idiot?

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 30/08/2025 21:30

I think there is something not right with someone who can leave animals like this. what was His excuse? I'd be reconsidering the entire relationship

Jumpingthruhoops · 30/08/2025 21:33

Rhubarbandgooseburycrumble · 30/08/2025 19:44

I’d be dumping the partner, hate anyone that’s cruel and neglectful to animals.

As always, first post nails it.

Agree. I'd be getting rid of him before the puppy!

ThrowMeAwayTheVeryNextDay · 30/08/2025 21:34

YANBU, but get rid of him while you're at it. He's lazy and that only leads to resentment in a relationship IME.

Buildingthefuture · 30/08/2025 21:39

Keep the puppy, get rid of the dickhead. DH and I have a lot of animals that we are both equally responsible for and capable of taking care of.
If I came home at 1pm and he hadn’t fed them? Unless he was literally incapacitated ( two broken legs incapacitated with no ability to let me know) I would honestly jettison him from my life. It’s cruelty and neglect on a scale I will not accept.

Userengage · 30/08/2025 21:40

I bet he’s shit at parenting too. Rehome the puppy; you cannot cope with another dog and he doesn’t deserve one.

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