To not want to allow DH any freedom because he takes the piss with it?

[letsmakebiscuits]

Title probably sounds a bit more provocative than intended. But hear me out.

So we have two young kids - age one and four. Obviously they are a lot of work.

Whenever I have them solo DH uses the time to do things he’s obviously wanted to do for a while; fine. Except then he just takes the piss with it. So for example - a couple of weeks ago I took the children to a birthday party in the morning and then another mum suggested we go to soft play. It wasn’t very local so DH was alone from half nine in the morning to four in the afternoon. He still wanted to get his hair cut. Or I’ll take them to the park for a few hours to let DH do something but then he’s wanting to get the car valeted or something.

It gets on my nerves. I think he should use the (ample) time I give him for these tasks. AIBU?

that would annoy me too OP

Not read everyone's comments but read @letsmakebiscuits replies. You have said about taking him to a party as well - would it not make sense to get him to do the parties alone or alternate? Surely you could say last time I took the kids, could you do it this time. I am going to get my hair cut during that time. This would then model to him how you want him to use any child free time.
Also as someone else said, communicate. If he has had child free time on Saturday and you haven't, when it gets to Sunday and he says he's off out then you say 'oh, you had time to do your things yesterday, now it's my time, you need to do something with the children. Maybe the park'.
If he is ignoring you and not sharing the load then I would suggest counselling and looking at overall whether your relationship is working. Maybe he needs to see how upset you are for things to change.

Just block the dickheads. Some people treat it as a sport.

Well, first post nails it as usual.

Good for you.

Can you block posters on here? Please tell me how!!!

Really? 😕

No, you can't.

Does it fuck. The first post is ridiculous.

Condolences on your loss. It’s the hardest thing to get through 💐

So whilst you’re sat down drinking coffee whilst your kids play (either at a party or at soft play), you’re annoyed that he’s sat down drinking coffee….?

@SpuddledYou can’t block people on Mumsnet

Has that changed? I was sure that you could put posters on ignore - thought that was the same thing. I've never done it though.

I think that would be a great feature.

Totally agree with this! That’s madness that he thinks that’s ok!!

Kids are aged one and four, there is little to no chance of sitting down drinking coffee at soft play. At that age I was in there with them (not by choice 😂). And the noise! Did I mention the noise 😂! Horrendous. After soft play I need to lie down in a darkened room.

😂 don’t be so obtuse to believe that these two scenarios are the same. Have you looked after many 1 and 4 year olds recently?

Not sure why it’s so hard for people to understand the OP; of course he’s taking the mick by faffing around in his “free time” then suddenly needing to do XYZ when you’re back and he should be “helping” (parenting) his children with you.