Family holiday, my parents gifted to me and are now saying my brother doesn’t have to pay

[FamilyHolidayTroubles]

My adult brother and I are going on a trip with my parents. It was said from the start that we had to pay for ourselves, and every month I’ve been putting aside a certain amount to make sure that I had my share covered, and all of my spending money for the trip.

I recently passed some very important professional exams, so my parents said they’d pay for my share of the trip - essentially gifting me my saved money back.

They’ve now said though that it would be unfair if my brother had to pay. Turns out he told my mum the other week that he’s not saved any money and wouldn’t be able to afford to go. AIBU to think this is a bit unfair? We’ve had over a year to save, and if he didn’t bother surely that’s his problem, not mine?

They've probably just looked at it like you've worked really hard and saved up the money so they decided to pay for you and then 'to make it fair' paid for your brother too. They really aren't evil. Give them a break

The vibe is that she won't care about how her parents feel because her feelings are the only ones in this family that matter.

why should it matter though when they had one condition? We had to save. He hasn’t saved, he broke the rules and so he doesn’t get to come.

What’s that got to do with you? Enjoy your free holiday and let him get on with it.

It shouldn't matter that your parents are going to be miserable on the holiday they're paying for?

Why are there SO many people on here who just don’t get it?

OP was given the free trip as a reward for passing exams.

OPs brother was given a free trip for nothing.

They want him there. If he doesn’t go, they’ll have a worse time. You’d rather they have a worse time than your brother get something he doesn’t ‘deserve’. That says a lot about your character.

OP, put your phone down, get some fresh air. Talk to your Dad. Nobody on this thread apparently is able to change your mind on this, and your levels of anger are honestly astonishing.

But the point being it is totally unfair to do that. It’s treating him the same as me when I’ve worked a lot harder than he has.

I'm starting to get Jenny Joyce from Derry Girls vibes.

Except Jenny was a bit more endearing.

But they wouldn’t have a worse time.

Why are you all so privvy to each other's circumstances?

The broke the rules when deciding to pay for you. So then they had to pay for your brother too. They probably thought they were doing something nice and you would both be really happy

Coming from someone who has always been treated differently from her brothers by both parents, be glad you're in that position. You now have a lovely holiday and your savings.

By the sounds of things, you will always be 1 step ahead of your brother and your parents are most likely very proud of you. Even if they don't make a big show of it.

There are far worse problems to be having in life.

You honestly sound like a school child

It’s very kind of your parents to pay for your holiday as a way in congratulating you for passing your exams.
They seem to of paid for your DB holiday just for walking on the planet.
If they wanted to treat you both it should not have been framed as a “ well done “ gift

Agreed, OP sounds bitter, selfish and immature

How do you know? Presumably they love him and they want him on the holiday.

They don’t HAVE to. They chose to, because he’s a lazy man who couldn’t be bothered to save.

The only thing that makes me think that this could be genuine and not penned by a hairy hand is the number of posts rushing to the op's defence.

It's not FAIR, wah, wah, wah. - now let me pack a bag for a free holiday from my childhood room I pay pocket money for.

They aren't looking at it like that. They have just paid for both of their children to go on holiday. It would be more unfair if they paid for you but expected him to pay. It's irrelevant what the circumstances are. The only fair thing to do was to either make you both pay or pay for both of you. If you ever have kids you'll get it then

Maybe he's more likeable and better company on holiday? Maybe he balances out your intensity and black-and-white thinking? Who knows?

I don't think they should have framed it as a gift for passing your professional exams though. Those exams were to further your career and for YOUR benefit, so you were already rewarded by passing them.

I expect the poor sods will know better for next time.

All this talk of "fair" and "unfair" makes you sound like a petulant teenager. It doesn't matter if you think it is unfair. Unfair does not come into it. Life is not fair. People are not treated fairly. Many, many things will happen in your life that are unfair but that will have no impact on whether they happen or not. Accept what life offers you, grab the chances given, be thankful that you have a new qualification, a free holiday and money in the bank. Stop this silly, babyish pouting about things being "unfair". Time to grow up.

Maybe they are bringing him along as the whipping boy so the op doesn't turn her ire on them?

@FamilyHolidayTroubles Think you've avoided addressing this so far - ARE you planning a career in the law now?