Family holiday, my parents gifted to me and are now saying my brother doesn’t have to pay

[FamilyHolidayTroubles]

My adult brother and I are going on a trip with my parents. It was said from the start that we had to pay for ourselves, and every month I’ve been putting aside a certain amount to make sure that I had my share covered, and all of my spending money for the trip.

I recently passed some very important professional exams, so my parents said they’d pay for my share of the trip - essentially gifting me my saved money back.

They’ve now said though that it would be unfair if my brother had to pay. Turns out he told my mum the other week that he’s not saved any money and wouldn’t be able to afford to go. AIBU to think this is a bit unfair? We’ve had over a year to save, and if he didn’t bother surely that’s his problem, not mine?

ageist too then

When did you sit them and what did you pass with, then? Because they’re designed to be incredibly hard.

u don’t think he should be coming. It’s that simple.

That old chestnut

She's treating you both equally

You are coming across slightly as foot stomping teenager OP.

I would say though having watched a brother for 20+ years get hand out and bail out after bail out I understand some of your anger and frustration.

However it's clear that you have a different work ethic to your DB and long term that is what stands you in good stead and you will reap the rewards.

My brother is no further along 20 years later and finally my mum has stopped with the hand outs - he moved out 8 years ago at the age of 34.
I'm the polar opposite financially independent since 18 and have now worked my way up to a great career, own a lovely little house and have 2 gorgeous children.

What I'm saying is whilst it feels rubbish now actually you will be on a far better footing going forward and also shows you can do it. So don't stop at this point use your new qualifications and start getting yourself fully independent.

I never understand why people ask ‘am I being unreasonable’ and then when everyone says yes, you are, the person just argues blind that they’re not. 🤦🏻‍♀️

The entire point being we shouldn’t be treated equally.

I passed the LPC many years ago, however have mentored many young lawyers doing the SQE and they are no more difficult

If I were your parents I’d be holidaying alone!

You Sound like a 13 year old. If it grieves you this much I imagine you will be petulant if you go. Stay at home and let your parents enjoy a lovely holiday with your brother. Go on your own trip with the money you saved.

Oh, another one of those threads in which adult children complain about their generous parents because of [insert trivial reason] 🙄

If your parents treated you to a meal for your graduation, would you object to them paying for your brother to come along?

me too, what a horror show

But they also love their son and want him to go on holiday with them.
I imagine they’d rather not have paid for him. I’m sure they’d prefer he paid for himself. But he didn’t, so to get the holiday they wanted (him being there) they had to pay for him. They would obviously rather pay than not have him there. Their choice.

I can’t believe how upset you are that your parents have gifted you £3,000. Talk about being a spoilt brat

You sound like you are 5.

Have you considered ringing the police, bank and amnesty international? This could be a covert fraud ring of younger brothers hiding savings to get free holidays and not pay £50 a month keep to aging parents all whilst trying to bring down the established order of hard working big sisters.
Also consider writing a letter to your mp. It’s frankly outrageous and I’m sure they’ll write back in due course

I’ll ask again. What are you gaining from hanging onto this anger?

Can you see that your anger is completely out of proportion to the situation? Are you able to look at your own behaviour in any of this and reflect?

So I’m just supposed to overlook it, pretend this is fair and just, and get on with it?

Which is utterly ridiculous. He had a year to save. He chose not to.

What do you suggest doing instead?

You could scream and scream until you are sick, I suppose. Your poor parents.

That’s a bit different. He was told to save for this and didn’t bother.

Kicking him off the trip

Wow I'm reading all these replies saying grow up, it's still a free holiday, etc and in disbelief that this seems to be the general consensus! I totally understand where you're coming from. Possibly because I can envisage the exact same thing happening in my family. As pp has said you won't be able to change your parents. The only way forward would be some therapy, perhaps. I'd probably still go on the holiday and then use the savings for something extra nice, then maintain some distance from the family thereafter.