Family holiday, my parents gifted to me and are now saying my brother doesn’t have to pay

[FamilyHolidayTroubles]

My adult brother and I are going on a trip with my parents. It was said from the start that we had to pay for ourselves, and every month I’ve been putting aside a certain amount to make sure that I had my share covered, and all of my spending money for the trip.

I recently passed some very important professional exams, so my parents said they’d pay for my share of the trip - essentially gifting me my saved money back.

They’ve now said though that it would be unfair if my brother had to pay. Turns out he told my mum the other week that he’s not saved any money and wouldn’t be able to afford to go. AIBU to think this is a bit unfair? We’ve had over a year to save, and if he didn’t bother surely that’s his problem, not mine?

It is immaterial whether I am autistic.

he’s lazy and being rewarded for it. No matter how you try to spin it, it’s wrong.

You are definitely getting a free trip because they are paying for your brother. If you'd passed your exams but he'd saved up then you'd still be paying.

Just don't plan to go with them again. Then you don't need to be bitter about what your brother does or doesn't get.

OP sounds like she should be in a Kevin and Perry movie. "It's soooooooo unfair"

Grow the hell up and be grateful for your holiday. Honestly some people.

I’m being punished. I worked myself to the bone for a year while he sat at home and ate takeaways, and he gets the same treatment.

aside from being your parents son, who they love, and what he’d love him to join them on holiday. It’s enough for me with my kids

What an absolute spoiled brat you are who clearly doesn't appreciate how lucky they are.

Op you are increasingly coming over as a very angry fruitcake

So if he doesn't earn enough in tips, your parents let him off the rent for that week?

They are definintely treating him more leniently and favourably than you. I can see why your resentment has built up.

Now that you have passed your exams, will you earn more money? If so, will you earn enough to save for your own house?

You could have sat at home and got takeaways if you wanted to. You made different choices, good for you.
You aren't being punished. You have been supported immensely and are getting a free holiday. Be grateful and have some sympathy for your parents stuck between a rock and a hard place with your lazy brother. I doubt they're thrilled with how he is turning out.

Op I think you need to have a family discussion. You're clearly unhappy and need to tell your feelings to your family. Your parents mistake was telling you it was for your exams. You didn't work hard for a free holiday, you worked hard for your qualification because you wanted it. Yes you've struggled but you're very p1ssed off and it needs to be aired out before your holiday. Doesn't matter what we say, you are unhappy and need to sort it out with them. X

Not immediately.

he earns more than me yearly - he gets enhanced pay every bank holiday, every time he works past 10pm, etc etc. but because he gets tips, they take his rent from his tips as and when.

That's not how parenting works. They presumably love both their children and want them both to come. They wouldn't rather only you came because you've got a better career and you're more organised. They literally want to have a holiday with both of you and this is their way of doing it.

But you now have £3k in savings that your brother doesn’t have

Life is rarely black and white, its shades of grey. Yes, you have a point- but being inflexible in your thinking means ultimately it will be you who will suffer. Your response to this situation is an example.

Neither OP nor you know that if she hadn’t saved the money, or if her parents had decided to reward him for something with a free holiday, they wouldn’t have paid for her to go too.

And why does she need a material reward for doing well in her exams? It’s bad enough when parents do this with children and their SATs/GCSEs/A Levels, but for a 26-year-old to expect it for success in her professional exams is just ridiculous. A congratulations card and a celebratory meal out maybe, but anything more seems crazy and infantilising to me.

Of course I’m fucking angry.

my parents watched me work myself to the bone for a year, taking evening and weekend shifts while studying, my hair fell out due to stress! And my brother didn’t even bother to save from his income and gets a free trip. Anyone would be angry.

OP in your eyes it is wrong and there's nothing anyone can say that will change your mind. So why don't you just stop arguing with everyone and crack on with your day. You're clearly never wrong about anything which is why it is so puzzling to me that you have bothered to post and ask the question

That is not a punishment. Punishment would suggest you were somehow getting less than him. You aren't. You have actually got more than him.

He is also not being rewarded for being lazy. He is getting a holiday despite being lazy.

You have opportunities now. You can do better for yourself. You are so incredibly short-sighted, it is unreal.

😂
What’s “ghastly” is that parents made it clear from the “get go” that if they didn’t save they weren’t going.
OP made the choice to work her arse off in 2 jobs, made sacrifices,
and burnt herself out to be able to go while her dosser of a brother has done fuck all and gets to go anyway.
Regardless of what the financial outcome is from her hard work and missed opportunities, her brother gets to go anyway.

Maybe she is £3k better off but given the choice it sounds very much like she too would have preferred to focus on her studies and have fun with friends than do all of the other stuff to save to go away on the holiday.
That is what is “ghastly”

Ummm anyone??? Over 80 percent of people posting are saying they wouldn't be

Love this response. This one's a true spoilt brat! She will be going "No contact" because of the emotional damage her parents have caused her......

Tell them to fuck their holiday then. It’s going to be miserable anyway. Honestly what other responses are you looking for?

For everyone’s sake op, say you won’t be joining them on the holiday.

Otherwise I suspect this holiday may result in bloodshed. Not yours.

I did NOT expect the trip. That’s why I saved for it!

however they choose to treat me is their choice. I worked hard for these exams because I wanted to. However, I do absolutely know (from the pattern of treatment) that had I not saved and not passed, I would have been told I was staying home.

I was incredibly surprised and happy when they said they’d not expect me to pay - what pissed me off is that my brother just came out and said he’d not bothered to save and they acted like that was fine.

Why should I be deprived?😂