Family holiday, my parents gifted to me and are now saying my brother doesn’t have to pay

[FamilyHolidayTroubles]

My adult brother and I are going on a trip with my parents. It was said from the start that we had to pay for ourselves, and every month I’ve been putting aside a certain amount to make sure that I had my share covered, and all of my spending money for the trip.

I recently passed some very important professional exams, so my parents said they’d pay for my share of the trip - essentially gifting me my saved money back.

They’ve now said though that it would be unfair if my brother had to pay. Turns out he told my mum the other week that he’s not saved any money and wouldn’t be able to afford to go. AIBU to think this is a bit unfair? We’ve had over a year to save, and if he didn’t bother surely that’s his problem, not mine?

How are you being treated differently? Your parents are paying for you and your brother to go on holiday with them.

If they were going to treat you differently, they would pay for one and not the other!

I suspect they are saying it’s because you worked your butt off but really it’s just to make it fair. I couldn’t give one child a free trip and not the other.?

And that issue is none of your business at the end of the day. Your parents can do what they like with their money, just like you can with yours.

Put your £3000 into a high interest rate account or buy premium bonds or whatever. It will be useful for something better than an overpriced daily coffee and other little useless things down the line. And it's taught you you can forego a lot of daily 'luxuries' that really aren't worth it and save. Meanwhile, your brother has nothing to show for himself and that will come back to bite him in the behind down the line.

They are rewarding you, but pitying your brother. I know which sibling I’d rather be.

Congratulations on passing the SQE, I’m 8 years PQE and don’t think I’d stand a chance with it from what I’ve heard!

But you have a free holiday AND the lump sum that you saved up for it?

win win

Did you mention you and your brother were both adults?

You wanted to go on a trip with your parents so much that you worked two jobs and burnt yourself out and chose to forgo spending time with friends. Why?

Wait so he doesn't pay the same amount of rent as you I'm guessing if the tips don't cover it one week?

You don’t old enough to have passed professional exams. You sound like a whining 7 year old because their sibling got a toy at the shop as well.

You are acting like you are fucking 5 years old. Completely ridiculous. You want your brother to be left out to teach him a lesson even though it does not impact you at all. You're being gifted a free holiday and are still stamping your foot. I hope your parents cancel for both of you ungrateful little shits and go alone.

How does him not having to pay actually affect you though?
Would you rather he didn’t come?

I totally understand where you are coming from and your parents idea that having paid for one they are paying for you both.
has he even saved spends to go on the holiday or is he expecting your parents to pay this over too?
he sounds like a freeloader and I’d be making sure he knew it, it doesn’t seem fair when they’ve said you’ve got the trip because of hard work.
treat yourself with the money you’ve saved to something you’ve always fancied having or doing and make sure he knows that having 3 grand to spend as you like is fantastic, and he’d also have that if he’d bothered to save.

It isn’t fair but it doesn’t sound like it is going to change so you can either accept it, go on the holiday and make the effort to appreciate your parents paying for you, ask them to ask your brother not to go ( but suspect that will have a huge fall out in a negative way) Going forward I would be making plans to move out and distance yourself from their relationship, it is highly unlikely to change and will only end with you being more and more frustrated.

Yep - you don't understand what a gift is.

It's not a gift because they're proud. It's a gift to be 'fair' since they've decided to cover your brother's trip costs.

Being brutally honest, they know they've screwed up enabling your brother, but they still want your brother on the holiday, too. And they know he won't come if they don't pay for it. So they're going to pay for it.

And because they're going to pay for him to come, they realised they have to pay for you, too, to 'make it fair'.

They've just said it was to celebrate you passing your exams I suspect.

How does this affect you 🤔

But you haven’t paid for the bloody holiday! You still have it in savings!

And that is unfair.

‘Wah wah wah it’s not faaiiirr’

Have you heard yourself?

3 years you say? Professional qualifications?

Yet here you are, whining like a spoiled 10 year old because you both get a free trip instead of just you?

I think the relevant point here is what would have happened had they not gifted the holiday to OP and DB had not saved his share. Would they still have expected OP to pay ?

And three grand is not enough to buy a house. I’m not going to pay someone else’s mortgage.

Yes, they would have.

If you are 26 then your parents are hardly ageing!
You clearly think your parents are being unfair at the moment and are not happy with them.
You should concentrate on your own life.
Not your parents, not your brother.

Don’t go then.
Sit at home, wallowing in self pity.
You have the money you saved yourself which you can now use for something that will last a lot longer than a holiday.