Page 5 | Currently in Turkey, met a guy…

BatchCookBabe · 29/08/2025 21:50

Lksjoan · 29/08/2025 21:49

So many stereotypes on this thread.
My friend met a Turkish man on holiday 30 years ago. They got married, had two children and now live happily together spending time between the UK and Turkey, as they are both retired. He is a decent, hard working man who had no agenda other than falling for my friend.

Well, that 1 in a thousand is bound to appear now and again.

Toddlerteaplease · 29/08/2025 21:50

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 29/08/2025 21:20

I don't want to derail this thread but there's nothing charming about a guy asking your parents for permission to take you out

I agree it would give me the ick. You are not a child being asked out to play. 🤮 He’s not the love of your life. You’ve met him once.

Bunny44 · 29/08/2025 21:50

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:11

And I know they say ‘people come along when you least expect it’ but I never ever thought this would happen to me.

im 29, British, recently I came out of a long term relationship and I am currently on holiday with my family.

I’ve met a lovely Turkish man whilst here. Completely unexpectedly, he was working on one of the tours we went on 4 days ago.

I know it sounds silly and cliche, but as soon as I saw him it’s like I just knew I needed to get to know him. We didn’t speak much on the trip itself since he was obviously busy working - but after when he was showing us the photos he’d taken, we swapped numbers and have been chatting ever since.

He has asked to take me for dinner tomorrow evening (locally in the resort town we are staying in) my mum is saying go for it, but my dad seems to have reservations and is telling me not to be so stupid and naive..

This man hasn’t shown me any red flags or given me reason to distrust him.

Im kind of in the mindset that I’m here on holiday, it’s probably not going to progress.. so let’s see what happens?

has anybody else ever been in this situation, meeting a guy abroad / getting to know somebody from a different country?

I know there are huge complex loopholes and issues IF we did get to know each other more and develop a relationship - due to distance etc.

would love to know thoughts please, as I’m really in two minds.

Thank you ☺️

Yes I met a guy in Latin America..we stayed in touch and he promised me the world and that he wanted to get married, have kids etc. we begun a long distance relationship and then he came with me to the UK. Found out he had cheated on me with his ex at the same time that I found out I was pregnant. He hated the UK anyway and didn't adapt. He went back to her. They got married...

My little boy is lovely but not what I had envisaged! Thing is he did have economic motivations.

I know many better stories but just letting you know mine. I'd say just don't rush into anything and actions speak far louder than words.

Original poster

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:50

@meganorksI get what you mean.

I can’t really put my finger on why I felt like I needed to get to know him when I saw him. It was just an instant gut feeling and attraction, but I’m not naive to the fact that problems can and do occur in situations like this.

Ive seen plenty of horror stories, but also seen first hand plenty of lovely happily ever after.

I am not skipping ahead to that - in this situation - whatsoever but I’m just curious as to how and why people come up with the responses that they do. Some are pro and some are so heavily against and this is why I was curious ☺️

There is no right or wrong answer to this in my opinion, I am just asking for peoples thoughts. I’m going to sleep on it and decide tomorrow.

OP posts:

Neemie · 29/08/2025 21:50

So long as you are doing it just for fun then it is fine. Just bear in mind that it is very common for Turkish men to target women from the UK. I’m sure they aren’t adverse to the free sex but I think the main motivation is money and visas.

Froggy623 · 29/08/2025 21:51

OP do it for the plot!
Life’s too short. Just stay level headed.

B1anche · 29/08/2025 21:51

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:35

Thanks all for your comments so far! Really helpful :)

I am going to think about it overnight and let him know tomorrow.

Just out of interest, as this is all new to me… is there ever a time things like this COULD work out and become something serious? has anybody ever had this experience? All I seem to be seeing is that I shouldn’t trust him and he could have multiple other girls on the scene etc.

Again, not doubting this could be the case so I’m not disagreeing, but just curious.

But you also said "I’ve got friends that have met the love of their lived abroad, married with children and lovely happy lives - so I know it CAN happen."

So why are you asking us if it could work out when you have previously said that you have friends who have had successful relationships in these circumstances? 🤷‍♀️

polkadothorse · 29/08/2025 21:51

Is his name Mustapha Passport?

Bunny44 · 29/08/2025 21:51

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:50

@meganorksI get what you mean.

I can’t really put my finger on why I felt like I needed to get to know him when I saw him. It was just an instant gut feeling and attraction, but I’m not naive to the fact that problems can and do occur in situations like this.

Ive seen plenty of horror stories, but also seen first hand plenty of lovely happily ever after.

I am not skipping ahead to that - in this situation - whatsoever but I’m just curious as to how and why people come up with the responses that they do. Some are pro and some are so heavily against and this is why I was curious ☺️

There is no right or wrong answer to this in my opinion, I am just asking for peoples thoughts. I’m going to sleep on it and decide tomorrow.

I felt like that with my ex too. Turned out he has played a significant role in my life but not the one I had in mind!

My ex seemed so sweet and innocent but he was actually a narcissist. I literally couldn't have known.

VickyEadieofThigh · 29/08/2025 21:52

Did we ever hear again from the woman who was going to send money to a bloke she met in Tunisia?

BatchCookBabe · 29/08/2025 21:52

Neemie · 29/08/2025 21:50

So long as you are doing it just for fun then it is fine. Just bear in mind that it is very common for Turkish men to target women from the UK. I’m sure they aren’t adverse to the free sex but I think the main motivation is money and visas.

This. ^

A pp talked about 'soooo many stereotypes,' but the thing is, stereotypes all come from somewhere, and for good reason.

Digdongdoo · 29/08/2025 21:52

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:50

@meganorksI get what you mean.

I can’t really put my finger on why I felt like I needed to get to know him when I saw him. It was just an instant gut feeling and attraction, but I’m not naive to the fact that problems can and do occur in situations like this.

Ive seen plenty of horror stories, but also seen first hand plenty of lovely happily ever after.

I am not skipping ahead to that - in this situation - whatsoever but I’m just curious as to how and why people come up with the responses that they do. Some are pro and some are so heavily against and this is why I was curious ☺️

There is no right or wrong answer to this in my opinion, I am just asking for peoples thoughts. I’m going to sleep on it and decide tomorrow.

You just fancy him. Which is fine but you need to chill out.

polkadothorse · 29/08/2025 21:52

You might get a Take a Break story out of it.

GladAllOver · 29/08/2025 21:52

OP You do sound like you'd like something to come from this. If so his job is half done already.

Oddsocksanduglyshoes · 29/08/2025 21:53

ZenNudist · 29/08/2025 21:14

Happy Friday

So don't sleep with him or give him money.

What if she wants to sleep with him??

JollyGreenSleeves · 29/08/2025 21:55

Is he Muslim? What’s your religion?

Original poster

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:55

GladAllOver · 29/08/2025 21:52

OP You do sound like you'd like something to come from this. If so his job is half done already.

No not at all.. I didn’t come here looking for any kind of relationship. I’ve been enjoying being single to be honest!

The reason I started this thread is for opinions. I know there are risks and stereotypes but also I know there can be good things that come from chance meetings / meeting people at times you didn’t expect to!

I would not ever rush into anything and I am not silly in that respect. I’m just asking as I am genuinely interested in people’s thoughts.

OP posts:

Original poster

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:56

JollyGreenSleeves · 29/08/2025 21:55

Is he Muslim? What’s your religion?

I don’t know any of this information just yet, we only just met.

OP posts:

ASimpleLampoon · 29/08/2025 21:56

@theoneortwo honestly have fun but don't bother keeping in touch. Our immigration system is horrible to go through. I met my DH before the current spouse visa rules came in (having to earn 29,000 etc,_,but have seen so many couples completely fucked over by them.

AngelofIslington · 29/08/2025 21:57

Theres no harm in going for dinner, i wouldn’t expect it to progress further but and it’s a big but 2 of my closest friends are married to men they met on foreign holidays when we were younger.
One to a Spanish guy and she lives over there.
One to a Turkish guy who moved over here.
Both of these friends have been happily married for more than 25 years so in my small group of friends the odds of it working are higher than it not.

Original poster

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:58

ASimpleLampoon · 29/08/2025 21:56

@theoneortwo honestly have fun but don't bother keeping in touch. Our immigration system is horrible to go through. I met my DH before the current spouse visa rules came in (having to earn 29,000 etc,_,but have seen so many couples completely fucked over by them.

Thank you! I am so glad you were able to move before the 29k salary threshold came into play.

one of my close friends is currently going through the immigration process with her partner, he’s Moroccan. I can see how heartbreaking and time consuming it is.

OP posts:

Bunny44 · 29/08/2025 21:58

PrissyGalore · 29/08/2025 21:32

Jeez-not every foreigner wants a British passport! I met a Greek guy on holiday over 30 years ago-we had a passionate fling, even visiting each other before it fizzled out. If you’re happy for it to be a holiday dalliance with some nice memories go for it-sometimes holiday romances do work out, but don’t do into it with that expectation. Dad is being protective, that’s all.

Yes but some countries many people do really want to move abroad especially if they're not very well off. Turkey is one of them from what I know..I didn't underestimate this part with my ex, but he was very convincing in getting me to believe he was genuine.

Prob nothing wrong in going out for dinner but definitely be suspicious if he starts saying he wants to move to the UK quickly to be with you.

reversegear · 29/08/2025 21:58

No way focus on your family and listen to your dad.

PiggyPigalle · 29/08/2025 21:59

If you want a relationship, don't go for dinner.
I met an female ambulance driver who was telling me about her Turkish boyfriend over there. Started like you OP.

She said he never wants to come here. Instead, she takes stuff over to him that can't be bought there, but not money. Oh and she stays with his family, so they get gifts too.
She showed me him on her phone, he was ridiculously good looking. So what she was doing was working all hours until she had the fare and money for the gifts and off she'd go, until the next cycle.
She was basically working to repeat that cycle. Two or three women doing that and he'd be well supplied.

Franpie · 29/08/2025 21:59

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:28

To be honest I hadn’t perceived him asking my parents their permission in negative light - I didn’t think of it that way but I do understand what you are all saying. Perhaps it’s a sign of deeper rooted control?

Or that you’re just a feeble woman with no autonomy?!?! Ew