Currently in Turkey, met a guy…

[theoneortwo]

And I know they say ‘people come along when you least expect it’ but I never ever thought this would happen to me.

im 29, British, recently I came out of a long term relationship and I am currently on holiday with my family.

I’ve met a lovely Turkish man whilst here. Completely unexpectedly, he was working on one of the tours we went on 4 days ago.

I know it sounds silly and cliche, but as soon as I saw him it’s like I just knew I needed to get to know him. We didn’t speak much on the trip itself since he was obviously busy working - but after when he was showing us the photos he’d taken, we swapped numbers and have been chatting ever since.

He has asked to take me for dinner tomorrow evening (locally in the resort town we are staying in) my mum is saying go for it, but my dad seems to have reservations and is telling me not to be so stupid and naive..

This man hasn’t shown me any red flags or given me reason to distrust him.

Im kind of in the mindset that I’m here on holiday, it’s probably not going to progress.. so let’s see what happens?

has anybody else ever been in this situation, meeting a guy abroad / getting to know somebody from a different country?

I know there are huge complex loopholes and issues IF we did get to know each other more and develop a relationship - due to distance etc.

would love to know thoughts please, as I’m really in two minds.

Thank you ☺️

What about him did you get attracted to?

I suspect you’ll be on a Channel 5 series in a couple of years having lost your life savings sobbing to Kym Marsh/Stacey Dooley/Davina ‘but he said her loved me’

No harm in having dinner or a shag if you want. However the fact that you're in two minds maybe saying no might be the best thing for the frame of mind you're in now.

I do get your concern but what about the millions of couples that met in similar circumstances and made it work?

As I said, I’m not at all into him like that at the moment having only met the guy a few days ago (!!) but just curious.

You’ll be on the cover of Take a Break next year…I’d listen to your dad.

Oh my god - he's asking her to dinner

Of course holiday romances with tour guides can be a cliche, but you know nothing about him.

This reminds me of many, many similar stories that I've read in my mum's Take A Break magazine....

Ick. 🤮

Yes, I met someone on holiday. He was also on holiday but going in the opposite direction. We swapped email addresses and have been married for 20 years.

It's only dinner. Go and enjoy his company but as he is a tour guide, be wary of reading too much into it.

(Take enough money to pay for your own dinner and a taxi home of you need to leave but I would say that to everyone - holiday or not)

What’s wrong with sleeping with holiday flings as long as you practice safe sex (and no oral/ anal)?

The fact you are skipping ahead mentally to the problems of international relationships … that’s an issue.

Shag him if you want but don’t get any romantic/ long-term notions unless this dude already has an EU or UK passport and is a city fella from a well-to-do family.

Millions?

How old is he?

I’m with team dad I’m afraid.

I suspect if he is working on the tour, he probably has form on this and this isn't his first 'date' with someone traveling with the company. I'm surprised the tour company doesn't have a policy against this.

I really wouldn't be building any castles in the air on this one, which it seems like you are!

Also, it is a red flag to be asking your parents permission (not romantic or chivalrous as you appear to be viewing it, but paternalistic as it seems to be signalling that you cannot make these decisions for yourself)

Listen to your dad.

A few years ago, we went on holiday to Turkey. There was a young Turkish man with a boat who would take tourists out to lovely spots to swim, quiet coves etc. The first few times he was with an English woman, they had met when she was on holiday. She was going back to Northampton and he was going to join her when she sent money.
The next time we went he had another English woman with him. You know the story. I sometimes wonder what happened with Beth in Northampton.

Have you never seen Shirley Valentine?

Yep, I’d say listen to dad on this one. You’re not looking to sleep with him, you think he’ll just want a nice dinner and then never see you again??

Was it not a bit of a turn off that he asked your parents for permission to take you out?

Like you are currently a possession of your parents that he is looking to borrow for whatever reason. That's the red flag surely?

Oh for fucks sake!! Really??

Go for dinner, have fun, be safe and then go home and forget him!

This is not your prince charming! This is not your happy ever after!

This is a chance to have a quick, fun fumble in the sun and then you leave it there, in the sun, a happy memory to look back on!!

GROW UP!!

OP is only 29

To be honest I hadn’t perceived him asking my parents their permission in negative light - I didn’t think of it that way but I do understand what you are all saying. Perhaps it’s a sign of deeper rooted control?

This man hasn’t shown me any red flags or given me reason to distrust him.

considering you’ve only known him a few days it’s unlikely you will yet!

Go! It's one night, have fun, just don't think it will last because it won't.

I think he must do this a lot. Be careful if you decide to have fun with him.