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AIBU?

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Original poster

Currently in Turkey, met a guy…

838 replies

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:11

And I know they say ‘people come along when you least expect it’ but I never ever thought this would happen to me.

im 29, British, recently I came out of a long term relationship and I am currently on holiday with my family.

I’ve met a lovely Turkish man whilst here. Completely unexpectedly, he was working on one of the tours we went on 4 days ago.

I know it sounds silly and cliche, but as soon as I saw him it’s like I just knew I needed to get to know him. We didn’t speak much on the trip itself since he was obviously busy working - but after when he was showing us the photos he’d taken, we swapped numbers and have been chatting ever since.

He has asked to take me for dinner tomorrow evening (locally in the resort town we are staying in) my mum is saying go for it, but my dad seems to have reservations and is telling me not to be so stupid and naive..

This man hasn’t shown me any red flags or given me reason to distrust him.

Im kind of in the mindset that I’m here on holiday, it’s probably not going to progress.. so let’s see what happens?

has anybody else ever been in this situation, meeting a guy abroad / getting to know somebody from a different country?

I know there are huge complex loopholes and issues IF we did get to know each other more and develop a relationship - due to distance etc.

would love to know thoughts please, as I’m really in two minds.

Thank you ☺️

OP posts:
PiggyPigalle · 29/08/2025 21:30

ZenNudist · 29/08/2025 21:14

Happy Friday

So don't sleep with him or give him money.

They often request money when the tourist is back home. Sometimes long after.
There will be one or two genuine ones I suppose. Hope he's one of the two.

Digdongdoo · 29/08/2025 21:30

There's no harm on going on a date if you think you'll have fun.
But don't kid yourself that there's anything more there. It's a cliche for a reason.
Sure people meet their spouses abroad, I did. But I lived there. I wasn't 4 days into a holiday with my mum.

LochKatrine · 29/08/2025 21:30

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:28

To be honest I hadn’t perceived him asking my parents their permission in negative light - I didn’t think of it that way but I do understand what you are all saying. Perhaps it’s a sign of deeper rooted control?

It's because he thinks you can't give consent.
Anyway, no harm in a meal, have fun if you want to. Just be wary.

Queenofheart · 29/08/2025 21:30

AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti · 29/08/2025 21:26

Have you never seen Shirley Valentine?

Or the film not without my daughter ?

PrissyGalore · 29/08/2025 21:32

Jeez-not every foreigner wants a British passport! I met a Greek guy on holiday over 30 years ago-we had a passionate fling, even visiting each other before it fizzled out. If you’re happy for it to be a holiday dalliance with some nice memories go for it-sometimes holiday romances do work out, but don’t do into it with that expectation. Dad is being protective, that’s all.

TY78910 · 29/08/2025 21:32

Please watch 90 day fiancé 😂

MsTamborineMan · 29/08/2025 21:32

If you want a flirt or a holiday fling then go for it

If your expecting this man to be the love of your life, and your going to be devastated when you find out he does this every 2 weeks then absolutely not.

DareMe · 29/08/2025 21:32

anonymous98 · 29/08/2025 21:27

OP is only 29

Show quote history

I know. I read that myself. I’m asking how old the guy is, hence why I said ‘he’.

LlynTegid · 29/08/2025 21:32

You are this week's interest for him, I bet nothing else.

LadyLolaRuben · 29/08/2025 21:33

Turkish men are notorious for this. Have dinner but thats it. Don't give him any money, a kidney or a visa.

He could be lovely. I know someone who ended up in debt and battered black and blue whilst having a 20 year relationship with a Turkish man. She saw him once per year when she flew out for two weeks to see him. Rest of time she was on phone to him day and night paying for all the calls and sending him money. Meanwhile he had married and had kids. Last visit she had with him resulted in a beating, when she didnt bring him the shopping he asked for from UK - aftershave etc. Hotel staff had to break into room to rescue her.

Thingyfanding · 29/08/2025 21:33

Iamfree · 29/08/2025 21:14

He wants a British passport or a shag, or if it continues he will turn into a religious mysoginistic pig. Please let us know in the next few months

Sorry to say but I have to agree with this

Charabanc · 29/08/2025 21:35

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:28

To be honest I hadn’t perceived him asking my parents their permission in negative light - I didn’t think of it that way but I do understand what you are all saying. Perhaps it’s a sign of deeper rooted control?

"Oh look at me, I am humble believable man, I just want to treat your daughter like a princess and get British citizenship"

FiddlefigOnTheRoof · 29/08/2025 21:35

Seen it happen before, also with a tour guide. Passport obtained, had children - he scarpered.

Original poster
theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:35

Thanks all for your comments so far! Really helpful :)

I am going to think about it overnight and let him know tomorrow.

Just out of interest, as this is all new to me… is there ever a time things like this COULD work out and become something serious? has anybody ever had this experience? All I seem to be seeing is that I shouldn’t trust him and he could have multiple other girls on the scene etc.

Again, not doubting this could be the case so I’m not disagreeing, but just curious.

OP posts:
Jorge14 · 29/08/2025 21:35

i think it’s prob not genuine to be honest, most likely about money

DeeKitch · 29/08/2025 21:35

Don’t go !

Swiftie1878 · 29/08/2025 21:35

OMG. Get a grip.

Enjoy dinner, but recognise it’s just a holiday flirtation.

meganorks · 29/08/2025 21:36

You sound like you've completely lost your head already. You met a couple of days ago, hes asked you to dinner and you think you've met the love of your life!

Yet also, simultaneously, not interested in a quick shag or a serious relationship where there would visas/moving involved. So what are you considering?!

Charabanc · 29/08/2025 21:37

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:35

Thanks all for your comments so far! Really helpful :)

I am going to think about it overnight and let him know tomorrow.

Just out of interest, as this is all new to me… is there ever a time things like this COULD work out and become something serious? has anybody ever had this experience? All I seem to be seeing is that I shouldn’t trust him and he could have multiple other girls on the scene etc.

Again, not doubting this could be the case so I’m not disagreeing, but just curious.

Oh come off it. Time for some reals. They try it on with every woman they think can get them out of there.

Tagyoureit · 29/08/2025 21:37

"is there ever a time things like this COULD work out and become something serious?"

No!!

Original poster
theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:37

meganorks · 29/08/2025 21:36

You sound like you've completely lost your head already. You met a couple of days ago, hes asked you to dinner and you think you've met the love of your life!

Yet also, simultaneously, not interested in a quick shag or a serious relationship where there would visas/moving involved. So what are you considering?!

I’ve not at all said that I’m considering anything! I’ve said above I’ve not even said yes to dinner yet..

I am just genuinely interested in the stories and experiences that others have had. That’s all.

OP posts:
Marylou2 · 29/08/2025 21:37

PrissyGalore · 29/08/2025 21:32

Jeez-not every foreigner wants a British passport! I met a Greek guy on holiday over 30 years ago-we had a passionate fling, even visiting each other before it fizzled out. If you’re happy for it to be a holiday dalliance with some nice memories go for it-sometimes holiday romances do work out, but don’t do into it with that expectation. Dad is being protective, that’s all.

Greece is completely different. An EU country without so many cultural differences. Greek men are probably wary of British women looking for EU passports these days.

bugalugs45 · 29/08/2025 21:38

It’s dinner , He’s not proposing marriage ( yet ) .
ypu have nothing to lose , make sure parents know where you are & you have enough money to get home if necessary . I’d go for it !

MyCoralHedgehog · 29/08/2025 21:38

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:35

Thanks all for your comments so far! Really helpful :)

I am going to think about it overnight and let him know tomorrow.

Just out of interest, as this is all new to me… is there ever a time things like this COULD work out and become something serious? has anybody ever had this experience? All I seem to be seeing is that I shouldn’t trust him and he could have multiple other girls on the scene etc.

Again, not doubting this could be the case so I’m not disagreeing, but just curious.

You could just go for a meal but if you are looking for a relationship then it’s very unlikely

Meredusoleil · 29/08/2025 21:38

Isn't there a Ch5 series based on this? Can't remember what it was called.

Anyway, fwiw when I was still in my late 20s I met an older English guy whilst on holiday with a girlfriend. I had recently broken up with my boyfriend so got together with him on the rebound. He said he was separated and lived abroad whilst his wife lived in the UK.

Anyway, all was fine until we decided to stay in touch upon my return home. I even flew out to stay with him once more afterwards, a few months after we had first met. I didn't feel right on the flight out but ignored the warning voice in my head.

In the end, I found out he was not only still married, but the place abroad belonged to both of them and he was basically just cheating on her with me!

I felt so stupid and used that I had believed those lies 😬

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