Currently in Turkey, met a guy…

[theoneortwo]

And I know they say ‘people come along when you least expect it’ but I never ever thought this would happen to me.

im 29, British, recently I came out of a long term relationship and I am currently on holiday with my family.

I’ve met a lovely Turkish man whilst here. Completely unexpectedly, he was working on one of the tours we went on 4 days ago.

I know it sounds silly and cliche, but as soon as I saw him it’s like I just knew I needed to get to know him. We didn’t speak much on the trip itself since he was obviously busy working - but after when he was showing us the photos he’d taken, we swapped numbers and have been chatting ever since.

He has asked to take me for dinner tomorrow evening (locally in the resort town we are staying in) my mum is saying go for it, but my dad seems to have reservations and is telling me not to be so stupid and naive..

This man hasn’t shown me any red flags or given me reason to distrust him.

Im kind of in the mindset that I’m here on holiday, it’s probably not going to progress.. so let’s see what happens?

has anybody else ever been in this situation, meeting a guy abroad / getting to know somebody from a different country?

I know there are huge complex loopholes and issues IF we did get to know each other more and develop a relationship - due to distance etc.

would love to know thoughts please, as I’m really in two minds.

Thank you ☺️

If he's so great and respectful how agreed

Additionally...he asked their permission and your dad said No.... if he's so respectful why is he still cracking on with you....

I don't know how you even want to square that circle.

Fine, as long as you're not expecting anything serious.

My parents met in Turkey (both professionals). My mother is British and my father is Turkish. Had me, followed by very, very acrominous divorce and my dad stalking us.

Turkey has a serious misogyny problem.

*acrimonious

Why are you letting your mind runaway with this. You do t know this guy and haven’t been out on a date. I f you fancy a night out, do it, it’s only dinner and you might not be that bothered about him after a few hours. Or you could hang out with him until you head home which could be fun. But really it’s nothing more than this.

Shirley

Get out now im seperated from mine after 25 yrs of abuse , affairs control seperated for 3 yr and still trying to control me glad we moved to uk , was hell when kids younger for fear he took them abroad and stayed there mind think my mil would of gave him hell and make him bring them back there 25 and 20 and really don't like him he's a lier , i was 27 savy when i met him was good for first couple of year then went down hill still getting councelling

No. No no no no no no

Don’t do it.

It’s starts with dinner then ends with a scam marriage and you taking tramadol tablets to help him and ending up in Turkish prison.

have you not seen Bridget Jones 2 (kind of) and the real life Laura Plummer.

also sex tourism is a thing and your didn’t go away with you mum and dad for a ONS so just leave it!

anyway go for it
you are young

Yeah, I've twice had colleagues who started going on holiday abroad to the same place several times a year. Call me slow, but it took me a while to work out there was a guy involved. In both cases the colleague was materially much better off than the guy they were spending time with. However, both of them were also pretty hard-headed so it fizzled out after a while. Honestly OP, these people are predators. I travel on my own a lot, and they see a lone woman on holiday as there for the picking. I've had more offers than I can recall.

Treat it as a bit of fun, if you want, but it's no more than that.

I don’t understand why you’re thinking of the future and comparing this to your friends situations. Have dinner with him and enjoy but stop planning beyond that!

Friend of mine met her husband in Tunisia, happily married over 20yrs now. It can happen, but it
certainly wasn’t an easy journey. I would steer clear.

He asked your parent’s permission, your Dad said no - so if the man still pursues you, this shows his lack of respect for your Dad, and the pointlessness of him asking their permission.

Listen to dad.

Wow, do you only think in stereotypes?

You haven’t told us why you like him yet. You said as soon as you saw him you knew you needed to get to know him. What about him made you think so?

I agree with others who say be careful with money.

I cannot imagine running my potential holidays shags past my mum and dad, however.

Was also my first thought!

Go for it! Not as if this kind of thing happens all the time..what could possibly go wrong..?

I married a guy on a tourist visa who was in my home country - 28 years ago. Still happily married so it does happen.

You might not have said yes to dinner, but you are on here talking about complexities of long distance/cross cultural relationships, but you know people's it's worked for etc. etc. Saying as soon as you saw him you knew you had to get to know him etc. That's what I mean by it sounds like you've lost your head.

If it was me and I was single and liked him I'd probably go for dinner, maybe have a fling and leave it at that. But you aren't interested in a fling, so.....?

Some strange comments on here.

It’s mainly middle aged and elderly ladies that are more at risk of the love-rat holiday romance scams for money and a passport.

@theoneortwo if you want to go for dinner with him, then go for dinner! Just make sure you’re safe and meet him in a well-lit busy area. Don’t get in transport with him alone. You’re 29, not 9, you can make your own decisions.

He’ll do this weekly with the tourists so if you’re happy to be the next in his long line of girls then crack on, and practice safe sex!

Just like my friend who had a bloke in turkey hit on her when she was with me

Luckily she saw through it

So many stereotypes on this thread.
My friend met a Turkish man on holiday 30 years ago. They got married, had two children and now live happily together spending time between the UK and Turkey, as they are both retired. He is a decent, hard working man who had no agenda other than falling for my friend.

99.99% chance he will scam you/use you. You can't really think it's real love? Get your head out of the clouds!