Currently in Turkey, met a guy…

[theoneortwo]

And I know they say ‘people come along when you least expect it’ but I never ever thought this would happen to me.

im 29, British, recently I came out of a long term relationship and I am currently on holiday with my family.

I’ve met a lovely Turkish man whilst here. Completely unexpectedly, he was working on one of the tours we went on 4 days ago.

I know it sounds silly and cliche, but as soon as I saw him it’s like I just knew I needed to get to know him. We didn’t speak much on the trip itself since he was obviously busy working - but after when he was showing us the photos he’d taken, we swapped numbers and have been chatting ever since.

He has asked to take me for dinner tomorrow evening (locally in the resort town we are staying in) my mum is saying go for it, but my dad seems to have reservations and is telling me not to be so stupid and naive..

This man hasn’t shown me any red flags or given me reason to distrust him.

Im kind of in the mindset that I’m here on holiday, it’s probably not going to progress.. so let’s see what happens?

has anybody else ever been in this situation, meeting a guy abroad / getting to know somebody from a different country?

I know there are huge complex loopholes and issues IF we did get to know each other more and develop a relationship - due to distance etc.

would love to know thoughts please, as I’m really in two minds.

Thank you ☺️

Very surprised, but incredibly heartened at the update. Good for you OP and well done!
Sometimes you have to take a calculated risk and yours paid off in spades :-)

To all the racists on this thread, a colleague of mine (Germany, female) went to Bulgaria on holiday when she was 16 and Bulgaria was still behind the iron curtain.
She met someone, they fell in love and, although it was VERY difficult at the time, her family supported her in getting him to Germany.
They have been very happily married for over 40 years.

Sure.

This.

I don't really believe the thread tbh, but a lot of people fell over themselves to spout off all their pet prejudices about Turkey, Islam, furriners....

They are now feeling tricked? Tricked into being a bigot, lol?

And if your husband said no? You were willing for your daughter to miss out on love and marriage and a life together? Why does you husband get to make that decision? I assume you daughter is an adult of sound mind? What a ridiculous concept

Are you okay?

It’s because he’s Turkish. Were he Norwegian or French, people would be telling the OP to go for it.

its not attention seeking
it is a warning to posters to behave better

WTAF. Try considerably harder next time, OP.

A warning?

Tbf, OP, I know two women who met their husbands in much the same way you have - both men were working in hospitality and met when they were on holiday in Turkey. They've both been married for coming up to 30 years and have adult children.

One of them had a degree obtained in Turkey but couldn't work for a UK company in a professional capacity because his degree wasn't recognised here so that might he something to bear in mind.

But I would caution anyone against considering their relationship a success story after only 3 years. A three year relationship which was conducted long distance for some time and has resulted in marriage and 3 children still isn't a success story. It's still very early days and very quickly done.

I hope it works out for you but you're not really there yet to be claiming it worked out for you.

👏🏼

Isn't it? It's feudal, when women were chattels and the possession of their father, than their husband.

Oh come on op
Are you a nieve teenager or a grown sensible woman

No, deluded OP is riding high on some kind of writing flop.

I think a fiction AMA might be quite challenging for the gentleman who started this thread though.

there was never any distress

It would be another lady for him : next week ! Don't bother !

I'm British Turkish...it would have been meant as a thoughtful and respectful gesture. Turkish people generally have a lot of respect for parents and elders.

Look have fun, take it slowly and don't take everything he says at face value. I know we shouldn't generalise/stereotype but I will anyway. In my experience (ive never dated a turkish man myself) turkish men are prone to being jealous, possessive, demanding, be mummy's boys and some won't have the same level of respect for English women as they do for turkish women. On the plus side, they can be very romantic, attentive, affectionate, chivalrous, great with kids and IF serious about you....loyal. Also they are more likely to favour traditional gender roles (ie you cook and clean, he pays for everything and lifts heavy things). On that note, my advice is definitely let him pay for everything on any date...its expected and he'll prefer it (unless he is trying to scam you.)

Just have fun on your date but keep your wits about you. If he starts declaring true love early doors (another turkish man trait) then be cool and cynical otherwise if you start swooning he could well take advantage. If you are more reserved then his true feelings will emerge I.e. he'll move on to someone else or he'll remain interested if he really likes you.

UPDATE...just seen the plot twist...brilliant OP! Really pleased to hear it worked out. Very interesting to see all the knee jerk reactions on here and hopefully it'll make people think. Although some people are choosing to still be cynical...perhaps to justify their initial response.

Sounds like a lovely life you've made together, very happy for you.

Was I right about any of those character traits by the way?!

Still waiting for the proof you have of me being a racist.

To be fair, romance holiday scammers are not usually Norwegian, or French. Unless you have other evidence?

It’s clearly riled you up. It wasn’t even the intention of my post.

I think so too.

You should stop accusing people here of racism and narrow mindness. You wrote it purposely to sound vulnerable and as if it is typical holiday romance, possibly scam.

And what's worse is that people paint it as the most romantic and honourable thing .

In a strange way, op has set herself up as the racist one because of the assumptions she makes about how people would react to the thread. And the way in which the thread is set up to elicit those exact responses (even if OP didn't intend this it is incredibly revealing).