To ask for pithy but classy comeback for SIL?

[YoYoYoYoSigh]

I've always struggled with my weight. I'm currently 8.5 stone down, up from 11 stone down 12 months ago 😬.

My not-darling-SIL is obsessed with weight and body image small talk.

I hardly see her, but there's a family event soon and I know one of the first things she'll mention is some sort of snide comment on how well I look. To clarify, she's not the type to give a compliment, only a back handed compliment. She'll often do that disengenous shit where she disparages herself (god, I'm just feeling such a heifer atm) when she knows that my comparative are much worse. It's all done to make me feel shit. And it hurts but I'm trying to change my mindset to she her as tedious.

So she'll definitely mention my/her weight when we meet to draw attention to my struggles and to unsettle me.

I want to go high and stay classy, but I also want her to subtly know that I know her game.

Is there any approach I can take that won't be inappropriate in a celebration setting.

I'm stronger now thanks menopause (ex people pleaser/ feelings smotherer) but I'm still letting her niggles have power over me. 🥲

I look her in the eye, shake my head and say ‘it must be so hard being you’

I did this once with my mother! She came to visit and my husband and I took bets on how long it would take for her to mention my weight (she made it to 40 mins). When she did we both looked at our watches and started laughing so of course she asked why so I told her! Shut her right up 😆

This ^^ Just be completely literal in your answers. If she gives you a back handed comment just thank her and agree you’ve been feeling wonderful lately. If she goes on about her weight, how she looked etc, give her appropriate advice, on diet, exercise or fashion. Tell her your sorry she feels that way.

Start by walking in with your head up and smile as you chat to people.

I don't mean to be mean, OP but if you're not going to say anything when she repeatedly acts like a a cow to either yourself or others, you shouldn't really be walking away and moaning about her behind her back.

In short, although she's the AH, you've made your bed and covered it with a big fat duvet stuffed full of acceptance.

Either lie in it or speak up.

You've been given good advice here but you've just sat back and let her run rampant unchecked yet again.

I agree with everyone above, Bullies and assholes like your sil get away with it and escalate / feel entitled to comment / become emboldened because no one challenges them. She probably thinks everyone is secretly agreeing with her, not that they all think she's a complete cunt.

She might not have directly called you fat but if she was calling someone smaller than you fat then it was still an insult to you.

I couldn't have not said something. Like PP's have said, you are letting her get away with it.

If she calls herself a heifer you might say: Oh dear you do struggle with body image, don’t you. You’re not looking that bad at all., honestly.

You’re not looking that bad at all., honestly.

😂 I love this. It's the word "that" that is the real killer!