To ask, politely, and seriously, if you are in your 50s, what do you look like naked?

[Dontfuckingsaycheese]

Hi.
I’ll cut to the chase. I’m 55 and single (happily for the last 15 years or so).
This year, following a rather exciting reboot, I decided to try online dating and I have been having a lot of fun. Met a few nice men. No nasty ones 🙂 I have also fallen in love with my body again and have lost over 3 stone so now just over 9.5 stone.
I am amazed at how good this 55 year-old body looks, FROM SOME ANGLES AND IN SOME POSITIONS. I’ve been making a few videos and stills and I can look damn 🔥
However, I am alarmed how I look, mainly from the front, if I lean forward. Everything prunes, falls and elongates, and it’s scary!! I have met a man online who I am absolutely obsessed by. For a few reasons, it’s been a few months and we haven’t met yet. We’re due to meet up next month. He’s seen some pics and videos of me and loved them, but of course, I’ve been able to carefully curate them. I don’t want him to be disappointed in how bits of me look. I feel like I should warn him in some way. I know it shouldn’t matter, and he should like me as a person, but things have been tres flirty and I’m very keen to make it physical 😉 I feel like just explaining I’m aware there’s parts of me that are a bit time-ravaged. He’s a little older than me, so wondering if it’s the same for him… So he’ll understand I mean, and not run for the hills. I’m thinking of explaining this in terms of wanting to feel confident in bed, so it may be that, at times maybe I may wish to wear a top or something…
I’m wondering how others feel, any pearls of wisdom, advice, reassurance, amusing anecdotes to make me feel better… 🤔

Not everyone is like your social circle. I have a friend who was a great grandma before she was 60.

Be careful - loads of men on the apps do this -keep you hanging on for months ramp up all the sex chat and the pics and talk of connection, the will you won't you meet stuff - it's a pyschological trap to make you become obsessed. But if he actually wanted a relationship he would meet you like a shot. My friend is in her 50s and on the apps- she falls for these ones all the time. Most are married, in a relationship, players or drinkers with ED issues which mean they are never going to go through with anything. Its just mindfuckery.
Also don't apologise or point out any of your perceived faults- why would you? He either likes you or he doesn't.

Your social circle has nothing to do with the fact there are loads of 55 year olds with teenage grandchildren?

None of my social circle keep chickens, but I believe they exist...

There's always someone who will come along to point out something different.

I was replying to the poster who said the OP could have a grandchild who was a teenager and dating.

OP is 55.

Heaven forbid a 55yo woman should have a bit of fun 🙄
I have a friend who's the same. She's 55, single and has been on Tinder quite a bit this last year getting up to all sorts of scandalous things and enjoying herself.
Why shouldn't she?
Some boring folk on here. And I say that as a boring 50yo with no sex drive!

If you check the ONS I think you will find there are NOT 'loads of 55 years olds' with teenage grandchildren.
The demographics don't show that.

I met MrTaz online - first night we swapped phone numbers and talked til 2 in the morning and we met face to face that weekend. Had a drink the Friday and got chucked out at closing time and then went for Sunday lunch. And we dated from there onward.

if he is actually interested in a proper relationship he will make the effort to meet you.

Flip me, it's exhausting to see that so many women still can't help but disapprove of other women enjoying sex.

After my DH died I found myself dating again at 40, post-baby, post-cesarean, post-6 stone weight loss and with all the accompanying wrinkles and lumps and wobbly bits. I was TERRIFIED. But honestly, I've never had so much a) fun and b) success in the dating world! I had lots of very enjoyable sex, several extremely fun flings (including one with a very handsome 24 year old who pursued me relentlessly!) and ultimately met my lovely now-fiance. The one thing all my experiences had in common was that the people I had sex with genuinely appreciated and loved my body. Grown men aren't looking for teenagers with perfect bodies – and if they are, you wouldn't want to have sex with them anyway.

Have a brilliant time – it did absolute wonders for my confidence and I am a happier, healthier me for having had those experiences (and I've ended up with a gorgeous partner who fancies me like mad, hooray).

@xSideshowAuntSallyXx Just because you've found his LinkedIn profile/have his surname doesn't mean he is a good person who won't use those photos

She doesn’t know these things! She knows nothing about him.

I’ve no problem with any of that. I did that and more for years and it was great!

but the op has a man who she has been sending videos for his wankbank to for months. And he’s got no more interest in actually meeting up.

that’s a hiding to nothing

@peachgreen Flip me, it's exhausting to see that so many women still can't help but disapprove of other women enjoying sex.

I haven’t seen any posts like this.

What I have seen is posts querying the wisdom of sending racy photos and videos to a man you’ve not even met, after months of texting he still ‘can’t’ meet. Because ‘reasons’.

Beat me to it. Exactly that.

I’m so pleased to hear your news @peachgreen. I remember you losing your bloke, it was heartbreaking. I’m delighted you’ve found happiness again.

Cynical or being realistic? Due diligence, finding he's who he says he is, doesn't make him a decent prospect.
Genuine men don't receive free porn from a stranger, with a view to a regular relationship.

If you are in a long term relationship, I bet it didn't start with you sending him porn shots.

But no one is giving out their surname before a first meeting. I don’t even give out my first name. I use a perfectly ordinary first name and that’s fine. I also use a generic admin/office job when asked.

Are you saying without a full name before meeting you wouldn’t proceed with that quick coffee?

No, but it's about the control of a woman, emotionally and physically. You're obsessed with him, he's got you worried about your physicality and how much appeal you have, but he's around 60?
I'm glad you're having fun, and I hope this works out for you ok. Just take care, keep guarded..

Not if I was meeting someone for a quick coffee then no, I wouldn't ask their surname. I wouldn't be giving out any private info or photos either.

If it was someone I was speaking to long distance, or for a longer period of time similar to the Op, for whatever reason then yes, I want their full name and i will check them out. If this wasn't forthcoming then it may stay friendly but less personal, or It would end.

One thing to bear in mind before sharing porn pics.
No man has them on his phone without showing them around.

If that's your prelude to a night at a Travelodge, fine. I don't believe it's the basis to a meaningful relationship.

"Congratulations on your marriage, how did you two meet"?
"Oh, I sent him some crotch shots and video."

That's a conversation that won't be happening.

I'm 53 and the only bit of me that has slid is my boobs. Although as they've never been big, they don't have to mass to slide far, but the top of them is no longer there, so bottom heavy. Apart from that I have abs and firm body, solid arms and frankly happy to wear a bikini.

However:

I run 40km a week (and have for about 30 years)
Lift weights 25 mins 4 x a week and have done so for about 4 years
Pilates 2 x a week ( and have done classes of some sort for about 30 years)

I eat well, I sleep well, I drink a bit (sometimes too much, but not often)

I have exercised all my life, was huge in pregnancy (+3.5 stone) but always had a BMI 0f 21/22

You can improve some stuff with exercise, but it's a lifestyle choice.

Edit: yes I work 30 hours, 2 kids, cook every day. I don't sit down before 9pm... I do however take this piss at work by mumsnetting

She's not having sex with him. She's never even met him!
At this rate, since his absence has run into months, she's not likely too either.

Never get too smug about a partner fancying you like mad either. Someone is stringing women along into sending them pics to show their mates.

I look like shit, saggy boobs cellulite etc. But I'm 58 so to be expected.
I don't care, I'm never having sex again, if I connected with a man it would only ever be a friendship, I think you've been incredibly stupid and naive to get sexual before you've even met, sadly I think that PP are right he's married or taking advantage of you being naive in sending photos, he'd be happy to chat to you if he was decent bloke.
Like a PP I've been around groups of men and how they chat, to realise men are fucking sleaze bags for the most part, if you want to have sex with him go ahead, but take off the rose tinted glasses, and be prepared for a crash to earth when he ghosts you when you've either had sex irl, or you absolutely insist on a meet and he runs out of excuses.

You’d have to be a grandmother in your 30s. It does happen (my own cousin was in her late thirties) but I don’t believe it’s common enough nowadays to really merit a hypothetical situation.

I’m generally quite happy with my body at 54. It’s done the job - I’ve had two lovely DCs. So it looks nothing like my twenties. I’m 11 stone and 5’ 4’. I’d really like to lose a stone to get to a healthier bmi. I’m widowed but was asked out on a date recently by someone I know in a hobby group and I think I’m ready to go for it. I don’t think men expect the perfect body on a 50 something woman 😂

I know you don’t want to say why you haven’t met yet, but why don’t you want to say?

Unless you are dating way younger than your age I wouldn't worry about it.

Personally at 50 and having lost some weight I haven't looked as good or felt as confident in my body since I was about 28 (pre-kids!). I've always done weights and cardio, and have practiced yoga since I turned 40 so I've always had good muscle tone but am now leaner also.

Yes, 55.

So like many other 55 year olds, could well have a teenage grandchild.

You stubbornly refusing to accept it, doesn't change that.