To refuse a boob job after DH said mine are “wrecked” post DC4?

[Hoistraft]

bit of background first. ive just had DC4 about 6 weeks ago. total shock, was on the pill and it failed. tbh DH wasnt exactly over the moon about it, hes been a bit grumpy about the whole thing and weve been snapping at each other more than usual. im knackered, breastfeeding round the clock, house looks like a bomb site and i dont even know what day it is half the time.

so yesterday i was getting changed and he just comes out with “you should think about getting your boobs done, they’re a bit wrecked now after 4 kids”. i laughed it off at first but then he said he was serious and that “it would be good for both of us” if i sorted them. he keeps saying he’s only being honest and that it’s not a big deal these days.

i feel really rubbish now. yes theyre not what they were at 20 but i grew and fed 4 children with them and atm i actually think my body deserves a medal not a surgeon. im exhausted, hormonal and the last thing on my mind is cosmetic surgery. but part of me is wondering if im letting myself go and maybe hes right?

AIBU to flat out refuse or is it selfish to just expect him to accept me as i am now?

My DH wouldn't be walking straight if he dared to even suggest i change my body for his enjoyment. . . . . Agree if he gets a cock enlargement! And give him a map of the female body . . . .

Ignore him. Your body has done something AMAZING 4 times! He should be worshipping you and your body not been a cunt.

i am actually furious for you.

If my partner said anything like that to me he wouldn’t be getting anywhere near them again so he wouldn’t have to deal with how wreaked they are.

I’m struggling to understand how you have 4 DC’s with him? He sounds like a dick.

I think you should mention how a personality transplant on his part would benefit you both! What a twat.

I suppose it depends on how you view "wrecked" doesn't it - wrecked as in no longer fit for purpose, or wrecked as in not looking quite as pretty as before?

Because your boobs clearly aren't "wrecked" when it comes to their primary function, not if you're breast feeding child no. 4!

Prettiness is a secondary consideration. Cancel that, it's 3rd WAY down below being fit, healthy and comfortable.

Say you have given it some thought and have decided against new tits, but since there is surgery money kicking about you would like him to donate his bollocks because you fancy some new dangly ear rings as your “push” present for number 4 . Point out that as a bonus him not having his bollocks in their original position will also mean no more surprise babies. Win win.

Leave, with the clothes he's stood up in, half a pension and massive child support.

If you need help hiding a body, all of MN is here to help.

(His useless body, not your wonderful body)

Why should you go through pain and anguish to right what are, after all honourable scars- say yes that's fine as long as you have a vasectomy as that would definitely be good for both of us, seeing as you obviously didn't want a 4th child-oh and a circumcision if he doesn't have one of those-so much tidier, like your breasts would be.

God almighty I don't think I could stay married to someone who said that to me.

I can think of at least 15 different things better to use the same money on than a boob job, only some of which involve divorcing him, in case there's a chance that he's less of an arsehole than this incident would suggest

Congratulations on your lovely nee baby. Well done.

You need a new descent man , not new boobs
ignorant pig!!!

Him getting a quick kick to the b*llocks would be good for you both, but you could be nice and insist on him getting a vesectomy instead. Either way I'd be planning my escape route sweetheart, you deserve a LOT better x

At 6 weeks postpartum while breastfeeding? No decent surgeon would say anything other than come back a year or so after you’ve finished breastfeeding.
Besides, OP doesn’t want surgery anyway.

Him getting a quick kick to the b*llocks would be good for you both, but you could be nice and insist on him getting a vesectomy instead. Either way I'd be planning my escape route sweetheart, you deserve a LOT better x

OP doesn't want a boob job so it isn't something that she should consider. It doesn't sound any better coming from a woman.

OP would feel better about herself if she had a supportive DH rather than the one who refused to have a vasectomy and then blamed OP for the pregnancy.

I haven't read all the posts but I have read yours and can you PLEASE stop entertaining even the idea that surgery even could be a reasonable proposition, let alone a sensible thing for a man in his position to suggest if he values his knackers.

But my mother told me if you can't say anything nice you shouldn't say anything at all so I won't say what I think of your DH for making such a comment. To be fair and look for hope, you're exhausted, he's exhausted and God willing this phase will pass.

Enjoy your baby, hugs to you.

What a fucking disgusting, unsupportive post.
Reported.

Looks like George Clooney does he? All as trim and neat as he was before the children? I’d stop breastfeeding at night and hand him a bottle for all the night feeds. Say you need to look after your figure for both your sakes. Shut that bedroom door. With a bolt!

Flat out refuse. How dare he tell you what to do with your body? Do not even contemplate undergoing what is an unnecessary operation entirely for his sake. FFS.

What an appalling post. We shouldn't be buying into this outrageous idea that women 'ought' to conform to some unrealistic ideal. You're doing women no favours at all.

The husband has entered the chat.

Combination vasectomy/lobotomy might fix him- what a bellend

Tell him to get a personality transplant. Now that certainly would be better for both of you.

Get him to pay for a boob job and then leave 🙃

While he’s got surgery on his mind, tell him to book a vasectomy.