To refuse a boob job after DH said mine are “wrecked” post DC4?

[Hoistraft]

bit of background first. ive just had DC4 about 6 weeks ago. total shock, was on the pill and it failed. tbh DH wasnt exactly over the moon about it, hes been a bit grumpy about the whole thing and weve been snapping at each other more than usual. im knackered, breastfeeding round the clock, house looks like a bomb site and i dont even know what day it is half the time.

so yesterday i was getting changed and he just comes out with “you should think about getting your boobs done, they’re a bit wrecked now after 4 kids”. i laughed it off at first but then he said he was serious and that “it would be good for both of us” if i sorted them. he keeps saying he’s only being honest and that it’s not a big deal these days.

i feel really rubbish now. yes theyre not what they were at 20 but i grew and fed 4 children with them and atm i actually think my body deserves a medal not a surgeon. im exhausted, hormonal and the last thing on my mind is cosmetic surgery. but part of me is wondering if im letting myself go and maybe hes right?

AIBU to flat out refuse or is it selfish to just expect him to accept me as i am now?

Tell him to book himself in - he'll be needing a surgeon when you've finished rearranging his face.

You laughed it off?!

Boobs have (are still) doing what boobs were designed for. Maybe he needs some therapy to work out why he should have no opinion about the way they look (or even function really).

but really if there’s money it should be spent on therapy for him… it should be spent on whatever you decide

You need to tell him that you’ve lived with him and the state of his face for this long. Boot in the bollocks then a boot out of the door. Wouldn’t want anyone with these attitudes around my children. Disrespectful and abusive.

Its worrying that you need to ask. I think hes slowly fucked your self esteem over time. Bin the bastard what a total prick.

I really really hope this is a joke. If it isn’t then it is one of the most revolting comments I have heard of. How on earth can you stay with this man?

Listen up mums and mums to be we are Always more than enough we Always have been and Always will Be!!. Any partner/husband who can't or won't accept U for who U are isn't going to 2c that. Obviously there will more to each individual’s situations but remember NEVER EVER EVER FORGET UR TRUE WORTH.💓💓 TO ALL

Wow from me too. He sounds like an utter, unfeeling twat.

YANBU. Ask him to transfer over the cost of surgery to you. Then book a holiday leaving him with the kids. Every time he goes near you, recoil with a hiss, if he asks what the matter is say “oh it’s nothing, it’s just” then look pointedly at some area of his anatomy. Don’t say anything more. Keep that up for weeks. What a twat.

you aren’t hormonal you’re just married to a giant arsehole

Feed him to MN! Would happily deal with him for you xx

Right well if he's just being honest, so are you.

After the vasectomy he can get a hair transplant, body sculpting with his abs and a penile enlargement.

Sure it'll be the best for the both of you

Bob jobs can leave you with permanent numbness. And they aren’t “forever”—they need replacing every 10-ish years. Is he prepared to be the full-time dad whilst you recoup for several weeks after each operation? And is he paying? I’d offer him the following list, in order of priority:

1. vasectomy
2. 6-pack sculpting for him
3. hair implants
4. boob job

Cheeky bastard.

Can he get a transplant for his obviously tiny dick energy?

Now that would be better for the both of you.

You may need to educate his stupid head that it does infact take a woman’s body up to two years to fully recover from childbirth. He needs to be more thankful, the ingrate.

You deserve better OP 💐

What a pig!!
Well done for carrying and feeding 4DCs! Not an easy job at all.
Tell him to get the snip and pack it in!
Congratulations on the newborn too🙂

'A boob job? Good shout- will help increase traffic on my tinder profile when we split'

That was horrible and unnecessary of him. More important things in life than tit's! Can you imagine commenting on his saggy scrotum, what a twat! Sorry and if any consolation my dh makes comments about my weight. Xxx

What a cheeky fucking twat your dh is. mine does stuff like this think they are gods gift putting you down to make them feel good about themselves. Glad you told him straight and if he wants sex he needs the vasectomy omg I cannot believe the audacity of him. Mine hasn’t suggested boob job but definitely made horrible comments about my weight, smile etc. just because there not perfect after 4 kids doesn’t mean they need fixing. Tell him you would like a holiday with the money instead.

Sometimes what some people that look and seem like human beings do make me wonder if other creatures are among us just trying yet failing to blend in.

What a vile prick. How can he not see what women go through with a wife whose had FOUR children? Is he dense??

If you want to augment a bit then you do it, not because he's said anything. And you absolutely do not need to, his comment "good for both of us" sounds like hes letting his own thoughts on your breasts affect your relationship already, gross.

You deserve a grovelling apology.

Divorce him

O.M.G.

Along the lines of what I was going to write, but a fuck load more calm

6 weeks post partum and he makes a negative comment about your body? Forget the boob job. Have a husbandsectomy.

I’m a woman and I see things from your husband’s perspective. I have a few friends who have had tummy tucks and breast lifts and it just made them feel better about themselves. Just because it was your husband who brought it up doesn’t mean it isn’t something you shouldn’t consider.