DP embarrasing me over periods

[Bluebirdies]

I’m 30 I know I shouldn’t exactly be embarrassed by them (and deep down I’m not) but this is how DP is making me feel.

I was having really bad stomach cramps last night. He was asking me what was wrong and I told him and he pulled a disgusted face. Then this morning I had come on and he said “eww”

When he says these things, I do pull him up on them but he says he’s joking but they aren’t funny to me. For a while now I have been trying to make out what this means. Is it just something he’s grossed out by? Or is it an example of not really caring about me? I can’t work it out

Would he be fine to go and buy a pack of tampons for you?
That would be my litmus test.

I disagree. Menstruation is fundamental to womanhood and he is trying - and succeeding- in making op feel ashamed and embarrassed. That is abusive and horrible.

He sounds like a POS - and a highly immature, misogynistic bullying one as well. He wants to humiliate and embarrass you. I couldn’t be putting up with it, and it would be a deal breaker. Any decent mature partner even if they felt a bit awkward or grossed out by it (which they shouldn’t be) would put that aside and be making sure you are okay, asking if you need anything/get you anything you need and not be adding to your stress or discomfort. God forbid if you go on to have children, he is going to get a serious shock (please don’t have children with him!) 🤯

What he should be doing is:

Bringing you a hot water bottle when you've got cramps
Making you your favourite comfort food
Checking you've got san pro and going to the shop for them if you haven't
Generally making a fuss of you (or leaving you alone if you'd prefer)

This is what my DD's partner does for her. Oh, and her DF has done all that for her too.

Your DP is a bit of an arse.

He sounds like an immature bell-end and I would say this to his face.

I bet this isn't the only example you could give of this sort of behaviour OP.

Time to raise your bar. Dump and move on to a better man (or just be by yourself and enjoy not having to share anything with a misogynistic arse!)

It does seem very childish to be grossed out by it. My husband will wash my reusable pads. He even hand washes them sometimes when needed…he’s never been one to ew my periods. In fact he would go and get painkillers or whatever I needed to help

Dump him. If he thinks periods are gross, how on earth is he going to cope with any of the myriad of things that can come with a long term relationship- sickness, injuries, childbirth (if that's on the cards for you)?!

I used to work with some grown men, as in fully in their 50s, and when we had someone from a menstrual poverty charity come into work to do an awareness talk they all talked loudly about how periods were disgusting and they shouldn't have to hear about them and how their partners/wives never mention anything about them in front of them because it's gross. Your DP will become one of those men. Is that who you want to be with?

My DP is a dream about periods, asks me about my cramps, buys me tampons, makes me a hot water bottle and gets me a big bar of fruit and nut because he knows that's my favourite when I'm on. I am grateful but consider this very low bar stuff.

Calling your partner disgusting is abusive. Raise your standards @Shessweetbutapsycho

Also, you can bet he verbally abuses her in other ways.

He sounds immature and honestly I'd be leaving. there is no point in having a man who is going to make you feel bad about your noraml bodily functions - just imagine you have a baby- the changes that brings etc, or - god forbid something worse like cancer or a major illness - which brings changes, bodily functions etc - imagine what he will be like then... and get rid of him.

and also Becasue I'm a petty bitch, the next time he is about to "finish" I'd say "eeeew, gross" because quite frankly (in my opinion anyway - I know not everyone feels the same! don't yell at me!!) It is gross.

I'd be disappointed if my sons ever reacted like that even as children.

He's trying to embarrass you about a completely normal part of being a woman. What if you had a daughter with him? Would you let him do the same to her? You deserve better.

WTF? This is such a red flag OP.

He’s very immature and sounds utterly tedious. I just said exactly the same thing to my dh and he said “poor you…do you want me to grab you some nurofen?”. My 7 year ds gave me a hug and said “Is it your period making your tummy hurt?”. So basically my 7 year old has more empathy and understanding than your dp.

Well, he’s an immature twat, isn’t he?

Find someone better. My husband has always shown nothing but kindness, bought me tampons 100s of times, and quietly dealt with cleaning the bedroom carpet when I’ve leaked massive clots onto it as I climbed out of bed.

The thing is yes the comments are a bit immature but what would bother me is the fact he knows you don’t find it funny and he does it anyway. Why? He’s not joking with you he’s making fun of you and that’s not kind. I hate the “lighten up it’s just a joke” mentality, it’s usually spouted by mean people to justify their meanness.
Are you happy in this relationship? Do you feel good about yourself?

He is really immature. My DH grew up as an only child with quite old school parents. His mother calls periods ‘lady things’ is a stage whisper, he never jokes that it’s disgusting although we sometimes make lighthearted jokes in general. I did ask if he’d buy pads for me and he said ‘yes but you would need to send actual pictures of the packet to get as it is overwhelming!’ He makes me hot water bottles and cooks me dinner and says ‘just get through today (when I have bad cramps) that’s the worst of it’ .

He’s a disrespectful, immature misogynist. Or would rather be in a relationship with a man?

Either way you can do better, there is no future with a man who treats you with disgust for any reason.

No, more likely he is simply an immature arsehole.
Not everything is abusive. MNetters throw the word around like confetti.

That's a really shitty attitude from your DP. He's trying to make you feel worse when you're already feeling crap and that's just plain mean.

I hope you're not too entwined - mortgage etc - so you can just walk away from this unkind man child. You deserve better.

He sounds like an ignorant misogynist fifth-former! And an extremely rude and unpleasant one at that! I hope you stand up to him op and tell him to grow up and that he wouldn’t exist without the female reproductive system.

Are you intending to have dc with this manchild op? If so, you might want to revisit that plan? This is the last sort of attitude you need in the delivery suite. It’s so disrespectful.

Post C-section, my dh had to help me to walk to the bathroom and pee in what can only be described as a metal pan as they wanted to measure my output. And I was still bleeding then of course. I will always remember how sweet he was about it.

He sounds very immature

Pretty much rhis.

Id humiliate the bastard back - but actually whats the point of being together in that case.

You’re unlucky here OP, the vast majority of men are really mature about women’s periods in my experience, and they’re usually quite proud to be progressive in this respect.

Maybe they’d rather not know. Why do you feel the need to tell them?