Do you find your DH attractive?

[Thenamesmom]

I’ve been with DH for 9 years but recently a situation happened where I was around a very attractive man (all innocent) but for the first time in many years I actually thought wow he’s attractive.

I actually felt quite guilty about it. I told DH and we both laughed about it as this man was literally created by god himself (he was Italian and Cuban) so you can only imagine.

It made me realise that I have never felt that about my DH? I don’t look at him and think oh my god I want to rip you clothes off. DH is quite short dad body and is balding quite quickly. It’s made me wonder if this is why our sex life has been affected as I’m not actually attracted to him. I love him to pieces but not attracted to him.

Im not perfect myself I’ve had 3 kids but made the effort to loose the weight and I still make an effort like I did pre kids.

Its left me feeling a bit confused in all honesty and I hope no one judges me from this post. Do you all find your husband/partners attractive?

You've never found your DH attractive? Ever? I've only been married 3 years but of course I find my DH attractive. Does he know you don't find him attractive? You sound more like friends

I used to as when I met him 10 years ago, he was slim and had hair but now he’s gained weight and lost his hair,
no not attracted to him and I’ve had 4 kids and lost all the weight and looked after myself but he’s just got comfortable and let himself go.

No, but that’s because he’s a bully.

No I am not particularly attracted to my DH. He is nice looking but the 'dad bod' is off putting as he eats too much crap. I look after my body and health and the fact he doesnt gives me the ick somewhat.

I do.

I’d also ask whether you found your DH attractive when you first met? Did you have a honeymoon phase where you couldn’t get enough of each other?

My DH certainly doesn't have the body he had when we met 27 years ago, and of course neither do I. I know if I met him now I would not be remotely attracted to him.

But I still find him attractive because of our history.

I've been with my DH for 15 years. I am very attracted to him because he's an amazing partner, lover and father. But I don't look at him and think 'you are the most physically beautiful man in the world', he isn't a 'looker' in that sense? I'm sure he feels the same about me!
I have had many occasions of meeting someone or seeing someone and thinking they're extremely attractive. Doesn't mean I'm going to ditch my husband and pursue it! Don't feel guilty about it at all. Just a passing thought and life resumes.

Yes, of course. How have you managed to have sex and procreate with a man you find unattractive? How do you get your juices going (so to speak) if there's no spark?

My DH is nearly 60 and is probably what you’d call a silver fox !!
Still fancy him after 30years !

Yes, I find my DH extremely attractive. He is a classic pretty boy though

I was, before he died.

I wasn't when we first met, at first sight I thought he was quite ugly. But as I got to know him as a friend over a few months he just started to look cuter and more handsome. By the time we got together as a couple I couldn't keep my eyes and hands off him.

His appearance changed a lot over the 15 years we were together, dark salt and pepper hair went to a full white, he gained and lost some weight, a few months of chemo changed his skin texture for a while along with his scent, and for the last 3 years he was on oxygen. By the end I even thought he "suited" his oxygen tube the way some people look better in glasses. I never stopped finding him attractive through it all.

What was it that drew you to him OP, if you never felt like that in the first place? Do those things still exist?

I get where you’re coming from. There is this younger guy at work and I find him so attractive. Had a work sports thing recently and couldn’t stop staring at his calf muscles!!

As for my DH I sort of find him attractive - I have taken care of myself and think I still look good whereas he hasn’t so he’s not as attractive as he once was - he can’t help putting on weight losing hair etc but it’s the lack of interest in appearance that I find unattractive- he prob got away with it when he was younger. Seems usual for women and men my age - the men have let themselves go.

Yes, I’d say my husband has got better looking with age. He does very much have a dad bod these days but that doesn’t bother me. Full head of hair and nice beard. I think he looks great.

On the other hand, after 3 kids I have very much let myself go (slowly working on getting back into shape).

Another one who wants to know how you got through dating and engagement with someone who you don’t fancy. What was the draw?

I guess I was really attracted to his kindness and how family oriented he was. I was a young single mum when I met him. I loved his beard and he was much slimmer! He was a hard worker too. But now he’s a bit lazy and moody he’s a complete different person. It wasn’t so much the attraction really it was everything.

I do, probably even more than when we first met (and I fancied him then!) I'm really lucky, we've grown into each other.

I’m still very attracted to my DH silver fox and he works out so has a good body !!
And I take the same care of my physical fitness I think it makes a huge difference when u look after yourself ! ❤️

My dh is good looking objectively, I fancy him.

Yea, my husband has got way better with age as well. When we met he was a lanky 'geeky' type. He's approaching 40 now and filled out a bit 🤣. He looks great.
Bit of a dad bod but don't they all...

16 years here. I still find him attractive. We have both changed and matured and we both find different things about each other that attractive than when we were younger. If that makes sense

He's put on weight as have I but faces matter to me more tbh.

Yes, of course. How have you managed to have sex and procreate with a man you find unattractive? How do you get your juices going (so to speak) if there's no spark?

I don't understand either

I’m still very attracted to my husband yes, I was attracted to him when we first met and I’d argue I fancy him even more now- he’s aging well!

Interesting one this OP...I don't but I also don't not if that makes any sense!

I think that after years of being together, you just kind of settle in and the attraction isn't necessarily a physical one, primarily. As a PP said, it comes from having history together :-)