Taylor Swift engagement - puzzled

[LouisaJG]

I’m in my 30s and so unreasonable to be posting/caring about this on every level. BUT. I didn’t see a post. So…

AIBU to be puzzled that the man Taylor Swift has finally decided to settle down with is so different to the type she has seemed to date pretty consistently through her 20s and 30s up to then? She seemed so keen on soft, arty, mainly British boys - and now she’s gone for the direct opposite. Is it because her previous long relationship with a soft, arty British boy (Joe Alwyn) didn’t go the distance and so she decided she really needed to change her type if she wanted marriage and kids? Is it a fairly cynical marketing reaction to the current political situation in the States (no idea if TK is actually a Republican but he looks like someone who could appeal to Republicans, very much unlike Joe Alwyn)? Is it just a return to her American, country roots? What gives? I’m her age and I just can’t imagine my tastes changing as dramatically as that.

We used to like the same type of man, and now I feel like I don’t know her any more (I know, I know, I know) 🤣

Didn't his his team win a Superbowl since they've been dating?

Her former type obviously didn’t work and this one has. Not everyone dates the same type for years, essentially you’re just dating the wrong man over and over.

I am suitably chastened to hear that I have anything in common with the Daily Mail

Showmance. Obviously.

They have a common culture, same age and he seems happy to go along with what she wants.

They are in different t facets of the entertainment industry and so are not competing, and are good for each others brands unlike Joe who I don’t think wants to be part of Taylor’s brand.

I think it’s a good match, even if it is a showmance .

Her previous "types" didn't work out so she thought she would try something different.

A lot of women have been there. I have. My DH is the polar opposite of what I thought I wanted when I was younger.

For all the glitz and glamour it's fairly obvious that Taylor is a small town, country fair, apple pie, kind of woman.

There's a lot of cultural capital her previous exes wouldn't have had, Travis knows exactly where she's from. And the fact he's 6 foot whatever, built like a brick shithouse and is totally enamoured with her can't hurt.

Best of luck to them.

Yes and they also lost one. Your point being?

Just that as they won one and lost one, at best, it appears to have had zero impact either way.

Well, at the risk of being really obvious - what she had gone for before hadnt worked out for her? And to be fair, I dont think there is as much difference between moderate republicans and conservative democrats in the US as there might be between the equivalent here.

won one lost one - but it is pretty hard to get to the Super Bowl.

I think he is confident in his own career and in his move to acting (his role in Grotesquerie was something else) and therefore doesn’t need her. He is pretty well known in his own right and very well known in the sporting circles in his own right and comfortable with his family and friends

he has grown on me and certainly has grown on DD who watches the podcasts and to be fair they do model a good relationship

DH was the boyfriend who was most different to me, esp politically. But he was the most kind and respectful.

I assumed Kelce was a Republican. She seems less vocal about being a Democrat nowadays (since the previous election) or is that just me? I love her and hope it works out.

💭...but that is precisely what love is! Love doesn't conform to type and often has no rhyme or reason. When I was younger, I was rather superficial and thought I had a "type". As I've grown, that's changed rather considerably (hopefully because I myself have matured and learnt lessons). So outwardly, the type of man I thought I wanted has changed and what matters to me more now is who he is internally. I'm now with the most gorgeous and incredible human being who the 20 year old me most likely wouldn't have given a chance before because of life, societal pressures and because I thought he had to look a certain way.🤭
Outwardly appearance still matters but as I've aged, it's reduced in my priorities when dating. It's just about finding and matching with a good human. 🙂

It’s possible for a man to be exceptionally good at sport and still be a gentleman. The story of how they met suggests that he might be one of the good guys.

Maybe his values are more traditional therefore marriage is on his agenda. Maybe if you’re more of a hippy rebel type boy you would be less keen on marriage in general

Without googling I think she’s marrying an American sportsman, possibly footballer, at least I have a vague idea she was dating someone like that. I know I could check, but I don’t want to risk going down a rabbit hole as I know I would. Maybe all her previous relationships have given her a very good idea of what she doesn’t want, so she’s sure when she’s found what she does want. As you get older you get more clarity of thought in these things I’ve found.

I don’t pay a great deal of attention to celebrities, but I do admire her for holding her head high in the face of years of media abuse. I’ve also grown to appreciate her music via my obsessed eleven year old DD. “Mean” really strikes a chord with me. I hope she lives happily ever after.

Maybe her “ex’s” were just a marketing / PR thing to get uk/ European fans? And so not really ex’s? 🤷‍♀️

Well kudos for admitting you could be bothered to post but not to check you know what you’re talking about.

If you want her miss americana film, there’s a bit where she debates with her team about putting out a tweet in favour of a democrat candidate. Her management are against it, she does it anyway, but does talk about how all her career she was told “do not be like the Dixie chicks” (who criticised Bush and it damaged their career and led to death threats), and her dad is also against it, saying something like “I had to buy you your first armoured car”. Plus the bomb threats that were clearly very significant in Vienna.

I can certainly understand a reluctance to put yourself in the (possibly real) line of fire in that environment.

Does it matter?Her choice. Seems a waste of time picking her relationship apart.
Life is too short to worry about such trivial stuff.

But long enough to click on the thread and post…

Is it really that relevant? You presumably know enough to discern that he’s different to her previous partners, given that you’ve made a post about it I’m prepared to accept your judgement on that. I probably didn’t need to say the bit about not knowing who she’s engaged to. My point was that, having got it wrong many times before, it’s often easier to tell when you’ve got it right. Maybe she thought she had a type but when that didn’t result in the right relationship she reevaluated what she really wanted in a partner. I’ve seen it happen with friends a few times now. As you get older your priorities can change.

I think it’s pretty common to think that what you were doing previously didn’t work, so you’re going to try something different.

It isn’t always a conscious choice either, they could have just clicked in a way they hadn’t with other people. I definitely liked the broody indie boys, which was only leading to heartache for me. I met my husband and certainly didn’t like him to begin with but when I actually spoke to him, it just clicked. I’ve never connected with someone like I did with DH. I don’t believe in soulmates but it has never been as easy to talk to anyone like I talk to DH.

I met DH quite young but I certainly didn’t want to like him. He’s exactly what I didn’t want - gets on well with my dad, has a boring responsible job, not a brooding bone in his body and when he tries to grow his hair he looks like a sheepdog! Sometimes you’ve got to go against something you want or you think you want. You can definitely overthink things and TS is definitely a thinker.

I’m not 100% convinced it’s not a manufactured “romance” though. TS is a PR genius and an excellent performer. I don’t know if I’d go as far as to say PR stunt but a contracted marriage wouldn’t be the most ridiculous suggestion given their wealth. Marriages as business arrangements were popular at another point in time and they do still happen now but to a lesser extent. Or less well publicised I guess.

I deffo think you’re overthinking it. My type was alternative indie boys and now I’m marrried to a woman 🤷‍♀️

And my DWs favourite band is probably S Club 7 or the Spice Girls lol

I’d not given it much thought before reading your post but actually, I get it.

I had a particular type - tall, thin, academically inclined but little in the way of practical life skills. I was effectively dating the male version of myself. Every single relationship was ultimately miserable and ended.

My husband is quite the opposite to those who went before him and it works. We complement each other well.

TK is a big hulk of a man. Maybe after all she has lived through in the public eye she fell in love with a man who she felt could protect her from the madness of the world she lives in.