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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Taylor Swift engagement - puzzled

290 replies

LouisaJG · 27/08/2025 17:45

I’m in my 30s and so unreasonable to be posting/caring about this on every level. BUT. I didn’t see a post. So…

AIBU to be puzzled that the man Taylor Swift has finally decided to settle down with is so different to the type she has seemed to date pretty consistently through her 20s and 30s up to then? She seemed so keen on soft, arty, mainly British boys - and now she’s gone for the direct opposite. Is it because her previous long relationship with a soft, arty British boy (Joe Alwyn) didn’t go the distance and so she decided she really needed to change her type if she wanted marriage and kids? Is it a fairly cynical marketing reaction to the current political situation in the States (no idea if TK is actually a Republican but he looks like someone who could appeal to Republicans, very much unlike Joe Alwyn)? Is it just a return to her American, country roots? What gives? I’m her age and I just can’t imagine my tastes changing as dramatically as that.

We used to like the same type of man, and now I feel like I don’t know her any more (I know, I know, I know) 🤣

OP posts:
BlueEyedBogWitch · 27/08/2025 19:06

I wondered what the attraction was…then I saw those enormous hands round her little waist, and I totally got it 🥵

Plastictreees · 27/08/2025 19:11

I think TS is kind of stuck in the teenage years developmentally in some ways, which could make sense as that’s when she became famous. It seems like Travis is the popular football type who perhaps TS wanted to date when she was at school, and now she’s found that. Plus he’s a keen bean and appears committed and ready to actually get married, unlike her exes. He also obviously really enjoys the fame side of things. He’s the rebound that stuck!

I do hope it works out though!

RuthChrisSt · 27/08/2025 19:16

I've always had doubts on this relationship and their engagement hasn't dissuaded me. For those saying he's unproblematic that's questionable....he has displayed some terrible behavior on and off the field. He is in no way at the level of stardom that she's at but his profile has definitely increased and she's obviously been able to tap into a new market. His performance has taken quiet a dive since they met which has paved the way for his celebrity life after he retires....very convenient....

Ponderingwindow · 27/08/2025 19:21

There is an old interview where TS said something to the effect that her perfect day off would be spent visiting a friend attending college in Lawrence, KS. I think we have to consider the possibility that the woman might just have found someone who makes her comfortable, someone who is a mix of that small town normalcy and fame.

For those not in the know, Lawrence has a long history of being a liberal stronghold and prides itself on its non-conservative values. That reputation dates back to the civil war.

I no longer think it is a publicity stunt. I watched a bit of the podcast. I’m willing to believe she is that good of an actress, but he is not that good of an actor.

ShesTheAlbatross · 27/08/2025 19:22

RuthChrisSt · 27/08/2025 19:16

I've always had doubts on this relationship and their engagement hasn't dissuaded me. For those saying he's unproblematic that's questionable....he has displayed some terrible behavior on and off the field. He is in no way at the level of stardom that she's at but his profile has definitely increased and she's obviously been able to tap into a new market. His performance has taken quiet a dive since they met which has paved the way for his celebrity life after he retires....very convenient....

Admittedly I don’t know much (anything) about American football, but he’s 35. Isn’t a decline in performance (that also includes winning the Super Bowl, so can’t be totally appalling unless he was a liability for that season) kind of expected at that sort of age? It feels old for a professional sports player.

I’ve no idea about their relationship though. Certainly not enough to make me assume it’s fake, so I’d assume it’s genuine unless there was a reason not to.

Snapplepie · 27/08/2025 19:25

Have you watched the podcast she did with the kelce brothers? I did and I get it now. He seems to be charming, supportive and funny. He also looks like he somehow manages to be a calming person to be around as well as the life of the party.

Firealarm1414 · 27/08/2025 19:29

Does literally everything have to be made into politics? Maybe she is rebelling against the tedious artsy "cool" types who do this by going for someone who is the complete opposite? Some of his teammates are republicans and even trumpers and they still hang out. Its ok not to let politics rule your life.

the80sweregreat · 27/08/2025 19:29

I’m wasn’t dh’s type at all, but 36 years later we are still married. My late mil gave us six months ! Lol
I hope these two last the distance , but who knows with celebs! They look happy enough and he seems nice, but then I’m not a swifty or an American football fan.

Ponderingwindow · 27/08/2025 19:30

ShesTheAlbatross · 27/08/2025 19:22

Admittedly I don’t know much (anything) about American football, but he’s 35. Isn’t a decline in performance (that also includes winning the Super Bowl, so can’t be totally appalling unless he was a liability for that season) kind of expected at that sort of age? It feels old for a professional sports player.

I’ve no idea about their relationship though. Certainly not enough to make me assume it’s fake, so I’d assume it’s genuine unless there was a reason not to.

Yes, his retirement was already considered imminent. People weren’t even sure he was going to play last season let alone this upcoming one. In football years he is OLD.

newyorker74 · 27/08/2025 19:33

This is a guy who - from everything I've seen - loves his family, adores his nieces, has a solid group of friends who don't leak his private business, is at the top of his career whilst being supportive of hers, seems proud to be seen alongside her, thinks her relationship with her fans is great and engages with it and celebrates her achievements. Both of the families seem to adore the other one and both respective groups of friends appear to have embraced their relationship. Every time I see them in public, they seem to genuinely enjoy each other's company. And yet as a relationship it seems odd and like she has settled in some way? If I had a child and they were in a relationship like this, I'd be happy as anything.

Lmnop22 · 27/08/2025 19:34

But other than looks and what’s reported in the media, we don’t know what any of these celebrities opinions or personalities are. So who’s to say this is a departure from her “type”?

Charabanc · 27/08/2025 19:36

A footballer can be a rounded person, just as an arty type can be limited.

Iamuhtredsonofuhtred · 27/08/2025 19:38

I met my boyfriend online when I decided that I was SICK of dating emotionally unavailable, damaged, flashy men who had very much been my type.

Decided to try something different and have never been in a happier, more solid relationship. Sometimes your type is wrong for you.

HoldMyBreathOnTheTightrope · 27/08/2025 19:48

I completely changed my type when I got together with my husband. I was sick of having my heart broken! I thought fuck it, let's try someone totally different to anyone I've dated before. Once I found out what it was like to date a sincere, kind and genuine man instead of the emotionally unavailable arrogant dickheads I'd fallen for previously, I was all in. I totally get where Taylor is coming from and why she's sick of the tortured artists now. Also, now that she's one of the richest and most famous women in the world, she needs a man who isn't fazed by that and he's probably hard to find. Travis Kelce seemed very unlikely to me when she started dating him, but it does make sense (also as a previous poster mentioned, those giant hands round her waist struck me as well 🥵) But mainly, I think she was fed up of heartbreak and went for this gigantic golden retriever who cheerleads her all the way.

(I am so grateful for all her previous heartbreaks though because we got some great songs out of them! I'm not so eager to hear songs inspired by killatrav tbh).

GreenFlag · 27/08/2025 19:53

She’s dated all shapes and sizes. And that’s just the ones she has publicly dated.

TheHillIsMine · 27/08/2025 19:58

None of my previous partners have been alike in anyway so I do find it odd that people have a type. The only thing is there are a couple of famous people I quite fancy and they look like the LOML.

QuantumPanic · 27/08/2025 20:00

Ia he's the rebound that stuck. I'm pretty sure she wanted marriage and kids with Joe ("talking rings and talking cradles, I wish I could un-recall how we almost had it all" - ok, so her lyrics aren't definitive proof, but 🤷🤷) and Travis is the one if she's going to stick to any kind of timeline. That's not a bad thing - I think at a certain point you grow up and realise that a tall, athletic millionaire who you get on with, who wants the same things in life and who wants to marry you is actually a pretty good catch.

LouisaJG · 27/08/2025 20:02

Firealarm1414 · 27/08/2025 19:29

Does literally everything have to be made into politics? Maybe she is rebelling against the tedious artsy "cool" types who do this by going for someone who is the complete opposite? Some of his teammates are republicans and even trumpers and they still hang out. Its ok not to let politics rule your life.

Er politics will rule your life whether you ‘let’ it or not. Roe v Wade has been repealed. If you live in a state where that’s the case and you or someone close to you faces dying in childbirth, closing your eyes and thinking happy thoughts isn’t going to cut it.

OP posts:
Bontonbonbon · 27/08/2025 20:06

Travis and his entire family are registered Democrats. Just being a football player doesn’t make you a Republican. He was one of the first NFL players to take the knee in support of Colin Kapernak. Jason and Kyle Kelce are massive supports of the Eagle’s Autism awareness charity. They are very liberal people

Taylor released a long statement in support of Kamala and also sold merch to support Kamala’s campaign.

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 27/08/2025 20:06

Snapplepie · 27/08/2025 19:25

Have you watched the podcast she did with the kelce brothers? I did and I get it now. He seems to be charming, supportive and funny. He also looks like he somehow manages to be a calming person to be around as well as the life of the party.

I saw a clip of that podcast on the news last night and thought he seemed quite nice. Then he used the word "butthurt" and I had to change my opinion completely. (I'm sure he is still nice but I have an irrational hatred of that word and anyone who uses it).

RuthChrisSt · 27/08/2025 20:06

ShesTheAlbatross · 27/08/2025 19:22

Admittedly I don’t know much (anything) about American football, but he’s 35. Isn’t a decline in performance (that also includes winning the Super Bowl, so can’t be totally appalling unless he was a liability for that season) kind of expected at that sort of age? It feels old for a professional sports player.

I’ve no idea about their relationship though. Certainly not enough to make me assume it’s fake, so I’d assume it’s genuine unless there was a reason not to.

Yes, his age has played a factor in his decline but certainly his relationship has as well. Dinners out the night before a game, the overwhelming attention she gets at the games, he's always looks distracted now when he plays. There's a noticeable difference in his whole persona since dating her.

PoppyTries · 27/08/2025 20:08

turkeyboots · 27/08/2025 18:27

She is engaged to a man who is also hugely famous and understands the associated lack of freedom in their incredibly well off lives. They'll have way more in common than with some musician who'll never reach her level of success.

And they are both very close with their families. I think that is a pretty strong foundation and there are probably more similarities than differences. He seems to adore her and is tremendously supportive and proud of her, maybe that’s exactly what she needs. She’s spent 20 years writing songs about how she wants to be loved, he just needed to follow directions.

witheringrowan · 27/08/2025 20:10

I have a very tangential link to the Joe/Taylor relationship via a friend - from what it sounds like, his arty but actually just mummy & daddy funded mates never really clicked with her. While they were very happy to enjoy the private jets flying them out to holidays in Greece & parties at the North London mansions, ultimately they all (including Joe) saw themselves as far cooler & more artistic than someone as nakedly commercial & mainstream as she is. Whereas Travis seems all in on everything. Must be nice to have that whole hearted support after a succession of partners (Calvin, Joe, Matty) didn't act in the same way.

Screamingabdabz · 27/08/2025 20:10

The Daily Mail (also looking into this conundrum) suggests it’s because he’s ‘chivalrous’ which is what Taylor has always wanted.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 27/08/2025 20:10

All the men she's dated in the past are her exes for a reason.

If you dated someone who was a carbon copy of your ex, wouldn't that just be making the same mistake twice?

Maybe he's just a really great guy and so she doesn't care that he's not her usual type.