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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH stole from me

303 replies

Odonje · 27/08/2025 17:18

At the weekend DH and I went to Knaresborough for a day out - famous for its sausage rolls and pork pies. I don’t like pork pies so I was very much looking forward to the lovely sausage rolls we bought in the bakery. It wasn’t a sausage roll, it was a bean roll but these are just as famous and they looked delicious. DH gobbled his up immediately whereas I took mine home to eat later in comfort of my own home.

later that evening, I wanted to try it but didn’t want the whole thing so I ripped a bit off the end to eat and kept the rest wrapped up in the fridge ready to eat today. I was very much looking forward to it. At lunch time I put my soup on and went to get the sausage roll - it wasn’t there. I messaged DH and he didn’t reply (coward) so I called his work place who went to find him. He denied it at first but eventually admitted to running off with it this morning. I’m gutted. I know it’s a small thing and it’s just a sausage roll but it’s the disrespect, the lies, the outright disregard for my feelings. Latest in a long line of events. Icing on the cake.

I have told him he has no moral compass and the bastard has gone to look up moral compass on yahoo to prove that it’s not a thing. I want it replaced. At the very least I want an apology. AIBU to refuse to cook him dinner or make him coffee until he apologises and promises to replace it.

OP posts:
LostFuse · 28/08/2025 09:03

Odonje · 27/08/2025 21:33

Yes, Hirsts.

update - thank you for the replies DH has finally apologised and we’re going back to Knaresborough on Saturday to get some more.

There are better places to get suasage rolls and pork pies from.
Appleton's butchers.
Huttons for hot sausage rolls but you have to get there early

BeavisMcTavish · 28/08/2025 09:14

Shit the bed - this is important stuff!!

do you have a crime reference number? If not, I’d suggest the non-emergency number rather than 999 (unless of course your stomach is rumbling you’re so hungry?)

TalkToTheHand123 · 28/08/2025 09:21

Camera pointing at the fridge?

Butchyrestingface · 28/08/2025 09:24

Odonje · 27/08/2025 21:40

If he’d had answered my texts I wouldn’t have had to call work

You didn't HAVE to call his work - it wasn't urgent.

Since the sausage/bean roll you were apparently so looking forward to had already been in the fridge for days, why couldn't you have waited til he got home?

Hopefully, he won't do this again and you manage to get your sausage roll when you go bsck. Smile

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 28/08/2025 10:37

saffy2 · 27/08/2025 22:15

Shipton.

Thank you

BitOutOfPractice · 28/08/2025 13:08

outerspacepotato · 27/08/2025 22:41

Do you want your ICU nurse doing their job or arguing with their spouse over a 3 day old bean burrito?

There are jobs where personal phone calls are discouraged, some where no personal calls unless real emergencies, and some jobs don't allow their workers a personal phone at all.

Hey, 3 days uneaten and it should be up for grabs anyway.

But OP's getting another so hopefully she'll eat this one before her husband does.

Do you think the op would have rung her dh if he worked in one of those kind of jobs?

Mewling · 28/08/2025 15:04

BitOutOfPractice · 28/08/2025 13:08

Do you think the op would have rung her dh if he worked in one of those kind of jobs?

I actually think she might’ve done, given her level of freak out over a sausage roll.

BitOutOfPractice · 28/08/2025 15:52

Mewling · 28/08/2025 15:04

I actually think she might’ve done, given her level of freak out over a sausage roll.

You reckon she’d have got her dh out of the operating theatre? I think it’s you that’s overreacting now.

nomas · 28/08/2025 15:57

Starlight7080 · 28/08/2025 07:55

I would be livid if my dh harassed me at work about something so trivial.
Why not wait until he got home.
Op sounds like very hard work .
Obviously if she was easy going her husband would have just asked her if he could have the bean roll. Instead of sneakily taking it.

I don’t know why people excuse men being greedy all the time. My DH has never behaved this way, we try to give each other the best food.

How does him stealing her food mean OP is uptight.

Snakebite61 · 28/08/2025 18:25

Odonje · 27/08/2025 17:18

At the weekend DH and I went to Knaresborough for a day out - famous for its sausage rolls and pork pies. I don’t like pork pies so I was very much looking forward to the lovely sausage rolls we bought in the bakery. It wasn’t a sausage roll, it was a bean roll but these are just as famous and they looked delicious. DH gobbled his up immediately whereas I took mine home to eat later in comfort of my own home.

later that evening, I wanted to try it but didn’t want the whole thing so I ripped a bit off the end to eat and kept the rest wrapped up in the fridge ready to eat today. I was very much looking forward to it. At lunch time I put my soup on and went to get the sausage roll - it wasn’t there. I messaged DH and he didn’t reply (coward) so I called his work place who went to find him. He denied it at first but eventually admitted to running off with it this morning. I’m gutted. I know it’s a small thing and it’s just a sausage roll but it’s the disrespect, the lies, the outright disregard for my feelings. Latest in a long line of events. Icing on the cake.

I have told him he has no moral compass and the bastard has gone to look up moral compass on yahoo to prove that it’s not a thing. I want it replaced. At the very least I want an apology. AIBU to refuse to cook him dinner or make him coffee until he apologises and promises to replace it.

You sound nuts!!!

Limehawkmoth · 28/08/2025 19:30

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 27/08/2025 17:41

Knaresborough, is that where mother Upton (think that's what her name was) lived in a cave? And where that mineral well thing is that concretes everything?

Shipton

Chinsupmeloves · 28/08/2025 19:36

I've often been told off for having part of sth and leaving the rest, which I do to enjoy later as well.

To the rest of the world it seems like fair game to eat or throw away!

Orlastuff · 28/08/2025 19:54

😂

Petrolitis · 28/08/2025 20:06

Odonje · 27/08/2025 21:40

If he’d had answered my texts I wouldn’t have had to call work

If anything, you under reacted OP.

You should have gone to the tea leafing bugger's work for retribution.

Glad he's putting the situation right.

Mewling · 28/08/2025 21:20

BitOutOfPractice · 28/08/2025 15:52

You reckon she’d have got her dh out of the operating theatre? I think it’s you that’s overreacting now.

You may think what you like, I’m not the one ringing my husband in work over him eating something in his own fridge. 😅

BitOutOfPractice · 28/08/2025 22:10

Mewling · 28/08/2025 21:20

You may think what you like, I’m not the one ringing my husband in work over him eating something in his own fridge. 😅

Neither am I! 🤷‍♀️

If DP nicked my much looked forward to leftovers he’d certainly be getting a strongly worded text no matter where he was.

AnnoraFoyle · 28/08/2025 22:19

You shouldn't have to hide food from grown adult men.

Alliod40 · 28/08/2025 22:37

Get counselling..you,not your husband..just you

AdultHumanFemaleOne · 28/08/2025 22:57

The fact that you hunted him down at work shows just how deeply this hurt you. I agree with those who have said that this is total disrespect. You should not have had to hide it, as was suggested. I doubt your husband has to hide things. Repeated acts of disrespect are indicative of a huge amount of disrespect. I can also offer the use of a patio ..

Cherryicecreamx · 28/08/2025 23:00

Can't get over how you rang his work over a sausage roll 🤣

FalsewidowspiderherDHisnotdead · 28/08/2025 23:00

MyDeftHedgehog · 27/08/2025 18:31

Perhaps he has saved OP from a dose of the trots!!

And hope he gets the shits instead.........in fact, laxatives can be bought OTC!

ChaliceinWonderland · 28/08/2025 23:04

Vote for classics! I'm laughing, sorry!!

Russiandollsaresofullofthemselves · 28/08/2025 23:44

ffs! overreaction much, seriously you phoned his work over a sausage roll 🤣 clearly there is much more going on to get your knickers in a twist over something so insignificant.

NaiceBalonz · 29/08/2025 04:36

Odonje · 27/08/2025 21:40

If he’d had answered my texts I wouldn’t have had to call work

You didn't have to you chose to.

What an overreaction.

GiveDogBone · 29/08/2025 06:12

You’re married, there’s no such thing as your property or his property, there’s only joint property you are both entitled to.

At least that’s what all the MN man-haters say when it’s the man’s property at stake.

And you are batshit crazy to ring his work to speak to him about it. He should dump you on the spot and then apply your rule in the split: anything he bought is his, anything you bought is yours.