DH stole from me

[Odonje]

At the weekend DH and I went to Knaresborough for a day out - famous for its sausage rolls and pork pies. I don’t like pork pies so I was very much looking forward to the lovely sausage rolls we bought in the bakery. It wasn’t a sausage roll, it was a bean roll but these are just as famous and they looked delicious. DH gobbled his up immediately whereas I took mine home to eat later in comfort of my own home.

later that evening, I wanted to try it but didn’t want the whole thing so I ripped a bit off the end to eat and kept the rest wrapped up in the fridge ready to eat today. I was very much looking forward to it. At lunch time I put my soup on and went to get the sausage roll - it wasn’t there. I messaged DH and he didn’t reply (coward) so I called his work place who went to find him. He denied it at first but eventually admitted to running off with it this morning. I’m gutted. I know it’s a small thing and it’s just a sausage roll but it’s the disrespect, the lies, the outright disregard for my feelings. Latest in a long line of events. Icing on the cake.

I have told him he has no moral compass and the bastard has gone to look up moral compass on yahoo to prove that it’s not a thing. I want it replaced. At the very least I want an apology. AIBU to refuse to cook him dinner or make him coffee until he apologises and promises to replace it.

I’d say it’s just a sausage roll but sounds indicative of a much bigger issue.

You called his work place and made them go get him come to the phone... For a sausage roll. That's quite something.

LTB immediately. Only option.

After it sitting in the fridge for 3 days I would be starting to assume it wasn’t going to be eaten to be fair!

Yes he shouldn’t have taken it but your response seems like a massive overreaction on the face of this one incident

You’re joking I assume?

If not, then you have issues!

Greedy and selfish - completely unreasonable OP.

I think it’s not really the sausage roll, it’s what it represents, which is his disrespect for you. He knew you would have felt a type of way, but he didn’t care and took it regardless.

You called his work place about this?

There are much bigger things going on in life, than who ate the sausage roll!!

It was proper Northern baked goods. No jury would convict, OP. Give him both barrels. By which I mean scoff all the hobnobs and leave him the custard creams. Hope he learns his lesson.

I totally get it. No doubt people will pile on saying you're making a fuss over nothing but I totally disagree.

He's just blatantly shown you that he thinks his wants are more important than yours, that he can take & do whatever he wants with no consequence because he's important and you're not.

My DH ate the Toffee Crisp that I'd been saving. He didn't know I was saving it tbh and it was in the treat basket so he thought it was fair game. Still annoyed me but I didn't ring him at work 😂

It was not 3 days, we bought them on Monday and it was bean so it doesn’t go off as quickly as sausage

YABU for trying just the tip and leaving the rest, it's just a snack, who does that? lol

But seriously, if it's yours, it's yours so YANBU.

The chasing him down at work seems a little unhinged though

I mean your post & reaction to this make you sound batshit crazy but I'll hazard a guess that there is a lot more to this and this one incident is the one to tip you over the edge?

I mean, he’s a bastard, but you called him at work?!

Did he think you didn't want it or didn't like it? You said you ate the end off it and then wrapped it back up, could he be excused in thinking you took a bite, didn't like it so it was up for grabs?

Is this just another sign that he puts himself and his wants over yours? Even when that means actually doing this which are a detriment to you?

AIBU to refuse to cook him dinner or make him coffee until he apologises and promises to replace it.

What a prick. Why are you cooking for him anyway? Does he not cook?

Does he make you coffees?

DH and I always ask each other before eating something we’ve bought as a treat.

Blimey you really wanted your baked goods.

It’s a sausage roll not a life or death situation . Lots of couples grab things out the communal fridge . You should have hidden it if it’s that important .

I have space under my patio if you’re interested.

It is the principle of it. Its your food. He should not have eaten it. I would be annoyed with that too. I dislike greed its a nasty trait. Its also the lack of respect.

There's been quite a few threads on MN along these lines of the guy hoovering up all the food in the house that particularly belongs to other other family members. The one that sticks in my mind is the selfish greedy father who ate all his DC s Easter eggs so that when the OP went to give them to the children on Easter morning they were gone.

And it literally always is the guy who does it.

And it's not funny in the slightest. It's selfish, nasty, greedy entitled behaviour.

I think OP has every right to be annoyed because it shows that in the scheme of things her H assumes his pleasure is what matters and her's doesn't count for very much.

My fella ate a steak that I'd won in a raffle. It was 30 years ago! We've had two kids since. I've still not forgiven him. I'm just biding my time.

YANBU