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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH stole from me

303 replies

Odonje · 27/08/2025 17:18

At the weekend DH and I went to Knaresborough for a day out - famous for its sausage rolls and pork pies. I don’t like pork pies so I was very much looking forward to the lovely sausage rolls we bought in the bakery. It wasn’t a sausage roll, it was a bean roll but these are just as famous and they looked delicious. DH gobbled his up immediately whereas I took mine home to eat later in comfort of my own home.

later that evening, I wanted to try it but didn’t want the whole thing so I ripped a bit off the end to eat and kept the rest wrapped up in the fridge ready to eat today. I was very much looking forward to it. At lunch time I put my soup on and went to get the sausage roll - it wasn’t there. I messaged DH and he didn’t reply (coward) so I called his work place who went to find him. He denied it at first but eventually admitted to running off with it this morning. I’m gutted. I know it’s a small thing and it’s just a sausage roll but it’s the disrespect, the lies, the outright disregard for my feelings. Latest in a long line of events. Icing on the cake.

I have told him he has no moral compass and the bastard has gone to look up moral compass on yahoo to prove that it’s not a thing. I want it replaced. At the very least I want an apology. AIBU to refuse to cook him dinner or make him coffee until he apologises and promises to replace it.

OP posts:
pestowithwalnuts · 27/08/2025 17:53

It's SAUSAGE ROLL-GATE !!!

PivotFan · 27/08/2025 17:53

Odonje · 27/08/2025 17:18

At the weekend DH and I went to Knaresborough for a day out - famous for its sausage rolls and pork pies. I don’t like pork pies so I was very much looking forward to the lovely sausage rolls we bought in the bakery. It wasn’t a sausage roll, it was a bean roll but these are just as famous and they looked delicious. DH gobbled his up immediately whereas I took mine home to eat later in comfort of my own home.

later that evening, I wanted to try it but didn’t want the whole thing so I ripped a bit off the end to eat and kept the rest wrapped up in the fridge ready to eat today. I was very much looking forward to it. At lunch time I put my soup on and went to get the sausage roll - it wasn’t there. I messaged DH and he didn’t reply (coward) so I called his work place who went to find him. He denied it at first but eventually admitted to running off with it this morning. I’m gutted. I know it’s a small thing and it’s just a sausage roll but it’s the disrespect, the lies, the outright disregard for my feelings. Latest in a long line of events. Icing on the cake.

I have told him he has no moral compass and the bastard has gone to look up moral compass on yahoo to prove that it’s not a thing. I want it replaced. At the very least I want an apology. AIBU to refuse to cook him dinner or make him coffee until he apologises and promises to replace it.

Honestly, it’s never about the sausage roll, is it? 😂 It’s about respect (and the lies)! You saved it for later, you looked forward to it, and he just nicked it. A small thing, but it feels big when it’s part of a pattern. I’d say you’re not unreasonable at all to hold out for an apology — he owes you both the roll and the respect.

Ilovegermany · 27/08/2025 17:54

OP I completely understand you. For my 40th birthday, a friend bought me a 1kg personalised box of Haribos. My now late DP opened them and ate the lot. I didn’t try a single one.
I was raging, he would do the same with any chocolate or crisps that I bought.

SeptaUnellasBell · 27/08/2025 17:54

If my husband rang me at work and demanded I come to the phone, whereupon I discovered he was ringing about the location of a bean/sausage roll i would laugh and hang up and instruct people never to put him through to me again.

However, I don’t think this is about a Bean Roll really, and much bigger issues are at play.

Hfstjsufysyfykdhoxg · 27/08/2025 17:55

I don't believe this happened. Nobody would call someone at work about a sausage roll.

FourTop · 27/08/2025 17:57

In fairly certain that any freshly baked food would be better in taste and texture sooner than the point at which it had just been left hanging around.

Why would you keep putting it off? Save to eat at home and then save again for another day? Seems wasteful.

And ringing his work is absolutely ridiculous. Maybe you should save that for when there's really something urgent.

Gatekeeper · 27/08/2025 17:57

If you got them from Appletons he wants kicking squarely in the nuts

RandomlyGeneratedTriad · 27/08/2025 17:58

I have told him he has no moral compass and the bastard has gone to look up moral compass on yahoo to prove that it’s not a thing. I want it replaced.

You want his moral compass replaced? Not sure that you can buy it as a spare part. Perhaps try a second-hand DH dealer. They sometimes break up old bangers to sell as parts

DramaLlamacchiato · 27/08/2025 17:58

I agree with you, it’s not just the food item, but the disregard and disrespect for your stuff. My husband can be very greedy. Thinks nothing of eating all the biscuits and never thinking I might want one. I once made up enough stuff for days worth of prepacked lunches, I took one day’s worth and came home and the pig had eaten the rest. I was furious: 😡

Mumofsoontobe3 · 27/08/2025 17:58

I think you went a bit over the top by phoning his workplace. He shouldn't have taken it and I would expect an equally delicious treat as a replacement. On saying that though, it is just a pastry. I'd be a bit pissed off at best. I'd probably buy his favourite pudding and eat it right infront of him, without leaving so much as a crumb behind, but I'm spireful childish.

RandomlyGeneratedTriad · 27/08/2025 17:59

Hfstjsufysyfykdhoxg · 27/08/2025 17:55

I don't believe this happened. Nobody would call someone at work about a sausage roll.

I'm sure it's a joke.

Laura95167 · 27/08/2025 17:59

When you are this upset about a sausage roll.. its not about a sausage roll (or a bean roll)

Augustlights · 27/08/2025 18:00

My DH does it all the time. If I have something in the fridge but I won’t eat in time, he will.

godmum56 · 27/08/2025 18:00

peonysinthesun · 27/08/2025 17:22

I think it’s not really the sausage roll, it’s what it represents, which is his disrespect for you. He knew you would have felt a type of way, but he didn’t care and took it regardless.

this

Coconutter24 · 27/08/2025 18:01

I don’t think MN has the same sense of humour as you OP…. But if I am mistaken please seek help 😂

sandyhappypeople · 27/08/2025 18:03

Odonje · 27/08/2025 17:23

It was not 3 days, we bought them on Monday and it was bean so it doesn’t go off as quickly as sausage

Show quote history

2 days then.. still too long for anyone in the house to resist temptation. Maybe he thought you had tried it and not liked it so he was doing you a favour?

On a serious note though, if these things are so nice (and famous), why would you not get a couple each, one for on the day and one each to take home.. complete amateurs the pair of you! 😀

ClaredeBear · 27/08/2025 18:03

I’ve never said this before…but LTB

Mokeytree · 27/08/2025 18:04

I would be hurt and annoyed if my husband did this. Seems apparently that makes me crazy. But if we'd gone to get something that was eagerly anticipated as a big treat and then my husband ate it then that's really mean behaviour and I think it's odd the amount of people who don't see that.

Bournetilly · 27/08/2025 18:06

Well YANBU to refuse to cook for him until he apologises but you overreacted and do sound crazy calling his work place.

Luvtheinlaws · 27/08/2025 18:06

Seriously....? I thought he must have st least stolen money from your purse. Irritating but hardly a major crime!

NotYoCheese · 27/08/2025 18:07

DH does stuff like this, after 30 years I've learned to hide things I want to keep for me in the salad drawer...
I'd probably have kept phoning his phone until he answered, but I'd not have gone for the work phone option - little tip for next time, (and there will be one!) - I always phrase it as "I just wanted to know so I don't waste any more time looking for it"

Waterbaby41 · 27/08/2025 18:08

You're nuts!! Hope he saves himself and leaves you.

Pollqueen · 27/08/2025 18:09

Sorry but Melton Mowbray is famous for pork pies, not Knaresborough. Pedantic I know, but just saying

I'd shoot the bastard

Madisnttheword · 27/08/2025 18:09

Did he take it to a Coldplay concert?

Pastaandoranges · 27/08/2025 18:10

Leaving food in the fridge for more than a day then it's fair game. I would have eaten it too, it sounds delicious. Why were tou leaving it for so long, perhaps he thought it would be wasted and what a shame that would have been.
Calling his work to discuss a sausage roll is slightly insane.
Pop yourself down to Greggs and get a replacement.