Got told off by a random bloke! Is this being selfish?

[AgentPidge]

This was a new one on me and I would like opinions please.
I went out for the day with DH. We went to a National Trust place and took lunch with us. After we'd looked round, we went back to the car, got our lunch and sat in the field next to the carpark. So we were away from everyone but there were lots of people going to and from the carpark, so we could be seen.
After we'd eaten, DH said he wanted to make a work call and would sit in the car. I said I'd stay in the sun for a bit before joining him.
I stretched out on the grass in the sun. I didn't have a sun hat or sunscreen with me but I did have a shirt over my tee shirt so I took the shirt off and draped it over my head. After about ten or 15 minutes I remembered that I'd seen cow poo in the field, and had this vision of finding myself surrounded by cows, so I sat up. There was a bloke walking towards me across the field. He stopped, turned round and went back to the gate, where he was talking to another bloke. I sat there for another minute and they were looking at me and talking. When I got up and walked down to the gate, the conversation went like this (no "Hello" or anything):
Him: You shouldn't do that, you know. Stretch out in a field like that.
Me: Oh, are there cows? I did wonder.
Him: No, not cows. We thought you were ill. You could've fainted, had a heart attack, epileptic fit, diabetic...
Me: Really? So people shouldn't sunbathe?
Him: Not alone, no. You should have someone with you. Unless it's your garden.
Then the friend chimed in: Yes, it's really selfish. We were worried. You shouldn't make people worry like that.

So I thanked them for their concern (through gritted teeth) and went on my way. But it spoilt my day.

Thoughts: How many people having epileptic fits etc bother to drape a shirt over their head? How does he cope on the beach? Does he go round checking? I often go on my own - am I selfish? What about parks? It's common in London parks. Would he have told off a bloke? A friend IRL agrees with him. TIA

I’ve been having the best sleep of my life in a park and someone has woken me up to check if I’m dead. It kind of speaks to the state everyone’s walking around in. Over adrenalised paranoia. Please take a chill pill or a lesson from the person who’s actually managed to relax !

He was heading over to me when I sat up. I didn't get "worried" vibes from them - I got "you were wrong" vibes. Someone is selfish to make other people wonder if they are OK.
The other guy was with him, not just another random visitor. I saw them together in the teashop later on.

What a couple of silly little twerps ! 🤣

Honestly, I'd probably have checked you were ok, but in a more polite manner.
They maybe just gpt a fright seeing you, and handled it clumsily.

Thank you. He was on his way over to me when I sat up, thus spoiling any potential for life-saving heroics.

This was my thought too. You put it very well.

'Are you okay? Do you need any help or anything?'

'No thanks, I'm fine' ...

Was all that was necessary.

This transpired when I found someone lying on the ground in a secluded valley road near my home. I stopped the car and asked if they needed help. They were fine, taking wildlife photography, but thanked me for asking. Did I trouble to 'tell them off' for alarming passing motorists? No, of course I didn't.

Where the hell do random men get off in telling female strangers off? No wonder you were discombobulated by this, OP. No way would it have happened if you'd been a man. No way.

Edited for a PS: you'll be 'told off' on this thread too. Some people can't resist it, and will happily do it to other women on behalf of men. No, I don't get it either.

My stock reply to idiots like this-
It's a good job it's none of your business then.

I once saw a man asleep by a bush on the park. He looked a bit down at heel, and I wondered whether he was ok… so I asked him.

He told me to fuck off 😂.

Sixties, at a guess. So about my age. Although they wouldn't have been able to guess my age I don't think as I was wearing shorts, a tee and trainers and they couldn't see my face or hair.

They were being twats.

I've had similarish experiences with random men (usually in a twosome) where they get kind of cocky. I think it's some kind of willy waving and it's not you it's them.

So to spend a minute walking up to check someone is OK is a massive hardship? And slightly weird.

@AgentPidge you ruined their life saving opportunity, poor men.

😂

This is the thing, a man told you to fuck off and you backed off and can laugh about it. Can you imagine if OP had told him to fuck off? He would escalate his behaviour and OP would be worried for her safety.

You hurt a white knights feelings in front of another incel nice guy (the worst slight a incel man can face) by not actually being a damsel in distress and removing his ability to swoop in like the hero he clearly is to save you.

Don't you know a taken woman must have her keeper with her at all times so other incels men don't mistake her as their future object by mistake.

You where ungrateful for his 'concern' by not actually needing rescue don't you know. You should have fainted on the spot 'Victorian lady' style like a good little woman so he could play out his superman fantasy of saving the girl.

Men are afraid women will laugh at them.

Women are afraid men will kill them.

If I'd seen someone lying in a field with something draped over their head , I'd have gone up to them to ask if they were ok but then , I'm a woman , and I don't expect they'd have reacted badly.

However, there was no need for them to tell you off .

How does he cope on the beach? Does he go round checking? I often go on my own - am I selfish? What about parks? It's common in London parks

You weren't in a park or on a beach though op. You were laying flat out on the ground, in an otherwise empty field full of cowshit. With some fabric draped over your head. And no sign of any towel/picnic/daytrip/companions.

In reality, the bloke was probably wondering if he was about to uncover a dumped dead body and possibly steeling himself for this. The surge and drop in adrenaline made him (understandably) grumpy and him mentioning the possibility of medical conditions/illness was probably him trying to NOT be dramatic, by not mentioning dead bodies or whatever!

I'd be more worried about the cows than random men - and the deposits they tend to leave behind in the grass (the grass not the men)!

wondering if he was about to uncover a dumped dead body
Within inches of an NT property, with hordes of people tramping about?
Sounds like Midsomer Murders
<<Disclaimer: never watched it; I'm guessing>>

It does sound like he was walking towards you and only went back to the gate because you sat up. So maybe he was going to check on you before you sat up.
His approach was wrong to tell you what you should and shouldn’t do though, maybe you just gave him a bit of a worry

The op said they were in a field away from everyone. Next to a NT property is neither here nor there.

Tbph, just over the border of a field edging a car park actually seems a very likely place to dump a body! 😂

He sounds absolutely bonkers

I'm surprised at how many people have said "you gave him a fright" or "you will have worried him"..

OP didn't do anything. The whole drama started and ended with the blokes.

They were very weird. You were admirably restrained in your response.

Give over, she was next to a car park for a National Trust property.

There is no way he would have told off a man.

The way people make excuses for rude men is baffling.