Got told off by a random bloke! Is this being selfish?

[AgentPidge]

This was a new one on me and I would like opinions please.
I went out for the day with DH. We went to a National Trust place and took lunch with us. After we'd looked round, we went back to the car, got our lunch and sat in the field next to the carpark. So we were away from everyone but there were lots of people going to and from the carpark, so we could be seen.
After we'd eaten, DH said he wanted to make a work call and would sit in the car. I said I'd stay in the sun for a bit before joining him.
I stretched out on the grass in the sun. I didn't have a sun hat or sunscreen with me but I did have a shirt over my tee shirt so I took the shirt off and draped it over my head. After about ten or 15 minutes I remembered that I'd seen cow poo in the field, and had this vision of finding myself surrounded by cows, so I sat up. There was a bloke walking towards me across the field. He stopped, turned round and went back to the gate, where he was talking to another bloke. I sat there for another minute and they were looking at me and talking. When I got up and walked down to the gate, the conversation went like this (no "Hello" or anything):
Him: You shouldn't do that, you know. Stretch out in a field like that.
Me: Oh, are there cows? I did wonder.
Him: No, not cows. We thought you were ill. You could've fainted, had a heart attack, epileptic fit, diabetic...
Me: Really? So people shouldn't sunbathe?
Him: Not alone, no. You should have someone with you. Unless it's your garden.
Then the friend chimed in: Yes, it's really selfish. We were worried. You shouldn't make people worry like that.

So I thanked them for their concern (through gritted teeth) and went on my way. But it spoilt my day.

Thoughts: How many people having epileptic fits etc bother to drape a shirt over their head? How does he cope on the beach? Does he go round checking? I often go on my own - am I selfish? What about parks? It's common in London parks. Would he have told off a bloke? A friend IRL agrees with him. TIA

What a weirdo (him not you). I would actually go so far as to say this was creepy inappropriate behaviour on their parts. Why shouldn’t you lie in a field alone. Very odd

Unbelievable.. he was taking his embarrassment out on you because he was mistaken. And too right he never would have started going on at a bloke in the same way.

I was driving when I saw a young man stretched out on a grassy bit of land. I thought it was a bit chilly for sunbathing. I stopped - in fact, I turned back to check. He was completely unconscious and I called an ambulance. So I can understand why those men were concerned.

He probably wouldn't have told off a man, but he probably would have gone to check if a man was dead.
Checking on her is not the crime, his reaction to being made to look silly is.

They probably saw a body lying in a field and they were concerned. That's all , no big deal. They felt silly

If he was genuinely checking up on her, he would have been happy she was ok, not calling her selfish.

Something about a woman feeling free enough to lie down on her own must have really got to him.

And that's fine. But it would have been perfectly possible to keep 'feeling silly' to themselves, not blame a blameless stranger for their ungovernable vigilance against possible dead bodies in NT fields.

To be honest I would have seen the funny side, and thanked them for their concern. I could see their point of view and would have made light of it and said that next time I decided to lay down in a field, I'd hold a sign saying 'Do not panic. I have not fainted. I am just having a snooze and sunbathing'. I think it's quite sweet of them.

Years ago, a guy cut me up, leaned out of the window to swear at me as he went past, saw I had a male passenger (a friend) and said to him, "Sorry, mate".

Also years ago, a bloke went into the back of me when I stopped at a T-junction, got out and started swearing at me and telling me it was my fault. My very tall husband then got out of the passenger side and he stopped mid-sentence and muttered, "Sorry, mate".

Each incident gives me the absolute rage every time I think about it.

EDT: sorry, my point is that yes, men absolutely give strange women gratuitous shit that they would not dare to give a bloke, and it is utterly pathetic.

What a strange attitude for them to have. Weirdos. You did nothing wrong.

I don't think they were unreasonable to wonder if you were ok but the way they berated you for the perfectly normal activity of lying in the sun on your own is obviously out of order and I personally do not believe that they would have said any of that to a bloke.

Women determined to see mysogyny at every turn are tiresome.

There's enough out there, we all know it. Trying to shoehorn every single undesirable situation that involves a man into an 'omg he must hate women' wrapper really doesn't help anyone.

I mean, comments like this 😂 WTAF. Ridiculous.
Something about a woman feeling free enough to lie down on her own must have really got to him
😂😂 Yep, sure that was it 🙈

So which situations are we allowed to post about?

I've been sworn at by men for not giving them way in the right direction e.g. if we are at a doorway, and I move to the left to let them pass, they have got angry and demanded that I move to the right.

THIS is the level of entitlement men have to women being in spaces.

So no, glad it makes you laugh, but it's not far fetched to know that those men were not being kind when they called OP selfish for daring to lie down on grass on a NT property.

Exactly. This is our lived reality.

I get your point that their initial concern looked quite nice and public-minded, but what is sweet exactly about a couple of men telling a woman off for being 'selfish'?
When they realised their mistake the 'sweet' thing to do would have been to have a self-deprecating laugh about it with her, not give her a fucking lecture.

Aggression breeds aggression. I'd rather laugh it off, bid them a good day and enjoy the rest of my day, than giving them more headspace than it needs.

The OP wasn't aggressive
She asked one question, then 'thanked them for their concern (through gritted teeth) and went on my way.'
But in any case, your point, which I was responding to, was that they were 'quite sweet', with which I totally disagree considering they saw fit to try to tell a grown woman she shouldn't lie in a field alone and that she was selfish to 'make people worry'.

Frankly they really didn't need to say anything at all to OP

If you think 'gritted teeth' isn't being aggressive, we have a different pov, and that's okay. I would have handled it differently, and that's okay too. I presume the opening poster told us about it because she wants opinions. That is mine.

I wonder what the story would have been if the opening poster was indeed having some sort of medical episode and the men took no notice rather than enquiring over her wellbeing?

It means she worked very hard not to show her true feelings. Not that she bared her teeth at them, which I agree WOULD be aggressive.
It's not the question of whether or not she was in trouble that's the point; it's the fact that, even when they knew she was OK, they felt the need to tell her off about her actions and blame her for 'making' them worry.
If you don't find something a bit sinister about that, particularly the blame they assigned by saying the latter, frankly you're not thinking about it hard enough.

Okay, I am happy to not be thinking about it 'hard enough' for you. 😑

through gritted teeth means doing something unpleasant or difficult @Properchips it's not literal.

Your comment made me smile

Who owned the field that you were sitting in?

The comments on here show more about society than the guy honestly. Really shows how bad things have got.

I completely agree. If I saw someone lying in a field alone I think I would assume they were ill too.