Got told off by a random bloke! Is this being selfish?

[AgentPidge]

This was a new one on me and I would like opinions please.
I went out for the day with DH. We went to a National Trust place and took lunch with us. After we'd looked round, we went back to the car, got our lunch and sat in the field next to the carpark. So we were away from everyone but there were lots of people going to and from the carpark, so we could be seen.
After we'd eaten, DH said he wanted to make a work call and would sit in the car. I said I'd stay in the sun for a bit before joining him.
I stretched out on the grass in the sun. I didn't have a sun hat or sunscreen with me but I did have a shirt over my tee shirt so I took the shirt off and draped it over my head. After about ten or 15 minutes I remembered that I'd seen cow poo in the field, and had this vision of finding myself surrounded by cows, so I sat up. There was a bloke walking towards me across the field. He stopped, turned round and went back to the gate, where he was talking to another bloke. I sat there for another minute and they were looking at me and talking. When I got up and walked down to the gate, the conversation went like this (no "Hello" or anything):
Him: You shouldn't do that, you know. Stretch out in a field like that.
Me: Oh, are there cows? I did wonder.
Him: No, not cows. We thought you were ill. You could've fainted, had a heart attack, epileptic fit, diabetic...
Me: Really? So people shouldn't sunbathe?
Him: Not alone, no. You should have someone with you. Unless it's your garden.
Then the friend chimed in: Yes, it's really selfish. We were worried. You shouldn't make people worry like that.

So I thanked them for their concern (through gritted teeth) and went on my way. But it spoilt my day.

Thoughts: How many people having epileptic fits etc bother to drape a shirt over their head? How does he cope on the beach? Does he go round checking? I often go on my own - am I selfish? What about parks? It's common in London parks. Would he have told off a bloke? A friend IRL agrees with him. TIA

But she wasn't 'in the local cow fields', she was in a publicly accessible field at a NT property, with a shirt draped over her face, in full view of a busy car park. Surely the chances are far more likely that she's sunbathing than that she's suddenly had a stroke or died?

He didn't walk back over to rebuke her either. He walked back to his friend and OP walked to the gate where they were

I would have wondered if you were ok op o think. But I wouldn’t have told you off.

And i wouldn’t have let it ruin my day.

I've done a first aid course. I can assure you I don't wander about chastising people for looking like they needed first aid when the didn't. What a plonker. Was a an older man?

Absolutely bonkers.

I'd have told him to mind his own business.

This reminds me of a reverse situation where I had a seizure at some stuck up woman's house. When I came round she told me I was selfish for faking a seizure!?

Those two sounds like total bellends. 'don't sunbathe alone unless you're in your own garden'?! Who invented that rule?

TBH I’d laugh this one off. He saw a woman lying in a field and panicked. I think it’s kind of sweet that he was alarmed - and bothered to check it out. Any harshness may simply have come from a place of sincere concern for you and relief - had you been on a picnic blanket etc he may have thought nothing of it.

It’s really not a big enough issue to be annoyed by or to still be thinking about - he over reacted to what he thought may be a woman in distress, and you’ve overreacted by letting it spoil your day.

Draw a line under it and move on.

Nut jobs for sure.

What a prat he was!

Anyone else might have approached and lightheartedly said “you ok down there?”

As a previous commentator has said, he needs therapy for his anxiety.

So a public accessible cow field then! My mother found a neighbour deceased on the ground from a heart attack. Also having had two sons die of epileptic seizures in the last five years and read up on SUDEP and sudden death. I'd say finding a unexpectedly deceased person unfortunately, isn't as uncommon as you would think.

You probably looked a bit weird.

This is how the conversation should have gone:

<man> Are you okay?
<you> Yes fine thanks!
<man> Oh good! Have a nice day.
<you> Thank you!

That is hilarious. I can’t believe they actually felt the need to have a word with you as if you deliberately tricked them.

Kind of funny, kind of sweet they were concerned but can see how it took you off guard.

You're not in the wrong, they had good intentions but their delivery was poor, so think you can brush it off.

That's what I'd do!

It might have been sweet that he checked, sure. What's definitely not 'sweet' by any definition is, long after he's seen that the OP was fine, him bustling over to tell her in detail why she shouldn't sunbathe unaccompanied unless in her own garden, and that she's 'selfish' to have made him and his friend worry.

That's the kind of busybodyish thinking that made my medic friend's next door neighbour put a note on her front door to say he was reporting her for being out for exercise for five minutes about the stipulated hour during lockdown. The irony being she had just done a long hospital shift and lost her first patient to Covid, so had gone for a run to clear her head on a big open meadow. For an hour and five minutes.

If they were worried .. surely they would've come over and checked on you? If I even for a second thought someone was having a medical emergency I wouldn't stand and talk about it, I'd go over and use my words and see if they were ok. If no response I would've called 999. I don't think there was any concern at all on their part - I think just a couple of idiots trying to make you feel small. I hope you enjoyed soaking up some sunshine as it's raining where I am!

He was very odd, but saying it ruined your day is also odd. I agree that he was trying to ‘be in charge’. Who says you can’t lie in a field? Bizarre.

Em, so he saw you with a shirt over your head sunbathing and was worried you were ill, you sat up so he realised you weren't and instead of having a bit of a laugh about the misunderstanding when you went back to the gate he had a go at you? That's ridiculous 😂
I am actually a man, me and partner were at the beach and I had my top off at the showers for the beach at the car park, baggy swimming shorts and sliders. I went to the toilet before going into the shower and a man saw me coming out of the toilet and approached me and shouted I shouldn't be walking about like that. He then saw my partner and soon as he saw her he tried to back out and make out he was joking but we both agreed he wasn't. It was very strange. So I doubt he would have had go at you if your husband was there.

One of them had started to approach the OP but retreated when she sat up.

They were obviously concerned but they worded their concern badly. It was nice that there were checking all was okay.

It's just another variation of 'cheer up and smile, it may never happen'. Men are still looking for ways to control what women do.

Hence I’d laugh it off…as I said in my post.

sorry yes, you are right , he didn’t come back. However I personally still think that he has behaved wrongly. He could just tell OP with a friendly smile: Glad that you are ok. For a minute we thought you were unwell.
But he clearly tried to tell her off and his friend said that what she did was selfish. So it wasn’t friendly conversation at all, they were trying to make OP feeling bad and that was wrong and inappropriate.

that

but why would you assume everything is because "you are a woman"?

Just smile and say "Oh, right, do you often scold women you do not know in public?" and leave the question in the air as you walk off.

I’m more puzzled why you would have a picnic in the car park rather than in a nicer picnic area.

It's ok to laugh at/tell these people to fuck off you know 😅