Got told off by a random bloke! Is this being selfish?

[AgentPidge]

This was a new one on me and I would like opinions please.
I went out for the day with DH. We went to a National Trust place and took lunch with us. After we'd looked round, we went back to the car, got our lunch and sat in the field next to the carpark. So we were away from everyone but there were lots of people going to and from the carpark, so we could be seen.
After we'd eaten, DH said he wanted to make a work call and would sit in the car. I said I'd stay in the sun for a bit before joining him.
I stretched out on the grass in the sun. I didn't have a sun hat or sunscreen with me but I did have a shirt over my tee shirt so I took the shirt off and draped it over my head. After about ten or 15 minutes I remembered that I'd seen cow poo in the field, and had this vision of finding myself surrounded by cows, so I sat up. There was a bloke walking towards me across the field. He stopped, turned round and went back to the gate, where he was talking to another bloke. I sat there for another minute and they were looking at me and talking. When I got up and walked down to the gate, the conversation went like this (no "Hello" or anything):
Him: You shouldn't do that, you know. Stretch out in a field like that.
Me: Oh, are there cows? I did wonder.
Him: No, not cows. We thought you were ill. You could've fainted, had a heart attack, epileptic fit, diabetic...
Me: Really? So people shouldn't sunbathe?
Him: Not alone, no. You should have someone with you. Unless it's your garden.
Then the friend chimed in: Yes, it's really selfish. We were worried. You shouldn't make people worry like that.

So I thanked them for their concern (through gritted teeth) and went on my way. But it spoilt my day.

Thoughts: How many people having epileptic fits etc bother to drape a shirt over their head? How does he cope on the beach? Does he go round checking? I often go on my own - am I selfish? What about parks? It's common in London parks. Would he have told off a bloke? A friend IRL agrees with him. TIA

What silly men.

You’ve made an entire AIBU post whinging because another human being dared speak to you and express concern for you whilst you’re trying to sunbathe in a field full of cow shit.

I’d be concerned too if I saw some idiot laying in a field with a shirt over their head. I don’t think you realise just how ridiculous you come across.

Then you’ve tried to argue your way through the comments section.

I guess it’s just a slow day for you and you’ve not any friends or family around to annoy with your tedious drama.

Sounds like a bigot forget about it imagine the comments he makes to the women in his family

It would've ruined my day as well. But some of us have feelings.

He didn’t do that. He told her off. Which he would not have done to a man. As others have said

Arsehole alert

Storm in a teacup?

Relax and get q sense if humour fir Gofs sake.

Someone could have had the seizure after they’d had the put the shirt over their head. I have epilepsy and DH doesn’t like me putting things over my head/sunbathing alone for this exact reason in case the item blocked my airways during a seizure.

The man was just trying to look out for you and you’ve got no way to prove whether or not he would have said anything to a man. Can’t anyone do anything nice these days?

Also, please don’t use the word fit. Most people with epilepsy hate it. It’s derogatory and not correct terminology.

Twat moment by the 2 males... should of told them to wind their necks you can do what you want if you want to lie in the sun lie in the sun if you want to role in a cow pat do it 🤣 absolutely nothing to do with them .

Sorry but I personally would have laughed it off.

If they were older men, they were probably sincere in being worried , anyone else that wasn't sure should at least shout out first to make sure your OK before attempting cpr!😂

He might have been just as concerned if a man was lying there, but he damn sure wouldn’t have told them off!

There’s a certain type of man that gets off on telling women how to behave in public. Here’s some that I’ve had recently:

• Shouldn’t be looking on my mobile phone whilst on sitting down on a tube train (I work full time and have two young children. DH works full time too. We don’t have much in the way of extra childcare and can’t afford a cleaner or anything like that. On the tube is often the only alone time I have all day to reply to texts/emails etc. Not that it’s anyone else’s business)
• Got told that I had crossed the road at the wrong spot (I had - I was rushing for a bus and as a grown adult I assessed it as safe and crossed after looking both ways. Again, no one’s business but mine and I bet the man that scolded me wouldn’t have done that to another man)
• Separate occasion - Got told I was standing at a bus stop in the wrong way/position whilst waiting for bus
• on multiple occasions with my kids I’ve been offered helpful ‘advice’
• There was one time it was a woman - I worked nearby and they were working in a local coffee shop, we had got chatting. On finding out I had children I got told that women should always stay home with the kids and should not work.

My point is - some people are just busy bodies - ignore!

And accept being chastised like a kid by a stranger?
Not funny in my book, more like creepy !

I've been chuckling about this ever since I read it earlier.

If I looked out and saw a body sprawled in one of our cattle pastures, where the cattle defecate and urinate, I wouldn't think it was a lone woman sunbathing. I'd think either it was a corpse someone chucked out, or someone trespassing and then passed out with heatstroke or something. If my husband or son were about, they'd go and either poke it with a stick or call for an ambulance, if needed. If I were here alone, I'd call the police.

I guess it's just a cultural difference. In this part of the world we go to the lake, beach, park to picnic or sunbath. No one should bother women in those public places, but this was a cow pasture. The man might have been the farmer. I do know, those men were good men.

Got told that I had crossed the road at the wrong spot (I had - I was rushing for a bus and as a grown adult I assessed it as safe and crossed after looking both ways. Again, no one’s business but mine and I bet the man that scolded me wouldn’t have done that to another man)

Probably an American. I've had that too. Just tell them we live in a free society here 😀

I think we found the man or his mate.

How are you so angry at a woman having a lie down in a park on a hot day... she is not 'idiot' its entirely normal and nothing to do with you.

Being so angry over it to throw personal attacks is bizarre.

Its a fun thread about an encounter with an slight unhinged mysogynistic man who mansplained to a woman about how she needs 'to be careful' and have her husband with her in a field so as not to worry passing men.

OP is also not arguing given most people are in agreement that this man was rude and socially unacceptable. Him say 'are you ok?' would have been fine, what he did was absolutely not 'normal' or 'social acceptable'.

Mumsnet exists exactly for this purpose which you and every user knows yet you took time to stop your day, come look through threads, pick ops, read it and aggressively respond calling her names... guess you have a slow day with no friends or family to bother with your irrational anger over others sunbathing in fields either.

Maybe I,m paranoid but I thought when you sat up and interrupted his walking towards you he and his friend may not have had good intentions and they turned it on you instead

Maybe they are good men, but definitely weird, intrusive and bullying.

But that would be because you're on a huge cattle farm in the middle of nowhere in the US, and I'd be very surprised if there are public footpaths leading through your cattle pastures where the general public might legitimately be walking.

This was not on a farm -- it was on a National Trust property beside a busy car park, where the OP and her husband had just been having a picnic.

Do you know what the National Trust is? Most properties are historic houses and gardens/grounds open to the public. Some also have lands leased out for grazing, something that in the UK isn't incompatible with public access.

Sunbathing or picnicking on NT property would be a completely normal thing to do. And many cattle pastures on private land still have public footpaths or bridleways across them. It's not remotely as if a trespasser suddenly showed up in a recumbent position in the middle of one of your pastures on a US farm.

These men had absolutely no reason to think the OP had been felled by a stroke or suddenly died.

@Petitchat , @RuthandPen
I think @ElaineBurdock 's post was meant to be humourous. It made me chuckle anyway 🤣

OK, thank you! I did ask a friend IRL (yes, I have a couple of those; family too) and she said I was BU and that I should basically feel bad that I'd worried these men. So, MN opinions sought. My own thoughts justified. MN has done its job and I can now sleep soundly.

Oh, and it's lying, not laying - no eggs were involved. You're welcome.

It was what he said, and is the term that I've grown up with, as had he, I imagine. But I take your point, and I won't use that term again. Thank you.

I get what you're saying, but I don't think so. It was too public, and I think they were just bored. I think they may have been bus or coach drivers as when we left the carpark they seemed to be hanging about near the day-trippers' coaches.

Thank you. That expression reminds me of my mum, who funnily enough was Cockney through and through. I had no idea how to spell it, so thanks for correcting me! Yes, you always get people who don't read the OP (Why were you picnicking in a carpark? Couldn't they see your DH on the phone? etc) which is quite entertaining.