Would you take this job with a 3 year old?! I’m torn!

[Amivei]

I have been a stay at home mum since dd. We are ok financially as a family but I have been offered a job of 70k, remote apart from 2 days a month in the office.

I can basically work when I want, assuming I meet client need.

Having not worked since DD was born I am a bit worried about how I will adapt. I feel like at the moment when I drop her at nursery at 9am, by the time I collect her at 4, I have only just had chance to clean and tidy and prep dinner!!

We could do with the extra money just to pay off the mortgage earlier and this would make a massive massive difference. I am so conflicted and worry I might regret it if I start!

If you are paid 70k, you can surely pay a cleaner and not to worry about if you have time for that?

Think you’ve missed the point of this post. If you are a SAHM you do have much more time to spend with your children than if you work full time, that’s just a fact. PP said she’s had a lovely summer with her children, there’s no way a parent who works full time is able to spend as much time during school holidays with their children as someone working FT. If you are able to work full time and be able to be off with your children all the school holidays plus be available for all the school events you are the exception not the rule. Most people can’t take holiday for 13 weeks/year.

WFH with two days in the office a month is an amazing opportunity. If yiu wanted to go back to work when your daughter is 4 at school would such an opportunity be available then? At 3 you could easily extend nursery hours and get a cleaner. Do some meal prep in your lunch hour, grocery deliveries etc.

go for it - it’s good for your mental health to be back in the adult world and you’ll have so much extra spends for amazing holidays etc

A remote job on £70k after 3 years out ? I’d snatch their hand off.

Amongst a lot of my office-based friends, that job sounds like the Holy Grail. I would definitely go for it. You can resign if you really find it too much after 3-6 months, but I bet you won't.

I suspect part of your worry is because you've been out of the workplace for a while. Whilst I didn't have a career break, I did take a full year for maternity leave. I found that:

1. the pace of my life was slower when I was off work. I could take longer over things, so I often did.
2. even after only 12 months off, I was quite apprehensive about whether I would still cut it at work. Would I remember how to do certain procedures? Would I be out of date? What new treatments would there be?

It was completely fine. Actually it was quite nice having adult conversation and thinking about serious things. It was LOVELY being able to go to the loo alone.

In terms of managing the household, as many others have already said, the chores do not belong to you alone. Your partner steps up. You won't find that you need all day to keep the house and prep dinners - all that happened whilst you were working before you had your child. I'd also like to give the following advice:

Good enough is good enough.

Your house may not be kept to the same standard as you are all so busy - that won't kill anyone.
You may have a couple of meals here and there that aren't as prepared from scratch - that's fine

Go for it! I bet you are far more capable than you are giving yourself credit for. AND (can't stress enough) the house is also your partner's. They have a duty to contribute too.

Good luck!

I am worried I won’t have the time to do proper meals or keep on top of running the house. Part of me is desperate to take it and the other part of me thinks it’s a mistake. I only have until Friday to decide.

I think we tend to make the chores fill the time we have.
If you have 7 hours at home now that's a huge amount of time to do some cleaning and make a meal.

You will just have to be a bit more organised and do batch cooking at weekends.
If you're earning £70K you can employ a cleaner for a couple of hours a week if you need to.

The question is more about if the job is what you want and you can do it.

Take it
Give yourself 3 months, if after 3 months it's too much then resign
I think you'll regret trying :)

Child isn't there, she's in nursery
It's very strange. What on earth is the OP doing all day if she cannot tidy and prep evening meal in all that time?

Do it.

If doesn’t work out you can quit. If you don’t take it, you will never know.

It’s good as a woman to be financially independent. The longer you stay out of the job market, the harder that is.

Recipe boxes like gusto or hello fresh save so much time shopping , preping and money. They have a great choice and some are ready in 10 or 20 mins. I have meals for 3 even though there's only 2 of us so have extra for lunches. I only shop for non food items every couple of months and weekly for fruit, bread , milk etc

I’d definitely take it. You will soon find you can fit in cleaning and cooking around your working hours. Blitz with your DP in a couple of hours and keep it tidy and clean as you to along. The ability to WFH means you can put on a wash at lunchtimes or prepare dinner then. Batch cooking or adapting what you eat to quick meals helps too.

I’d go for it. You can always leave it it really doesn’t work out but I’d give it six months to see. Good luck.

Not here to throw shade - but are you at stay at home Mum if your child is being cared for by other people during working hours. For 7 hours a day - assume 5 days a week your child is being cared for outside the home. You are a Mum but you are not ‘staying at home’ for the purposes of being a Mum.

Is that not unemployed or ‘housewife’??

Anyway yes good idea to take the job. Might as well be productive in those 35 hours rather than using that time to make 5 meals and a bit of tidying. Very inefficient use of you time & talents.

Are you a sloth - how can you not manage your life on 6 hours a day!
Accept the job and speed up a bit!

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/money-matters/5399956-when-the-joint-finances-suddenly-arent-so-joint-after-youve-raised-the-kids

Read this thread and learn from it. This could potentially be you in 16 years.

Take the job and maintain your own financial independence. It will be harder to get any job through longer you stay out of working let alone one that pays 70K.

100% this! Honestly what planet are people on.

The majority of working mums I know earn about half of this, are in the office all week & have more than one child.

I’m sure your 70k will stretch to a cleaner once a week !?

(I’m also not at all convinced you can take a 3+ year career break and walk back into a 70k job where you choose your own hours & only have to go to an office twice a month, but hey ho!)

OMG take the job.

Give it a try, if it doesn't work out you'll have lost nothing - and you will have gained some more money for a while.

If you're earning £70k you can easily afford a cleaner once a week, order groceries online and outsource any ironing. You'll still be quids in by a long shot.

However don't burn yourself out.

Good luck.

Haha I don’t think OP is in danger of burning herself out!

Go for it. The more time you have the less efficient you become. You get more organised when you have less time.

If you can't take on a job mainly working from home when you child is at nursery full time, how will you ever be able to work?
Do you need to wait till she's left school at 18?

You're never going to have more time than you have now, so how does that fit with your plans for your career?

When mine were that age I was working mornings only and had to fit in everything within 3 hours before school pick up time at 3pm.
It's do-able.

You need to be organised.

Def take it

i know what you mean but it’s surprising how much more you do when working. You can def fit it in

What job is it? Sounds like a great salary.

bloody hell, bite their arm off!! on a more sensible note give it a try. If it doesn't work you can stop again.

You didn't make this baby on your own, your partner should be sharing the household burden. You should not readily give up the opportunity to have a decent well paid job, using your skills, feeding your pension fund, validating your contribution to the family and to the world, unless you really want to be able stay at home parent. Your partner could share drop off and pick ups, mental and physical household load, and if he is so busy and so well paid, he can pay someone or several people to take some of his share of the physical load. He should not duck out of the mental load.. (IMO!!)

Hell yes. If in time it doesn't work out, then resign. You won't know until you try. As others have said with that salary, you can afford a cleaner, actually a housekeeper or what about a full time nanny. A friend of mine is a nanny and she cooks, cleans and irons too!