Would you take this job with a 3 year old?! I’m torn!

[Amivei]

I have been a stay at home mum since dd. We are ok financially as a family but I have been offered a job of 70k, remote apart from 2 days a month in the office.

I can basically work when I want, assuming I meet client need.

Having not worked since DD was born I am a bit worried about how I will adapt. I feel like at the moment when I drop her at nursery at 9am, by the time I collect her at 4, I have only just had chance to clean and tidy and prep dinner!!

We could do with the extra money just to pay off the mortgage earlier and this would make a massive massive difference. I am so conflicted and worry I might regret it if I start!

After a week or two it will be like you never had time out 🤗

I know a lot of people in this boat, myself included. I've had my job since before covid when we went full time WFH and not gone back to the office. We can go to a local office if we want but most of us don't as we work with international teams and clients who we aren't seeing face to face anyway.

My employer probably gets more than before covid as I don't have to rush for a train home.

Do you live in a big farmhouse, or multi story victorian house? Unless so, I don't see why you'd think you wouldn't manage tbh. When you have less time, you get more done. My DD is a LP and works 7am-4pm Monday-Friday. She meal preps before bed and does extra portions when cooking curries/stews etc. How do you think the test of the country manages? I clean and do laundry for my youngest DD, I give her around six hours a week, because I get on with it, it's easily done, but her house is completely uncluttered.

Obviously there’s a limit and cut off somewhere but I totally buy into the ‘the busier you are the more you achieve’ mentality. When I was on mat leave I couldn’t see how I could go back to work but I did and it didn’t take that long to adapt. As others have said with it being mainly remote you are around the house to keep on top of things like putting a wash on and online shopping arriving. Despite having a 3 year old i manage to exercise 4 times a week taking 40 mins each time - something that I never would have thought possible but it just requires organisation and discipline.

Your husband/partner will need to take on 50% of running the house, you need to change your mindset - you can't take this job and continue running the house as you have been, you would be doing too much.

I would take it. The flexibility sounds amazing and when DD starts school that will be a priority for you.

Hire a cleaner and get DH to step up.

Take the job and have some mental stimulation outside of day to day housework. Your DH will need to do more. You will also be good role modeling for your DD to see you work and see her dad also cook, tidy and clean! You need some independence and financial protection of your own.

Yes. I’d take the job and get a cleaner to do 2-3hrs a week at £50 so that you can focus on DC and DH when not working. As others say, if you find it hard to manage you can leave, but more often a company will look at reduced hours and other alternatives rather than lose you completely.

It’s a no brainer as far as I can see… but I am sensing a little loss of confidence after not working for 3 years. I’d tackle that if you can? Talk to a friend, get your DH to give you a pep talk etc, but give it a go as I’m sure you’ll get over the confidence hump and the money will cover a cleaner, after school clubs in due course etc

Only working six hours a day from home with one kid? Piece of pie.

OP you are over thinking and worrying about this. The socialisation will be good for your child and your said the money will be nice.

We have more than one, hybrid work and work full time with kids who do activities four times a week. We eat home cooked healthy meals every night and our house is clean. You learn to do things more efficiently, get more organised and focus on priorities.

Your situation sounds ideal and easy. Go for the job.

Sounds ideal! If you don't like it, you can always quit! Nothing to lose.

Take it, it sounds flexible, pays well, you can involve your DD in food prep when she gets in or batch cook on Sundays.

Take the job! Congratulations OP sounds like an amazing opportunity

70k is a huge huge wage. it's a no brainer. Why is DD in nursery so long if you are a sahm? If you need that much downtime for yourself (which is unusual), I can see why you might struggle. But most parents work full time - not even from home with much younger DC. You will get used to it and worse case, you resign if it really doesn't work for you. I would give it a shot (but for me 70k seem to be a lot more money than for you).

Absolutely take it! Also for house chores download and follow the organised mum method. Game changer!

Sahm for 10 years here - go for it. If it doesn't work out you can always give it up. Getting 70k jobs offered to you will be rarer and rarer.
Do factor in some basics like cleaners, childcare, and how both your dp and you are going to divvy up chores or outsource them to make sure you both have me time, us time and family time.

I agree with this, do more hours in the office so it's clear to your DH and DD that you have an actual real job. Otherwise there is a risk that you will WFH and carry on with the usual housework which will burn you out.

I mean, I earn half that, twice the children, can’t work when I want or do 9-4, DP does his share 50/50 and it’s pretty doable. Doesn’t feel like much of a dilemma to me but I understand it’s always daunting going back after a break.

Going back on those terms and that salary sounds like a piece of piss from where I’m standing. Unless you have a useless partner, a 10-bed mansion or insist on cooking Ottolenghi 25-ingredient recipes, why wouldn’t you be able to get everything done in lunch breaks, weekends, and after 4pm?

Honestly I would take it but meeting client need and your non negotiable times would have to line up, will you need to put 3yr old into nursery earlier to make 9am meetings,
2 days in the office will you need someone else to do drop off and pick ups, if you will need to work weekends to make deadlines will your partner step up

Personally I would take it and like you say overpay mortgage, put some into ISA for child give it a year and reassess.

Defintely will require good time management and out sourcing so don't expect to be everything to everyone

Go for it 😊

I wasn't actually suggesting OP goes to the office more (just realised it could be read that way though, yes!) just saying I would be prepared to take that role even if they were asking for 2 days a week in the office. But it is a very valid point that her DH needs to understand she is working and should step up domestically when she does.

Take the job. Ive worked full time with 2 kids and only breaks for mat leave.
Yes the house is not as clean and tidy as I would like and meals are not cooked from scratch and we have ready meals some nights. But we are happy and life is good.
You have a great opportunity and you should take it. If you hate it and want to go back to being a sahm then you can always leave. But to pass up on a great salary and opportunity in this job market would be crazy. Just give it a go and see how it works.

Take the job. Sounds like an absolute gift.

Take the job, get help in place, give it a go. You may not get another fantastic offer of a well paid flexible job like that again. Even paying for lots of help you'll make a good salary and in time you'll manage to do more life admin.
-Cleaner, or even a housekeeper a couple of mornings a week, get your beds changed and sheets washed, a supermarket delivery received and put away etc,
-consider a superior ready meals like cook.net or a meal kit,
-ironing service,
-gardener,
-window cleaner etc
& get as much as possible done for you.
-Get your partner to do some of this life admin including booking and organising payment for some of it.
Make sure the bit about 2 days a month, in the office, is in your contract so they can't change that to more frequently.
If, even with all the support in place the job is too much consider negotiating a reduction in hours.
I say all this as someone who had to go back to work full time (with a 45 min journey to work) and weekend work in addition to weekday, with two children, one under 2 and the other preschool. Planning is the key, protecting your weekends for time with family is essential. It's exhausting but possible.

What exactly are you doing whilst dd is at nursery? ATM. I mean exactly.

How long does it take you to get home? Do you immediately empty the bins, empty the dishwasher, put a wash on. Decide what to have for dinner and take something out the freezer, or better still take it out the night before. Set eufy to hoover.
I am naturally organised and can have the house looking semi - respectable within about 15 minutes. Then the rest of the day is mine. You'd then have from 10 till 3, 5 hours to yourself, before you even need to think about going to get DD from nursery at 3 pm and the dinner is already ready and the house is semi tidy.

Do you have that mindset already because if not, you're going to need it to get it all sorted in your mind and planned out so it's very easy to handle before you take a job like this.

how can you turn that down?

Yeah, stay at home so you can make proper meals, OP. That’s more important. You don’t want your family living off ready meals.