Would you take this job with a 3 year old?! I’m torn!

[Amivei]

I have been a stay at home mum since dd. We are ok financially as a family but I have been offered a job of 70k, remote apart from 2 days a month in the office.

I can basically work when I want, assuming I meet client need.

Having not worked since DD was born I am a bit worried about how I will adapt. I feel like at the moment when I drop her at nursery at 9am, by the time I collect her at 4, I have only just had chance to clean and tidy and prep dinner!!

We could do with the extra money just to pay off the mortgage earlier and this would make a massive massive difference. I am so conflicted and worry I might regret it if I start!

Is your 3 year old already in nursery daily? If so YABU for thinking you need 7 hours/days to cook and clean.

If your three year old is not in nursery full time YANBU for turning down a full time position at this stage. Three is very young and choosing to prioritise spending this time with them is a valid choice.

I'm a sahm and I wouldn't. I've had a lovely summer with my dcs and I enjoy spending school holidays with them, and even though the eldest does activity camps they've often been short days and a bit of a distance away, which would be hard to fit in with working hours. I'd find it annoying to have to be one of the parents who misses primary school events too, and to not be able to ferry my dcs to after school clubs they want to do. Obviously people do make it work, but there are always compromises and I don't really need the money so I prefer more flexibility over my time.

Op its a no brainer you need to give it a go. Although I'd be tempted to ask about doing 4 days rather than 5.

The extra tax and childcare costs for 5 days probably isn't worth the stress.

You've had 3 years off work, leave it much longer and it will be very difficult to get back into work at that sort of level.

Absolutely I'd take it.
As much as I didn't mind faffing around at home, I also knew that I didn't want my dds 'normal' to be a home where the mum just cooks and cleans and takes on all the menial tasks. I did not want to be that role model.
It's also super important to have something outside of the children and a job is a perfectly valid something. When I didn't have the time to get everything around the house done, I wasn't expected to. Everyone pitched in
Look at all the women on here who end up in shit situations because the breakup they never expected happened and they have nothing. No current skills, no motivation to make changes because they don't know how to pivot,

It's a great opportunity OP, hope it works out well whichever choice you make :)

Take it. You will adapt and remember your child is getting older too. Can husband help more around house. It's not just the salary and conditions which are great, but you will be taking care of yourself with regards to pension and career progression as well.

How many hours a week do you think you would need to work?

it sounds too good an opportunity not to try and if doesn’t work out you resign

The more time pressures there are, the more it forces us to do things more efficiently, so don’t see it as you can’t fit in because of how you manage your day now but more of how can you find more efficient ways of doing what you do now?

OP, 4pm finish is living the dream.

You’ll manage, otherwise do you plan on not working until your child can reliably cook for themselves?!

take the job and try it.

Take the job.
if in a year it’s not working out, quit, But if you don’t take the job you’ll wonder what if. Almost fully remote roles paying 70k pa are few and far between.

P.S get a cleaner, and meal prep / get one of those meal prep delivery services a few nights.

That’s what parental leave is for.
And if OP is remote, it’s unlikely they’ll miss school concerts etc because they will be able to flex around it.

hire a cleaner. cooking doesn’t take all day esp if you prep night before

Yes, take the offer.
You can arrange other things around your DD and job with the help of your partner and outsourcing some tasks.

Take the job

Im fascinated what you do all day!

With that money, get a cleaner in (more than once a week, if necessary) and some back up quality ready meals. Take the pressure off and facilitate the transition

This post can only be a wind up. Even getting past the fact of the job landing in your lap I can’t fathom how there can be so much mess and prep with one child who is in nursery. This can’t be real, surely?! I don’t see how you could take it with the existing lack of time management.

It’s all about organisation and delegation. I would be lost without a cleaner for example. Meal planning at the weekend elevates a lot of stress. An online shop might help.

Why not accept the job and give it a go for a few months? If you feel it's too much, you can go back to the way you are now

You will be fine just sort your time management. Bulk cook and clean at weekend

Definitely yes! This sounds like too good an opportunity to miss. It's also good to have financial independence.

I'm guessing this is just nerves having been out of work for a while. If so, go for it! You will not find a better opportunity that pays well and fits around family life. As for the stuff you do during the day (not sure what takes 6 hours), you'll fit it in.

If you're saying all this because you don't really want to work then admit that to yourself and accept your choices. Again, you will not find a better opportunity thag fits around family life.

You'll manage between you and dh. I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. We're out of the house from 6.40am to 6.15pm x5 days a week and we manage. Go for it, you won't regret it. Make sure dh splits the chores with you. If I cook, he cleans and vice versa. Good luck in your new job 🎉

Of course. Any woman relying on a man to support her and a child is a fool.

If you find it hard buy in help, like a cleaner.

Fascinating. As a lone parent and a high earner I’ve managed to do all these things and go to work. Working mums don’t suddenly lose the ability to attend school events, run kids to summer camps etc. honestly breath taking naivety.

OP take the job.

I went back to work 4 days a week in the office with a 6 month old and a 2 year old. It would exhausting but we managed.

It will be doddle 2 days a month in the office the rest from home.

You need to be organised. Have you got ADHD?

You would be crazy not to take this job. Great salary, very flexible work schedule. Get on it!!

Take it. The longer you are out of the workforce, the harder it is to find a job in a career that pays well. I’ve been there.