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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I can squeeze into a 5 person car with just 2 other people

161 replies

Emma6cat · 26/08/2025 16:37

I have a trip planned from the north of England to the south coast on Friday to see my Son off who will be away for a year. Originally I was planning to drive down but since then I have been plagued with neck arthritis and its painful to drive long distances. I asked my Sister who is also going down (driving) if I could go in the car with them (her and my dad) to be told no the car would be full. Now granted they are going down for a week, but surely the boot and three back seats wouldn't all be taken up by luggage? AIBU to think surely they could squeeze me in. I am now looking at the train, 3 changes and lengthy trip bearing in mind I will have my luggage with me. My neck, collarbone and shoulder are constantly sore and I am taking medication for this. Just feel a bit hurt tbh!

OP posts:
BUMCHEESE · 26/08/2025 16:38

YANBU - are they going camping in a Mini or something?

Mrsttcno1 · 26/08/2025 16:38

In fairness when we used to go away for a week in the car there was literally never any space left in our car, boot, back seats etc were always all full

Octavia64 · 26/08/2025 16:39

You can book assistance on trains.

it can be a bit hit and miss but it’s better than nothing.

can’t comment on the car - I wouldn’t have space but I travel with a wheelchair so…..

Blueuggboots · 26/08/2025 16:39

Could you ask them to take your luggage if they’re not prepared to take you? Seems pretty mean to me, but at least you could travel without the extra load?

Ddakji · 26/08/2025 16:40

The only person who can answer this is your sister, surely. Why can’t you ask her?

minipie · 26/08/2025 16:41

As for fitting in the car, it depends, I’d have thought so but if they are camping or taking dogs it might be different.

But how would you get back? Are you planning to stay for a bit or overnight and head straight back - if it’s straight back then you won’t have much luggage will you, just change of underwear/top and washpack.

How is your son getting there or is he down south already? It seems a hell of a journey for you just to see him off.

niadainud · 26/08/2025 16:41

So you mean AIBU to think I can squeeze into a five-person car?

SunnyD4ys · 26/08/2025 16:42

How do we know without any indication of the size of the car or what else will be in it?

Original poster
Emma6cat · 26/08/2025 16:42

Its a Ford Puma so not exactly a small car

OP posts:
CatAsstrophe · 26/08/2025 16:42

YANBU.

Unless they're going camping and taking the kitchen sink in addition to all other camping stuff, then it seems mean of your sister to refuse. Is there a backstory?

Original poster
Emma6cat · 26/08/2025 16:45

They are staying in a posh apartment on the waterfront self catering. I did suggest at the beginning that we all stay together somewhere to keep the cost down. But my Sister booked the apartment for her and my dad, I am staying in a Travelodge.

OP posts:
BruisedNeckMeat · 26/08/2025 16:45

Are you going to exactly the same place or will you joining mean a significant detour for them?

Original poster
Emma6cat · 26/08/2025 16:46

Blueuggboots · 26/08/2025 16:39

Could you ask them to take your luggage if they’re not prepared to take you? Seems pretty mean to me, but at least you could travel without the extra load?

I Will ask this

OP posts:
Original poster
Emma6cat · 26/08/2025 16:47

BruisedNeckMeat · 26/08/2025 16:45

Are you going to exactly the same place or will you joining mean a significant detour for them?

No same place, no detour needed

OP posts:
minipie · 26/08/2025 16:47

I was going to say, maybe they are worried you will try to tag onto their holiday. And with your update about suggesting staying with them, that sounds even more likely.

5foot5 · 26/08/2025 16:47

As @minipie said, how will you get back? I assumed that the issue with getting a lift with your sister is that she is planning to stay down for a week so won't be able to bring you back if you are staying for less than that.

soupyspoon · 26/08/2025 16:50

Im surprised at these responses. When we go on holiday our luggage takes up the boot and the rear seats. There wouldnt be room to fit anyone in the car with us. 2 adults.

Original poster
Emma6cat · 26/08/2025 16:50

minipie · 26/08/2025 16:41

As for fitting in the car, it depends, I’d have thought so but if they are camping or taking dogs it might be different.

But how would you get back? Are you planning to stay for a bit or overnight and head straight back - if it’s straight back then you won’t have much luggage will you, just change of underwear/top and washpack.

How is your son getting there or is he down south already? It seems a hell of a journey for you just to see him off.

I am coming back after 3 days by train (as have no choice). My Son is already down there training before he goes away for a year, so I would like to see him off.

OP posts:
Original poster
Emma6cat · 26/08/2025 16:51

Blueuggboots · 26/08/2025 16:39

Could you ask them to take your luggage if they’re not prepared to take you? Seems pretty mean to me, but at least you could travel without the extra load?

I will ask this

OP posts:
MounjaroMounjaro · 26/08/2025 16:51

So they will travel alone and say there's no room for you, even though you're all going to the same place? They sound incredibly selfish.

Can you fly down?

What does your dad say?

Original poster
Emma6cat · 26/08/2025 16:53

minipie · 26/08/2025 16:47

I was going to say, maybe they are worried you will try to tag onto their holiday. And with your update about suggesting staying with them, that sounds even more likely.

No its not really a holiday for them, they too are doing the journey to see my Son off, but granted they are staying a little longer as they dont work so they said they may as well.

OP posts:
Original poster
Emma6cat · 26/08/2025 16:55

MounjaroMounjaro · 26/08/2025 16:51

So they will travel alone and say there's no room for you, even though you're all going to the same place? They sound incredibly selfish.

Can you fly down?

What does your dad say?

He says its up to my Sister

OP posts:
Ddakji · 26/08/2025 16:56

Emma6cat · 26/08/2025 16:55

He says its up to my Sister

Show quote history

There’s clearly a back story here,‘isn’t there?

SriouslyWhutNow · 26/08/2025 16:57

Emma6cat · 26/08/2025 16:46

I Will ask this

Show quote history

So this has changed from "surely they can squeeze li'l ol' me in" to "I have enough bags that taking them on public transport is cumbersome"
Well it's no wonder there's no room in the car for you AND your stuff when they and their stuff need to fit is it? You are being very entitled in this thread tbh.

Original poster
Emma6cat · 26/08/2025 16:57

CatAsstrophe · 26/08/2025 16:42

YANBU.

Unless they're going camping and taking the kitchen sink in addition to all other camping stuff, then it seems mean of your sister to refuse. Is there a backstory?

Edited

No back story as such other than my Sister lives at home and her and my dad do a lot of things together

OP posts: