To think I can squeeze into a 5 person car with just 2 other people

[Emma6cat]

I have a trip planned from the north of England to the south coast on Friday to see my Son off who will be away for a year. Originally I was planning to drive down but since then I have been plagued with neck arthritis and its painful to drive long distances. I asked my Sister who is also going down (driving) if I could go in the car with them (her and my dad) to be told no the car would be full. Now granted they are going down for a week, but surely the boot and three back seats wouldn't all be taken up by luggage? AIBU to think surely they could squeeze me in. I am now looking at the train, 3 changes and lengthy trip bearing in mind I will have my luggage with me. My neck, collarbone and shoulder are constantly sore and I am taking medication for this. Just feel a bit hurt tbh!

I feel there's a LOT more to this story; your sister always treats you like shit and everyone accepts "oh you know Sarah, that just what she's like". No-one ever challenges her on her meanness (is it always aimed at you?)

It's a piss take, presume he's in the navy too? So not only saying goodbye a year saying goodbye for him to do potentially a dangerous job, it would be nice to have the journey with your family supporting you...you'd think!? Can't believe they haven't thought of that, I'd travel with a tiny handbag to fit another family member in, ridiculous.

There seems to be more to this!!! So mean...

Also you said camping but the mentioned a self catering apartment? If camping can see that the car may be full, but if going to a apartment surely they can fit you in.

Do you usually get on?

I have a puma and the boot isn't all that small. They also have a 80 litre 'hidden' storage box under the floor of the boot. It's definitely enough to cope with luggage for 3 adults, one teenager and a dog going away for a long weekend.

Even if they needed to fold down two of the rear seats for extra luggage space there would still be room for the OP to squeeze into the third seat.

I just remembered that I can often not see out of the back window because ours is piled up. I think if it was further moved over to allow for the one seat to be used, the person would get crushed by things falling on them when we went round a corner!!

Some of these replies are ridiculous. Of course it is hurtful to exclude the OP in these circumstances. To say otherwise is perverse.
OP, I think your sister is nasty and your dad is weak.
I hope you have a lovely time with your son. Shame she has to be there.

I know someone who got rid of their Ford Puma because there was so little space for luggage.
But also different people take different amount of stuff, and it depends on what they're planning on doing. Self catering where they're planning lots of different activities takes more than all inclusive-the-furthest-I'm-planning-on-moving-is-the-pool.
And if this has been announced at the last minute, which it sounds like it, then they may have things booked, so not want to change.

But if the Op's only going up to see her ds off for a night, then surely her luggage will be no more than either a small backpack or a small push along suitcase. And a train is far more comfortable because you can move around and get up etc for back and neck pain. A car, especially the back of the car if it doesn't have head rests is really uncomfortable, and I'm speaking from experience here - I'd far rather go on a train than a car with neck pain. She can book assistance to carry the luggage so she won't have to do much carrying.

They live 15 mins from me and have to pass mine to get on the motorway

Yes - but the OP is being very monosyllabic in her responses, it’s like getting blood out of a stone. She needs to talk to her sister, not MN!

I have an audi A3 hatchback, which I think is a bit smaller than a Ford Puma?

When hubby and I go on holiday we normally fill the car right up to the gunnels (with the back seats down to increase luggage space), but that's partly because we do lots of different things, so we need lots of kit (eg hiking boots, snorkels & flippers) that take up space.

However in a situation like this I would definitely make room to squeeze a family member in, especially if it's only for a few days. Though they might have to sit with luggage packed all around them 😀

OP, you mention having luggage. Would your wheelchair also have to fit in the car? I can see why it may be tight. But equally, the additional details about not including you in the ‘posh’ place they’ve booked seems like there is more to the story. Your tone on that issue seems to suggest you feel excluded and upset. I know others have already asked, but what’s the back story?

Never mentioned camping at all. Yes we usually get on, but since my mum died her and my dad have become very close. She has no children, and my Son and I are their only family. However it does seem to be me making all the plans, it was me who invited them to see my Son off and the suggestion of sharing the accommodation. I never expected to not be driving as I am coming back earlier, but now I cant drive far was thinking i could jump in with them.

Your sister is a cow and your Dad is useless. I don't usually go in for tit for tat, but I think it's reasonable here.

You definately need to spend some time with just your son, if he's free he can meet you from the train, have some meals out just you and him. You don't have to play nice with your sister and 'share' the moment with her.

YANBU!
I could never do that to family. They would fit in one way or another. How much stuff can two people possibly need for a week in an apartment?

So your son is going away for a year and you, your DSis and DDad want to travel down to see him off. They decided to stay for a week but you can only stay for 3 days. They have booked an apartment while you are in a travelodge. I think this makes sense rather than paying for a larger apartment for whole week. You were planning to drive yourself there and back but now can't and want them to drive you there, but take the train back. It does seem odd that they won't accommodate this. But they may well think if you can manage the train one way why you can't do both. I imagine all the reasons will be linked to backstory and state of your relationships with one another rather than anything posters can provide an explanation for.

As to the pps saying that of course your sister couldn't fit you in the car - it's a one week trip, how much stuff do they need to bring?

We used to go to a campsite in France for 2 weeks when we were kids - 2 adults, 2 or 3 kids, bags with clothes, beach towels, toys, teabags etc etc and we fit in a regular car.

So what did you sister say when you asked her how you wouldn't fit in the car?

That sounds very mean. Its your son after all.
What luggage are you and they taking? We go as a family of four for a weeks self catering in a normal car with all our luggage.

Your sister just doesn't want to spend time with you. Not to drive you and not to share accommodation. It could be sorted so easily and most families woild do it automatically, she just doesnt want to.

Even if space was a problem, you don't make someone take 3 trains if they're going to the aame destination. You figure it out. You don't just say no.

Its a don't want to, not a can't.

I think there might be some confusion over the Ford Puma bit. There is a fairly small older Puma, which might be tight for three adults and all the luggage (but not impossible). The new Puma is a decent sized SUV, and if the dad and sister are travelling in one of those, they are being very unreasonable in not giving the OP a lift even just one way.

If its tricky by train, OP, would you be able to go by coach?

The current Puma is a Fiesta on stilts surely, not an SUV, and sits at the bottom of Ford’s range. It’s definitely not big - Avis in Nice have them quite often so I have driven a few. But there’s plenty of room for 3 people, as long as they are not all six foot four. There is something other than the size of car at play here…

I think your sister is being horrible. Can your son come to meet you half way?

That sounds very selfish. I can't understand that at all

Is your ds in the navy?

Don’t be stupid. We don’t have the whole story so no the replies are not ridiculous at all. Maybe the sister is nasty but equally there may be a reasonable explanation why they can’t take op. We only have one side of the story. I hate it when people who grow up in a Walton’s style family think everyone else does too or believe family should trump every thing else. Not for everyone it doesn’t. I’m sorry for op but she needs to speak with her sister and dad to see if there is something else going on.