Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I can squeeze into a 5 person car with just 2 other people

161 replies

Emma6cat · 26/08/2025 16:37

I have a trip planned from the north of England to the south coast on Friday to see my Son off who will be away for a year. Originally I was planning to drive down but since then I have been plagued with neck arthritis and its painful to drive long distances. I asked my Sister who is also going down (driving) if I could go in the car with them (her and my dad) to be told no the car would be full. Now granted they are going down for a week, but surely the boot and three back seats wouldn't all be taken up by luggage? AIBU to think surely they could squeeze me in. I am now looking at the train, 3 changes and lengthy trip bearing in mind I will have my luggage with me. My neck, collarbone and shoulder are constantly sore and I am taking medication for this. Just feel a bit hurt tbh!

OP posts:
MounjaroMounjaro · 26/08/2025 16:58

So they want to have part of your family time yet don't treat you as part of the family?

ginasevern · 26/08/2025 16:59

So they're actually going to exactly the same place for exactly the same reason as you - which is to see your son off! There's only 2 of them in a large 5 seater car and they're only staying for a week? Well OP, the simple answer is that both of them, or one of them, doesn't want you. I assume there must be some animosity somewhere along the line and that this isn't a complete and utter shock to you.

soupyspoon · 26/08/2025 17:00

MounjaroMounjaro · 26/08/2025 16:58

So they want to have part of your family time yet don't treat you as part of the family?

What?

Because they cant fit her in the car and it was never planned to be so?

Emma6cat · 26/08/2025 17:02

SriouslyWhutNow · 26/08/2025 16:57

So this has changed from "surely they can squeeze li'l ol' me in" to "I have enough bags that taking them on public transport is cumbersome"
Well it's no wonder there's no room in the car for you AND your stuff when they and their stuff need to fit is it? You are being very entitled in this thread tbh.

I will travel light believe me. Its not really about the luggage as I am having to get the train back anyway. I just thought they would have room to let me go down with them, especially as my circumstances have changed due to ill health, just to make the whole journey I little easier.

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 26/08/2025 17:03

They sound horrible! Won’t let you share an apartment, won’t let you come in their care. I’d make room!

My 2 x DC are teens so take up as much room as adults. We fit in a VW UP with all our stuff for trips - we just pack relatively light and make it work!

Emma6cat · 26/08/2025 17:04

MounjaroMounjaro · 26/08/2025 16:58

So they want to have part of your family time yet don't treat you as part of the family?

When you put it like that, it seems so.

OP posts:
Shedmistress · 26/08/2025 17:04

Does she hate you or something?

itsgettingweird · 26/08/2025 17:05

I think it’s one of those times I’d have to be petty back and make sure your son meets just you when your there and tell them there’s no room for them to join you.

Where are you catching the train from and to? If you download the passenger assistance app you can book the help and me and ds travel on trains (south coast) a lot and they are really good at assistance (he’s a wheelchair user)

rebeccachoc · 26/08/2025 17:05

Can you offer to buy a roof rack for the luggage and if that's genuinely the problem they will take you up on it and if its not, you know they are just making excuses.

Mosaic123 · 26/08/2025 17:07

It seems so mean of them. If they agree to taking your luggage down could you travel home with a very small bag and leave the clothes for them to bring back?

Thebigonesgetaway · 26/08/2025 17:07

MounjaroMounjaro · 26/08/2025 16:58

So they want to have part of your family time yet don't treat you as part of the family?

To be fair her son is their family. They are not some randoms tacking on.

op, are you sure there isn’t a back story in terms of the relationship with your sister and you?

Thebigonesgetaway · 26/08/2025 17:10

Also do you live close to them? Is it easy foe them to get to you?

SummerFrog25 · 26/08/2025 17:11

Your sister sounds like a nasty cow. How old is she? Does she just need to grow up??

people come before eleventy billion pairs of shoes & make up bags. You're his MUM (their daughter & sister) they should be helping you get there as painlessly as possible!

they're staying in an apartment for a week, they don't need enough stuff to fill a Ford Puma.

though given they didn't want to share accommodation with you, in the beginning, there seems to be much more history here!

I'm sorry x

TheCurious0range · 26/08/2025 17:11

soupyspoon · 26/08/2025 16:50

Im surprised at these responses. When we go on holiday our luggage takes up the boot and the rear seats. There wouldnt be room to fit anyone in the car with us. 2 adults.

What size is your car I used to have a Citroen c2 when I was in my twenties, could barely fit an overnight bag in the boot, but most ordinary sized 5 seat cars you'd get your luggage in the boot and surely have one space in the back free? We drive to the Netherlands me DH and DS and the car is full (semi self catering) but we don't have a roof box and DS' car seat is quite bulky

MounjaroMounjaro · 26/08/2025 17:12

soupyspoon · 26/08/2025 17:00

What?

Because they cant fit her in the car and it was never planned to be so?

Clearly they can fit her into the car. They want to celebrate with her son as he goes off for a year, but don't want her son's mother in their car for the journey there. It's really nasty.

Seawolves · 26/08/2025 17:12

I drive a Puma and I can't imagine why there wouldn't be room in a Puma for a third person and their luggage. I have managed three of us and associated luggage in mine (and my little one has much more luggage than the average person as he comes with lots of extra kit as a medically complex child).

Minxny · 26/08/2025 17:13

You are asking us whether your sister is being unreasonable. Without her side of the story it's unknowable for us.

There are so many things it could be that we couldn't possibly guess at. Maybe you are a terrible backseat driver. Maybe they are dropping a washing machine off to Auntie Mabel on the way. Maybe you didn't share your mars bar with her in 1998 and this is her payback.

You could try asking her whether there is a specific issue that you could put right, but you might just have to accept that her answer is no.

BaronessBomburst · 26/08/2025 17:13

The Puma doesn't have much boot space but even so you should be able to fit three people in it for a week self-catering. We have a Ford Focus and go on a three week road trip every year with three people but would easily fit in a fourth.
What on earth are they taking with them?
Your sister comes across as as rather selfish and unkind.

Thebigonesgetaway · 26/08/2025 17:13

MounjaroMounjaro · 26/08/2025 17:12

Clearly they can fit her into the car. They want to celebrate with her son as he goes off for a year, but don't want her son's mother in their car for the journey there. It's really nasty.

I don’t know, I think there is more to this, and it’s not rare to have a good relationship with nephew/nieces but not the parent. The fact they aren’t staying together, the dad won’t get involved. Says there is something more here.

MounjaroMounjaro · 26/08/2025 17:14

Does your son get on well with them? It would be great if he could tell them not to bother coming if they can't treat his mum well.

minipie · 26/08/2025 17:16

Oh so they are also going down to see off your son?

In that case it seems bizarre that they won’t let you ride or stay with them and I’m afraid the only explanation I can think of is that one of them just doesn’t enjoy your company. Hurtful as that is.

itsgettingweird · 26/08/2025 17:17

MounjaroMounjaro · 26/08/2025 17:14

Does your son get on well with them? It would be great if he could tell them not to bother coming if they can't treat his mum well.

Actually that’s not a bad shout.

couldn’t say if they aren’t going to help facilitate your visit he has no interest in being part of theirs?

mnahmnah · 26/08/2025 17:18

If I can fit me, two kids, a dog and all our associated stuff in a Mini for two weeks away in this country, of course they can fit you! I can’t believe they would see you getting several trains with your luggage while suffering the pain you are. They sound awful.

BagGreen24 · 26/08/2025 17:18

Emma6cat · 26/08/2025 16:42

Its a Ford Puma so not exactly a small car

Ford Pumas are very small and have a tiny boot so maybe they are being truthful.

soupyspoon · 26/08/2025 17:20

TheCurious0range · 26/08/2025 17:11

What size is your car I used to have a Citroen c2 when I was in my twenties, could barely fit an overnight bag in the boot, but most ordinary sized 5 seat cars you'd get your luggage in the boot and surely have one space in the back free? We drive to the Netherlands me DH and DS and the car is full (semi self catering) but we don't have a roof box and DS' car seat is quite bulky

A Note. Not a small car, looked up that Puma, not sure if Im looking at the right models but the car doesnt look substantiall different in size

We put the back seats down and the entire back is our suitcases, various ruck sacks, the cool bag of bits and bobs (we're always self catering), a box of car emergency items like wipes, screen stuff, spare bulbs, blanket, other car bits that I cant remember, oil and whatnot. If its summer we have our wetsuits/dry robes. If its winter we have various bags and boxes with boots and coats in. We may or may not take our folding beach chairs and windbreak but even if we dont there wouldnt be room for a person to sit in it, let alone any bags.
If we take our bikes then there are our panniers which are quite large, and bike equipment, waterproofs, bike covers, locks and chains etc. Theres always a big shopping bag of snacks and nibbles.

OH has a whole bag, like a laundry bag sized bag of boots and shoes. We both have a rucksack each of medication. Plus his laptop and a massive bag of electricals/chargers etc.

And most threads on here I often read that people take spare kitchen equipment when they travel, I hear of people taking frozen meals, or air fryers!! Irons and spare baking trays and foil and stuff.