To think I can squeeze into a 5 person car with just 2 other people

[Emma6cat]

I have a trip planned from the north of England to the south coast on Friday to see my Son off who will be away for a year. Originally I was planning to drive down but since then I have been plagued with neck arthritis and its painful to drive long distances. I asked my Sister who is also going down (driving) if I could go in the car with them (her and my dad) to be told no the car would be full. Now granted they are going down for a week, but surely the boot and three back seats wouldn't all be taken up by luggage? AIBU to think surely they could squeeze me in. I am now looking at the train, 3 changes and lengthy trip bearing in mind I will have my luggage with me. My neck, collarbone and shoulder are constantly sore and I am taking medication for this. Just feel a bit hurt tbh!

How do people with kids manage?

if it’s impossible to fit 2 adults plus luggage for a week in a normal size vehicle, where do people put their kids?

Or are people taking two cars to Stansted for their week in the Costa del Sol? It must cost a fortune in excess baggage as well.

it’s ridiculous. Of course you can fit 2 adults, two kids and luggage for a week in one car. My kids are both late teens and we go away every year. All of us plus luggage in a ford focus.

anyone taking one car for two people plus luggage is seriously overpacking.

I agree... why is she being so mean? they've really made this all about them haven't they.

I think you should make whatever arrangements you can to get there and stuff their car journey.

Make plans for what you want to do with your son directly with him, don't let them dictate how you spend your time once you are there, she's shown you how she wants to behave. You are only there for 3 days. They are there for longer so you have priority.

You should re think your relationship with her after this. Dont let her treat you like this again.

Odd, unless you have form for expecting lifts and shared accomodation without paying your way?

I cannot believe they are travelling to see your son but are not offering you a lifts.

As you say their cases in the boot. You and your small case in the back seat.

How selfish of your sister.

I would un-invite them to spending any time with your DS except one quick lunch for DS sake.

As pp have put, there's clearly a back story. Even more distant family would offer a lift if possible, and why is your dad agreeing with your sister?

Her sister won't give her a lift because there's no room because they are taking their stuff as planned originally

And the OP was catching the train back anyway

Does your dad use a wheelchair?

I wont car share any more with my sister as she is a smoker and makes a massive fuss every hour to stop for a cigarette, every excuse going. Makes every single journey significantly longer. She is also awful to be next to in a confined space for a long time as she constantly belches. We went away to the same place on holiday at the start of the summer and she asked why she cannot come in my car and I said we didnt have enough space for the extra luggage. So I wont be to quick to say she is bu.

@Emma6cat ARE sis and dad also going down to see him off?? why is sis going???

Time to phone your dad and have it out with him and bypass your sis!
I'm not sure about that, we're missing information about how old the Dad is and whether he drives that far.
I always think it's best to go directly to the person you have an issue with and not triangulate and drag in other people.
Even if Dad agrees with OP he can't force her sister to take her.

Thanks for update Op. I think there's something going on with your sister. I'd ask her outright why you can't?

Have you asked your dad if he could drive you down instead of your sister driving?

Well we take what we use to be honest and even without any wetsuits (which are only because OH wont go paddling in the sea without it, we're not deep sea divers!) there wouldnt be room for anyone else. The bikes we dont take every time. Im just surprised people would have room.

We stay in a nice cottage too!

We go for day trips out, restaurants, cafes etc. We're not 'hobbyists' - we're just bog standard holiday makers.

Why the assumption it doesnt apply? Personally no a suitcase isnt enough, I cant fit it all in a suitcase. In any case we cant fit 2 suitcases in the boot, so the back seats go down

Like others on the thread the lack of explanation means that we cant comment really.

They sound awful. If not be making plans with them again unless they include you fully.

How much stuff do two adults need for a week away?

We used to go away for two or three weeks at a time in. Peugeot 308 with DS in his car seat in the back and enough stuff for two adults and a baby including the pushchair.

They're taking a trip to see her son off, they're driving past her house, and yet her sister is happy for her to shlep down on the train and her dad is too much of a wet fucking lettuce to get involved.

I genuinely cannot imagine treating someone I loved like that in preference to just, you know, packing a little lighter.

I definitely would have been paying my way, there was never any doubt of that

I definitely would have been paying my way, there was never any doubt of that

Why the assumption it doesnt apply? Personally no a suitcase isnt enough, I cant fit it all in a suitcase. In any case we cant fit 2 suitcases in the boot, so the back seats go down

@soupyspoon Do you take masses of clothes with you? I take a medium suitcase for a week in the UK. I can fit in 3 pairs of trousers, several T shirts, a dress, 2 jumpers, nightwear, loads of undies, and then there's what I wear to travel in, which is another 'outfit'. I take a small holdall with toiletries and shoes etc go in a bag usually in the footwell or a corner of the boot.

Do you have a very small boot?

@Emma6cat
This does seem weird.
Does she know about your ailments?

Could you ask her one last time stating:
I am in a pretty bad way at the moment.
I will just be taking this bag (show her a photo) which can be in the back with me.
I will contribute to petrol

If I go away for the week, I always fill the boot of a car with stuff.

It would be good to know why she has declined, seems like a pretty easy 'ask' to me. Unless there's a huge backstory e.g. you've got form for bringing tonnes of stuff with you on previous occasions

I can't belive people here are saying that lugagge is an acceptable excuse for making a family memeber to take 3 changes with a train when they are going to the same 'event' in the same destination.

@Emma6cat is your ds in the navy? If so there may be a parents support chat or group on Facebook ? You could ask in there if anyone is going from the north.

I got called stupid for saying pretty much this.

I dont really know what the definition is of masses of clothes, perhaps. I normally take around 5 or 6 pairs of shoes, quite a few jackets/coats. I have half a ruck sack of medication and my OH has medication boxes, thats not ideal but has to be taken. He takes around 4 or 5 pairs of shoes.

We cant fit a suitcase in the boot with the 'car box' there anyway, which holds a lot of emergency things in case of breakdown or fixings etc.

Anyway, my point is, and its not helped on the thread by OPs limited responses, there is a huge assumption on the thread that the other pair are simply being horrible, but perhaps they're just full to the brim. Perhaps they're very light packers and that that assumption is right. Perhaps they like to take the kitchen sink and so just cant fit anything else in. Has OP asked this question?

I find on many holiday threads theres a competitive edge of underpacking, look how little I can get away with

There is clearly more to this as it is madness for the three of you to travel to the same place at the same time to do the same thing and not travel together irrespective of your health issues.

Of course the three of you could fit in a standard sized car together, if your sister wanted to take you she clearly could.

As an aside when myself & my husband go on holiday we get all our stuff for a week self catering plus a guitar & exercise gear in the (medium sized car) car with room for three people.

I take one pair of shoes (two at a push) and 1 jacket. Why do you need several jackets/coats?