Plane seats - refused to swap

[Annoyed321]

please bear with me, I really need to vent but I need advice too.

Holiday with DH, 8 year old DD and 5 year old DS. Our seats were allocated away from each other. Not even on same aisle literally scattered on different parts of the plane. DH books and sorts checking in and I don’t usually get involved. He tried to apparently check in 24 hours before the flight but there was an error (he didn’t tell me), he was unable to check in and was advised online chat to see a member of staff at airport when we were flying, we get to check in on day of flight and lady says she can’t sit us together. I pleaded with her to at least let there be one of us sat with each child, no problem about all 4 of us sitting together.

She said to ask people when we get to the seat if anyone will swap with us. When we got there everyone refused, which I don’t really blame them as they checked in and chose their seats we didn’t or couldn’t.

I got very emotional as my 5 year old was crying about not sitting next to me DH as usual was unbothered and was just standing around looking unfazed. I’m really embarrassed about my reaction but he said it’s fine and I said it’s not fine “I’m not having my kids sat in between strangers”. It wasn’t as dramatic as I’m making out as it was over very quickly as the cabin crew we spoke to on boarding were able to allocate 2 seats together. Myself and my 5 year old took it and DH sat 2 rows In front of DD who was sat inbetween 2 men, DH was also sat between 2 guys so made no difference where I put her.

I was upset the entire flight and kept asking DH to keep an eye on DD, DH kept rolling his eyes and ignoring me. I felt like a bad mother leaving my child sat there with strangers. I feel embarrassed incase anyone videoed me at the start asking/pleading with people to please swap seats to allow me to sit next to my 2 kids. I only asked about 2 people and they avoided eye contact and ignored me, again I get it.

advice: DH is old fashioned (or should say a complete knob) he won’t share the booking details of flight with me as he’s worried I will mess up the booking, like I’m a stupid child! So I need advice please how can I make sure I am sat next to my kids on flight back home? I will need a booking reference I know which I will have to keep asking him for but the holiday was booked via Expedia and I think that’s what messed up when was trying to check in online 24 hours before. How can I check in if flights were booked with Expedia? I will call them if he doesn’t share booking ref but I doubt they will speak to me due to data protection. Any advice please?

Please be kind and don’t make me feel worse than I feel. Can anyone at least relate with me about how upset I was about DD sat alone? I am a survivor of childhood SA so my feelings might be out of place but I also read a news article literally a few days before flight if a 15 year old girl getting assaulted by a fellow passenger during a flight do these things do happen.

I noticed this when I flew with Ryan air recently l. Families were seperated.
When you check in 24 hours before your flight, they ask you if you want allocated seats. This is where you choose your seats but you have to pay extra for each seat. Some people don't bother paying the extra. If you want to sit near the children, you have to do it at check in.

We pay a lot of money to be able to all sit together on a flight and book far in advance, so I'm not surprised that other passengers wouldn't swop. I wouldn't.
Your main issue here is that your husband is controlling and way out of order.
You need to demand that he contacts the airline before the flight home.
In future, do yourself a favour, book your own holiday for you and your kids without him!

I recently flew with DS14, and a friend. Her DD15 should have been coming but changed her mind. We paid extra to book two lots of seats together, not near each other but we wanted to be able to sit next to each child. It was done just after the time of booking. My DS ended up choosing to sit by himself and leaving the spare seat next to him, as no-one else was allocated it, but we had a few people offering to swap their seats so he could sit with us, which was kind. But on the issue of your DH controlling the booking (and then don't managing it in a great way) I would be firm with him that you want to be involved.

If I've paid extra for my seat then I'm not giving it up because you've chosen to take the risk and decided the extra 20 quid wasn't worth it.

Well, I think it's rude to expect someone who has paid a seat reservation fee (for reasons that you are not privy to) to move because you didn't want to pay one. I would move it was a like-for-like seat, but I book aisle seats for a personal reason that I'm not going to share with random people on the plane. And, if I have to take a connecting flight, I also book a seat towards the front of the plane so that I can disembark early.

And all the time we were talking about a 5 pound charge 🙄 x 4 .

How does sitting the two children together away from the parents solve potential risks to either children?

I can't believe people seem happy to just accept young children being sat away from their parents, it's not acceptable, the airlines shouldn't do it, and people shouldn't put up with it. The default should always be for young children to be sat next to an adult known to them. This isn't just about protection from abuse, but safety and comfort generally - nobody wants to be sat next to a distressed child who wants their parent and nobody wants to end up being responsible for somebody else's child in an emergency situation.

This is one reason why we have cheap flight tickets - because the airlines know plenty of us will and do pay for chosen seats so they factor that into the price they advertise. It's called making a profit - you know, that thing that is the first and most important priority of a business?

That parent of the distressed child should know in advance that being seated away from their child may cause distress and needs to cough up at the time of payment to be seated by them, not expect me in my paid for window seat to move (which I won't).

Exactly. We went away with my parents a couple of years ago. My Dad paid for us to have 4 seats together (even though we're well past childhood). He paid quite a bit to make sure we had 4 seats together. Why should we give them up because someone else couldn't be bothered.

Same with last year, we paid extra to have 2 bulkhead seats together, there's no way we were going to move when we've paid extra for those seats. Even though we were two adults and could quite easily sit on our own.

You want seats together, you pay the extra.

This reminds me of Vogue Matthews and her entitlement.

Check in online usually opens up to 30 days before departure so if you get him to check you in online now you’re more likely to get to sit together as you have small children. If you leave it til the last minute, as your DH did, you’re more likely to get left either odd seats.

You can reserve seats on BA in advance but you have to pay for it

Depends on the airline. Many don’t open check in until 24 hours before

Not related to your DH problem, but just want to flag to everyone saying that you’re guaranteed to be together if you pay. Because you’re not. I HAVE paid, but received an email this morning to say the aircraft has changed and as such we have new seats - and we’re scattered all over the aircraft. Spent all morning on the phone to the airline with the really annoying theme tune to be told “there’s nothing they can do”. So here I am in Cyprus with an autistic 13yo who is sat in between two strangers on the flight home, and has refused to leave the room all day as a result. Their solution was that I beg people to swap once on the plane…which just isn’t going to happen as I wouldn’t swap if I’d paid either.

I’d be surprised if someone next to your autistic 13 year old ds clearly in distress wouldn’t swap with you.

@bumbalooi honestly can’t see her getting on the transfer bus at this point to even get to the airport. But it’s more the issue of me having to ask people to move too. I shouldn’t have to. Everyone will think I haven’t paid (when I have last September). My eldest daughter and husband are fine with their newly allocated seats, but not the youngest. We’re only on our second day of our holiday and it’s caused a major issue.

Can you contact the airline. Surely being autistic gives her some accommodations they would be stupid not to.

@bumbalooi rang the 24 hour assistance line, told nothing can be done. Did the WhatsApp chat, also told nothing can be done. The aircraft is smaller than the one I booked the seats on, so we’ve been allocated what’s left over from a fully booked plane. They’re saying to get to the airport early and try there, but I can’t dictate what time the transfer bus arrives, and Larnaca airport is always really busy so even if I get a taxi there (£55), there’s no guarantees that we will be able to swap.

Do you have a Travel Rep in your hotel?

(For the poster with the 13yp in Cyprus!)

Geez this whole thread is just going round in circles…

We fly a lot around Europe-on all sorts of different airlines..budget & 'regular'. In every case it is always possible to pre-book seats at the time of booking, and in most it is possible up to 2 hours before flying, subject to availability. Can't speak for the ROTW, but travelling with special seating requirements in UK/Europe is perfectly straightforward..at a cost.
TBH what do people expect?? Airlines are in business to make a profit. Budget airlines in particular charge passengers for pretty much everything they can. If you want premium service-book and pay for a premium airline. If you not flying premium-pay for everything you require. Otherwise you are not entitled to anything special.
And remember that most of the other people travelling alongside you HAVE likely paid for specific seats, food, drinks etc.
Don't leave your check-in process until the last 24 hours unless you are genuinely prepared to take what you are given. That way if there is an 'computer glitch' you still have time to get (and pay for) what you need. And never leave travel arrangements in the hands of one person in the party. Finally-by the sounds of things on this thread-don't ever book travel with Ex**a!!

You have to pay to reserve seats on most airlines. BA is no different from the vast majority.

It's only 24 hours before take off uf you are prepared to accept random seat allocation. You can pay for a seat up to 30 days before that.

@TheNightingalesStarlingyes she is here tomorrow, but basically been told nothing will
change now so I doubt she will be able to help. What’s annoying is they’ve told me there are 6 seats together left, but these are first come, first served at the airport. Despite paying, they won’t allocate me these seats. We can’t get there any earlier than our allotted time. It’s all just a mess. I’ve asked them who will compensate me for spending the next 11 nights in the room as my daughter is refusing to leave, but no reply.

i didn’t want to derail the thread, i just wanted to make people aware that even if you do pay, it’s not guaranteed. I’ve been that person who’s refused to move to allow a family to sit together, as I had paid to sit next to my child. But it’s never crossed my mind that this family might have also paid, and been in the same situation as me. I don’t want to be the person begging people to move, we’re on day 2 of hour holiday and this situation has totally ruined it.

You pay like everyone else. Your husband fucked up, or he's tight. Try to add seats to your return booking online. This problem is not up to anyone else to fix.

But you do seem to have bigger ones.