Plane seats - refused to swap

[Annoyed321]

please bear with me, I really need to vent but I need advice too.

Holiday with DH, 8 year old DD and 5 year old DS. Our seats were allocated away from each other. Not even on same aisle literally scattered on different parts of the plane. DH books and sorts checking in and I don’t usually get involved. He tried to apparently check in 24 hours before the flight but there was an error (he didn’t tell me), he was unable to check in and was advised online chat to see a member of staff at airport when we were flying, we get to check in on day of flight and lady says she can’t sit us together. I pleaded with her to at least let there be one of us sat with each child, no problem about all 4 of us sitting together.

She said to ask people when we get to the seat if anyone will swap with us. When we got there everyone refused, which I don’t really blame them as they checked in and chose their seats we didn’t or couldn’t.

I got very emotional as my 5 year old was crying about not sitting next to me DH as usual was unbothered and was just standing around looking unfazed. I’m really embarrassed about my reaction but he said it’s fine and I said it’s not fine “I’m not having my kids sat in between strangers”. It wasn’t as dramatic as I’m making out as it was over very quickly as the cabin crew we spoke to on boarding were able to allocate 2 seats together. Myself and my 5 year old took it and DH sat 2 rows In front of DD who was sat inbetween 2 men, DH was also sat between 2 guys so made no difference where I put her.

I was upset the entire flight and kept asking DH to keep an eye on DD, DH kept rolling his eyes and ignoring me. I felt like a bad mother leaving my child sat there with strangers. I feel embarrassed incase anyone videoed me at the start asking/pleading with people to please swap seats to allow me to sit next to my 2 kids. I only asked about 2 people and they avoided eye contact and ignored me, again I get it.

advice: DH is old fashioned (or should say a complete knob) he won’t share the booking details of flight with me as he’s worried I will mess up the booking, like I’m a stupid child! So I need advice please how can I make sure I am sat next to my kids on flight back home? I will need a booking reference I know which I will have to keep asking him for but the holiday was booked via Expedia and I think that’s what messed up when was trying to check in online 24 hours before. How can I check in if flights were booked with Expedia? I will call them if he doesn’t share booking ref but I doubt they will speak to me due to data protection. Any advice please?

Please be kind and don’t make me feel worse than I feel. Can anyone at least relate with me about how upset I was about DD sat alone? I am a survivor of childhood SA so my feelings might be out of place but I also read a news article literally a few days before flight if a 15 year old girl getting assaulted by a fellow passenger during a flight do these things do happen.

Instead of you making a fuss when no one swaps get the kids to make a fuss. I can assure you people will swap fast enough if it means they're not sat next to a wailing child.

Doone22 · Today 07:14

Instead of you making a fuss when no one swaps get the kids to make a fuss. I can assure you people will swap fast enough if it means they're not sat next to a wailing child.

I presume you are joking - in very poor taste. If that's how you are raising your kids, to be devious and to manipulate others, then you are seriously lacking in parenting skills.

Entitled adults raise entitled kids.

Just to update DH went to airport yesterday to sort out. We got seats together for journey back and it cost £20.40. So £5.10 each.

I haven’t read all the messages but some of you were so lovely but as usual there were some really nasty people on here who lack comprehension skills! 100% he’s not chancing anything! Yes he he’s not perfect but for the sake of £20 he didn’t do this on purpose. Yes I’m annoyed he didn’t let me help to sort out but we’re not “chancers” like some if you were making it out. It cost triple that amount just to catch taxi there and back yesterday.

the poster telling me my story is flawed and one minute I’m saying this and next minute saying that like WTF! There are countless people who have posted on HERE same happening with them and unable to book seats in advance! It saddens me how nasty people are in real life. I was genuinely upset looking for an outlet.

Tbh it didn’t help posting here! All it took was a trip to airport to sort out. Anyone in a similar situation please don’t get overwhelmed just call up the airline or 3rd party like we did (no help btw) then go airport.

thank you to the kind people who took time out to respond to me. Have a lovely week x

The seats can be booked when the holiday is booked though. If that had been done there wouldnt have been a problem when you tried to check in. It's completely ridiculous he's refusing to share details with you.

@PinkyFlamingo lol

please read my OP, I’m sorry I know you trying to be helpful but it didn’t allow us to! It’s a common problem that I didn’t know about. I’m not responding to people stating the obvious. I know you don’t mean to be but it’s frustrating now. It literally didn’t allow him to a computer error came up! Just google it and you will see it’s a common error.

gosh people does anyone actually read!

Yes it can. You can reserve seats at any time between booking the flight and checking in. This whole thing of online check in not working isn’t what prevented the flights being booked.

Still don't think you should have complained about people not wanting to swap seats with you though. Also I agree with others seats should be booked at time of booking tickets to make sure you get them. How lucky are you to only pay tgat small amount for all your booked seats. We have had to pay over half your total amount for one.
The moral here for you is to take over the bookings in future.

Sorry to sound so harsh but you did ask us how we felt & if you didn't want to hear our opinions then you shouldn't post.

We did what were told! Checking in lady told us to see if anyone will swap! This site is crazy! Are you all okay? It’s a common thing to do. I’m not responding now. Anyone else please feel free to respond on my behalf - I know loads of you been through similar. Goodbye. I won’t be checking now. Once again thank you to this lovely people x

If it really was a computer error that he couldn’t check in online then all he had to do was contact the airline, explain about the error and that you all wanted to sit together, and pay for the allocated seats.

I'm glad you were able to resolve the issue. Sometimes, I feel sad seeing how unkind people can be, but it's reassuring to know there are genuine individuals like you who choose to be kind. I'm sorry about the unhelpful comments; they don't deserve your energy.

I'm not sure why shocked?! You didn't pay at the time. The tone suggests you expected people to move to accommodate.
Having said that, I'm glad you got it sorted in the end

I didn't get the impression OP was blaming the other passengers

You cheeky, rtfp

Exactly. This is what you have to do. If other people are paying extra for booked seats then you can't expect them to move to accommodate those who have not.

Disgusting suggestion.

OP I think the reason some people feel negatively about your dh is your comment that he refuses to let you see the booking because he says you’ll mess it up

unless you have some history of going online and repeatedly messing things up surely you can see why this sounds awfully controlling to other people

No not one problem at a time. You’re really more upset you’ll end up on TikTok than you children having this awful controlling man in their lives teaching them how to be treated and how to treat women? Priorities

This and the other thread about seats shows how little experience many posters have with flying.
The standard here is one leg flight booked well in advance through TUI or something like that.
And because they had never had issues there, everyone who has one is wrong.

In real world the situation when you are unable to pick seats, pay for them in advance, and actually get them through no fault of your own is not uncommon.

Yes, interesting that it’s often a woman on her own who is pressured. We’re supposed to be “nice” and are regarded with more opprobrium when we don’t conform.

Just look at @Annoyed321 ‘s invective against all the other passengers. And the implication that her DD wasn’t safe sitting between two men when she could have solved that by seating her 2 DC together.

Her DH messed up but it’s everybody else’s fault.

So you DON’T always move actually. You wouldn’t move from Business to Economy even though everyone else “has to move”.

Hypocrisy, much? Why do you think buying a Business seat exempts you from the empathy you require of everyone else?

For the record, it is cheeky fuckery to expect someone to swap a Business seat for an economy seat, but you can’t have it both ways. You can’t lecture other travellers that they have to move, but reserve boundaries for yourself.

I doubt many people would find themselves in such a situation because everyone knows you have to book your seats in advance if you want to sit together. There have been countless stories on SM recently about “chancers” lol. Hopefully a lesson has been learned. You also need to take more control of your own life and not allow H to control everything.

Could you not have sat the two kids together?

he sounds like a twat and I couldn’t like with that

I would not let him book flights, seats or any of the arrangements. If he cannot accept this, I would then be thinking about whether I was prepared to put up with him.

Massive eye roll. I’m not lecturing anyone. I’m just saying my opinion, and I think it’s rude not to move for a small child. I wouldn’t move for a preference! I think it’s rude when there isn’t a discernible difference - row 15 or 16 etc etc

No he didn’t move, because the flight attendant intervened, but he wasn’t sat next to someone else’s small child, if he had been he
probs would. He has moved within the cabin so a couple could sit together.