Plane seats - refused to swap

[Annoyed321]

please bear with me, I really need to vent but I need advice too.

Holiday with DH, 8 year old DD and 5 year old DS. Our seats were allocated away from each other. Not even on same aisle literally scattered on different parts of the plane. DH books and sorts checking in and I don’t usually get involved. He tried to apparently check in 24 hours before the flight but there was an error (he didn’t tell me), he was unable to check in and was advised online chat to see a member of staff at airport when we were flying, we get to check in on day of flight and lady says she can’t sit us together. I pleaded with her to at least let there be one of us sat with each child, no problem about all 4 of us sitting together.

She said to ask people when we get to the seat if anyone will swap with us. When we got there everyone refused, which I don’t really blame them as they checked in and chose their seats we didn’t or couldn’t.

I got very emotional as my 5 year old was crying about not sitting next to me DH as usual was unbothered and was just standing around looking unfazed. I’m really embarrassed about my reaction but he said it’s fine and I said it’s not fine “I’m not having my kids sat in between strangers”. It wasn’t as dramatic as I’m making out as it was over very quickly as the cabin crew we spoke to on boarding were able to allocate 2 seats together. Myself and my 5 year old took it and DH sat 2 rows In front of DD who was sat inbetween 2 men, DH was also sat between 2 guys so made no difference where I put her.

I was upset the entire flight and kept asking DH to keep an eye on DD, DH kept rolling his eyes and ignoring me. I felt like a bad mother leaving my child sat there with strangers. I feel embarrassed incase anyone videoed me at the start asking/pleading with people to please swap seats to allow me to sit next to my 2 kids. I only asked about 2 people and they avoided eye contact and ignored me, again I get it.

advice: DH is old fashioned (or should say a complete knob) he won’t share the booking details of flight with me as he’s worried I will mess up the booking, like I’m a stupid child! So I need advice please how can I make sure I am sat next to my kids on flight back home? I will need a booking reference I know which I will have to keep asking him for but the holiday was booked via Expedia and I think that’s what messed up when was trying to check in online 24 hours before. How can I check in if flights were booked with Expedia? I will call them if he doesn’t share booking ref but I doubt they will speak to me due to data protection. Any advice please?

Please be kind and don’t make me feel worse than I feel. Can anyone at least relate with me about how upset I was about DD sat alone? I am a survivor of childhood SA so my feelings might be out of place but I also read a news article literally a few days before flight if a 15 year old girl getting assaulted by a fellow passenger during a flight do these things do happen.

The issue was you couldn't check in online so it was the left over seats i.e the middle ones... normally they can get you close together even if the whole party isn't sat together (so across an aisle for example).

You can pay to choose your seats when you book the flight.

Thank you so much for validating me! Yes I would happily pay and do would DH but there was an error and he won’t sort it or let me sort it, thank you so much that’s a good idea. My dd uses his phone only games and knows his code I’ll get into his emails.

You left it too late. We choose seats when we book or just after. 24 hours before is risking it as most people are more organised than that.

I think your best bet is to speak to your husband and show him the article about the girl that was recently sexually abused on a plane. Then he needs to login and try to upgrade to pick and pay for his seats. Or you need to get hold of the flight data and speak to the airline, put on a deep voice and pretend to be him.

You can choose seats on checking in 24 hrs before but there’s usually also an option to pay at time of booking too. Unfortunately if everyone else has already chosen their seats on booking then you may end up with the same situation on the way home. Leaving it until 24 hrs before is risky as there may not be seats together available, especially during busy times for children traveling in the school holidays, or as you found out there might be an error.

Ive always paid the extra to ensure being sat next to kids.
Don't bother doing this when holidaying with friends.

Are you sure there really was an error OP? Even if a phone call was needed, any normal person would would have had the entire booking fully confirmed including seat reservations, before paying. It sounds like he didn’t want to pay up.

Thank you. I think I need to contact Expedia asap.

Thing is OP that he DIDN’T pay at the point of purchase and left it to chance when check-in opened. Others will have paid, so your return flight is subject to the same ‘seat roulette’ as your outbound flight.

She’s not blaming other passengers

This is actually disgusting. I don’t fly, so I was under the impression that minors automatically get seated next to their adult they’re flying with. I’m actually baffled that it’s not the case and this happens.

I couldn’t stay married to a man who a) had complete disregard for my kids’ safety and comfort b) was so controlling he wouldn’t let me access a booking.

Honestly, once the immediate issue of the flight home is resolved you need to come back to mumsnet, list ALL the controlling weird shit he has done (bet there’s loads) and we can help you leave him.

Imagine next year booking your OWN flights and taking your kids yourself, who’ll be sat next to you because you did it yourself.

Not sure why my reply has been hidden! I only thanked the poster and said I will contact the company, maybe as I mentioned the company/airline.

Sorry OP, but folk are starting to get really fed up of parents not booking seats together and then expecting others to move to accommodate them.
If the booking is in his name, and he won't give you the reference, then you won't be able to check in early or do anything about it for the return leg either, unfortunately. He does sound like an inconsiderate twat though.

Which airline are you flying with OP?

Your post sounds like it may be Ryanair who will hardly ever seat you together if you don't pay in advance and those who don't pay are usually allocated middle seats well away from the other passengers on the same booking reference. ☹️
(Although they normally charge a huge amount per passenger at the airport if you haven't checked in online and printed off your boarding passes unless things have changed in recent years.)

If it is Ryanair/whichever airline really you need to tell DH to prepay for seats for the return flight online asap otherwise chances are very high that you will have the same scenario upon your return. ☹️

To prepay for seats/check in online he needs the airline booking reference and not an Expedia generated reference. The airline reference should be shown on your paperwork.

Yep! This is what we do! Im normally with the kids, DH across the aisle. Costs more but keeps us together.

Two parts to this.
Firstly, your dh chose not to pay and waited for the 24h before check in, which went wrong. Even if it hadn't gone wrong there may not have been seats available as most people who want to sit together now choose and pay for seats at the time of booking.
Secondly, you can't book seats together in advance unless your dh does it through the booking. He will need to select and pay for seats together for your return journey (if there are any left), this is because he will be marked as the lead passenger and so only he can make amendments to the original booking.

Your dh isn’t old fashioned. Like you say. Yes being a knob.

the irony that he’s worried you will mess up the booking when he couldn’t even figure out how to deject seats. If it didn’t work he should have logged out and tried again. And then contacted the airline directly. And why were sears not booked when booking?

OP, do you know what the "error" was? Can you ask your H exactly what happened? Maybe phrase it along the lines of "What do we need to do to make sure it won't happen again on the way home?"

If he's telling the truth, then there's no reason for him not come clean about it. But if he's at all cagey about telling you, that sounds like a red flag.

What, now? How is a travel agent going to get her the details of her DH's booking??

The guidance (not a rule) is that minors have to be adjacent to the travelling adult. Adjacent does NOT mean beside. It can be across the aisle or one row forward or back.

This!!! There is no way I would let my H book flights ever again after screwing up so badly. I would have been incandescent with rage at him if my 8 year old had to sit between two blokes. What the bloody hell?!! And he thinks you can’t be trusted to book flights?!!

Tell him now. I will never again set foot on a plane unless I have booked the flight and reserved the seats.

i only found out about the error when he was speaking to the checking in baggage lady (sorry I don’t know the actual term) his exact words were “I tried to check in and select seats and error message said children cannot be allocated seats please speak to ….”. The lady said she’s never heard of this and asked him how he booked.

Couldn't the two children have sat together and you sat between the two men?