Aibu to write this guy off our first night together?

[KookySnail]

I’m considering c

It’s very rare that someone would only have sex once in one night.
You would at least have sex again in the morning.

To me it sounds as though he has some issues around sex, especially as you say he’s happily held your hand etc before.

I definitely would not meet up with him again, regardless of whether he used you for sex or has some other issues.

Blimey, we move in very different circles.

Gutted.

Trust how you feel. He should have at least been in contact at some point in the day.

Absolutely bin him. You’re not being paranoid. I had a guy not text me after we slept together and he was just giving me the silent treatment. It wasn’t a case of him eventually texting later.

Try not to regret sleeping with him. U enjoyed the sex but not the inconsiderate behaviour afterwards. So what if he contacts yiu, this behaviour has put unoff. If he does contact you don't have to see him. You control this instead of him. You'll feel better for it.

He sounds horrible. Chalk it up to experience and move on. Sorry you've had to deal either this behaviour.

I wouldn't bother to contact him. I agree with the pp who said get back on the app. For all he knows you could have thought he was crap in bed! Chalk it up to exercise.
My late mother used to say if the don't think you're the best thing since sliced bread within two weeks, they're not for you.
I had a lot of boyfriends before I married and they had two weeks to prove their self. My husband is lovely and I had a diamond engagement ring in 8 weeks. I've been married nearly forty years.
Can you imagine this knob wiping your bum if you were ill? It doesn't sound like it.
My BFF joined a dating site for sex and it was hysterical. She is very saucy and chucks them in a taxi if they're crap. One even cried!
Respect you op. It will be fine.

He sounds awful.

I'd say he has 'intimacy issues' whereby he's all lovely during the chase and knows what to do, but it's all false.

Try not to blame yourself in any way.

I don't agree with how he reacted but as an awkward person myself, perhaps he just felt uncomfortable and didn't know how to act now the dynamic had shifted.

😂😂

I assumed everyone has sex more than once a night in the beginning?!

Thats the best part of meeting someone new I thought.

Maybe I am wrong though 😯

I’m sorry that happened to you. What an arsehole. Block him now and don’t give him the chance to get back in touch, he just wanted a shag and put on his “nice guy” mask.

See if he contacts you again. Seems unlikely. Think he just wanted sex and is now done. If he does contact then definitely bin him off.

Oh, in the beginning? Gotcha.

It’s been a while since I had a beginning 😂

Or leave him on unread... He's unpleasant and you've at least saved yourself some time here. Imagine finding this out after months of dating.

Block

Delete

Move on

Gosh I wish I had done this with so many losers !!!!!

You deserve better
He sounds like a creep

Urgh, men. You're right to cut him off. Don't bother explaining why if he reaches out again, just block - by his age he understands basic courtesy, he just chosen not to use it.

Uphold your own boundary on this.

Hi OP

I sense a little bit of shame in your post? Please let that go.

You did nothing wrong.

You met a guy who gave you every reason to think he was a great match.

You had some good sex - great!

Then he revealed more about his personality, and he falls way way below your standard. It’s disappointing but at least now you know.

You can step away without shame or icky feelings, and feel free to block him if you want to feel ‘tidy’ about it.

I slept with my DH on our second date and we’re still married 15 years later…

Don’t feel used - I’m glad you enjoyed the sex at least, and can continue being open to finding a better guy next time x

that sounds horrible op, he is clueless

I would have expected him not to set the alarm for 7 tbh.

I agree with a pp that sex again in the morning is usual.

Sounds as if it was more of a ONS for him.

This is a classic case of ‘if he really wanted to, he would.’ How long does it honestly take someone to pick up their phone and send a text? Don’t let your friend convince you this behaviour is acceptable, it’s not.

Maybe the sex wasn't as good for him as it was for you. Time to move on to the next date OP. The right man is out there somewhere.

I agree with a pp. Text him saying something along the lines of it not working for you, wish him the best, and keep it brief! That way you’ve dumped him without ambiguity, it’ll dent his ego, if only briefly and you, not him, are calling the shots.

Think about what you're asking. Should you break it off now that you've seen what he's like in the beginning?

Or should you see him further, possibly catch feelings (because none of us are above catching feelings for ab absolute jerk), and make it more difficult for yourself to break up with him, causing yourself possibly years of heartache, confusion, and self-inflicted turmoil?

He was probably looking for sex rather than a girlfriend and he put just enough effort into the dates to get the required outcome.

I feel for you OP, it did aound like he went pretty cold afterwards.

I get why people want to wait to have sex, but if you want to have sex with someone, I wouldn't try and stick to a certain number of dates-just do it when you want to and are ready-, no date, first date, whatever. Arseholes will still be arseholes after 1, 3 or 100 dates.

You find out pretty quickly if you sexually compatible, how they behave after and if earlier on, with less emotional attachment to it. I've been married 20 years, so not saying this from a place of serial one night stands either; and obviously only if you want to have sex.

The not texting wouldnt be a big deal for me, but the coldness would be.

You can and will do better :)