DS went through DH phone. DH blames me

[Evkopk]

My sister’s phone had died and she needed to check her emails so asked to use mine. I was using mine so I unlocked my husband’s phone for her. My DH came downstairs and saw DS scrolling through his photos and ripped the phone from her hand.
He has since refused to talk to me and has deleted and blocked me from his phone, including the family groups.
Ive apologised but he doesn’t want to hear it. I am being unreasonable to think he should get over it? It’s been 2 weeks where he has refused to speak to me, nor can I contact him via his phone.

I'm really surprised by the responses on here. To me a phone is just a phone and it's not a gross invasion of privacy to use someone else's. However I wouldn't be happy if someone asked to use my phone to access emails and then started scrolling through my photos. You really shouldn't have handed over his phone without asking him first and should have stopped your DS when you saw she was snooping. His extreme reaction though begs the question "what is he hiding?"

You are in the wrong but I’d be wondering what he’s got to hide.

Oh just read DS was your sister not your son , so I think that changes it a bit, you should have given her your phone.
But I still think he's overreacting by sulking 2weeks later. Sounds like there maybe a back story to this

I agree it’s wrong for him to be giving you the silent treatment for this long but I dont conclude from that that he has something to hide. I would be very very angry with my DH if he had done this to me but I have nothing to hide. I just dont want others seeing my stuff.

Everybody in this story is terrible. Every single one of you. You’re all BU.

Two weeks silent treatment? Did you cheat on him or something?

I'd be so angry if you did this to me. How dare you.

I don't suppose I'd just cool off either. You've allowed his privacy to be invaded entirely without his permission and you think he should just get over it??

I don't have anything to hide so it's not about that. I just wouldn't dream of every rooting through someone's personal drawers, for example, and I would be very angry if anyone did that to me. A phone is exactly the same IMO.

Just break up already. How utterly ridiculous of you, your sister and him with the silence.

He's in the right but two weeks of ignoring you is too much. Did you apologise properly or did you half-arse it because you don't really think it was that bad of you or her? Your sister is incredibly disrespectful, I would have been fuming in your husband's place (despite having nothing dodgy on my phone), and I would expect a sincere apology from the pair of you.

Massive breach of trust. You are in the wrong. Everything else is too difficult to comment on without additional context.

He’s being very dramatic but you were bang out of order giving her his phone.

How would she check her emails using your husband’s phone and why would you think it was ok to hand it to her?

Also what could possibly be so urgent?

I'd be furious if I were your husband. You invaded his privacy and you don't seem to think it's a big deal.

You shouldn’t have given her his phone, that was really out of order. Was that really what happened or were you both snooping?

His reaction is ridiculous though, especially after 2 weeks. The silent treatment is abusive.

I'd leave DP if she went snooping through my phone, let alone if she handed it to her sister to have a nose through.

You don't seem to understand that you've done anything wrong here. You say you apologised, but did you actually mean it of was it just a quick "I'm sorry now let's brush it under the carpet"

Totally agree and rereading the post heading I think: 'DS blames me' is very telling, because of course he does, but the way it is included in the title is inferring that he is unreasonable to do so.

And for your sister to say she needs to check her email and then goes through his photos instead is incredible disrespectful. You both sound very laissez-faire with other people's possessions and their privacy.

Has your sister apologised for looking through the photos?

You were very much in the wrong, but his reaction is extreme. He’s either hiding something, or you and your sister aren’t acknowledging how wrong you were.

You're all in the wrong but 2 weeks is ridiculous.

You were definitely in the wrong. You should have got off your phone and given it to your sister. She was in the wrong for looking at his photos rather than just sending her email. You both invaded your DH's privacy. Your DH is in the wrong for sulking for two weeks and blocking his own wife. Does he normally react in this way?

Why on earth was she looking through his photos? Were you aware she was doing that? Has she apologised?

What on earth were you thinking, OP?

And then to watch your sister go through his pictures and not intervene? Were you ganging up on DH with your sister? Did you find it funny?

It sounds like you lack appropriate boundaries and your DH has had enough.

Quite a few people saying he might be hiding something but remember that he had let her know the password

If your DH handed over your phone to one of his family members to have a good snoop through, would that be OK with you? Really?

So this super urgent email she had to check where she couldn’t wait for her own phone to charge, or for you to finish with yours, is so urgent she managed to scroll through photos as well?

yeah. Not buying it.

the phone is not yours to loan. You should have asked him. Your sister should have respected his privacy.

both of you were out of order.

So there were urgent emails to be looked at, you couldn't possibly stop using your phone & the urgent emails meant that his photos had to be scrolled through.

What an absolute crock of shit.