DS went through DH phone. DH blames me

[Evkopk]

My sister’s phone had died and she needed to check her emails so asked to use mine. I was using mine so I unlocked my husband’s phone for her. My DH came downstairs and saw DS scrolling through his photos and ripped the phone from her hand.
He has since refused to talk to me and has deleted and blocked me from his phone, including the family groups.
Ive apologised but he doesn’t want to hear it. I am being unreasonable to think he should get over it? It’s been 2 weeks where he has refused to speak to me, nor can I contact him via his phone.

You shouldn't have unlocked his phone for your sister. Your story of 'why' doesn't quite ring true and you were completely in the wrong to do it. I suspect you thought something was up and your sister going through the phone for you was your solution under a phony pretext.

That said, his behaviour is abusive (silent treatment for 2 weeks is emotional abuse), removing you from family groups when you are family isn't right.

I suspect your marriage is over. I wouldn't wait around for him to do it either under the circumstances. You were unhappy enough to go through his phone (via your sister) and now he's acting like he had something to hide and covering it up by 2 weeks of abusive behaviour.

Just a pair of snoops. I think what you did was disgusting.

Snooping through someones phone is the worst invasion of privacy i can imagine.

@Evkopk DS went through DH phone. DH blames me

The title sounds as if DH has made a mistake, but from reading what happened, it clearly is your fault. It's a bit strange that you are acting as if you have done nothing wrong.

I don't think too many women would be happy if I started going through their phones and looking at their photos.

She really isn’t going to defend herself, you know. It was just an OP designed to get us all frothing at the mouth. 😂

Nobody comes out of this well.

Yes, that as well.

Why didn’t you just ask her to wait until she could use yours???? Not acceptable to offer someone else’s phone unless they are physically there to give agreement.

You were very wrong to do that. Why was she looking at photos when she was supposed to be checking her emails? And he hasn’t spoken to you for two weeks, is there a backstory here?

Why didn’t you lend your sister a charger? Why did she need to check her emails there and then?

There’s more to this than you are saying OP.

Sorry but you were out of order. I’ve nothing the least fishy on my phone but would be seriously pissed off of my husband just handed it to his relative without my permission. Which he wouldn’t.

Why was she looking through his photos when she said she needed to check her emails? She sounds like a nosey cow and no wonder he was livid with her and you for giving her the phone because she probably has form for being nosey. She had no reason to be going through his photos.

Look, you should have given it, she shouldn’t have looked but he’s been blanking you for two weeks. That’s not normal. You need apologise and he needs to get the fuck over it. Very bizarre.

Complete invasion of privacy, I've taken photos of private documents to send to accountants, close ups of skin rashes to send to GP etc, nothing dodgy but stuff I definitely wouldn't want to share with in-laws. I'd be pissed off if I was your DH too, although if no other issues would have got over it by now.

Why is your sister looking up through your husband’s photos? So rude! I don’t think it’s that bad for you to give her the phone to use for checking her emails, but she has a bloody cheek looking through his phone and looking at anything else other than an empty browser to open her email. Is she normally like that? Maybe that’s why your DH is so upset with you. If I were you, I would be pissed off with your sister. Has she apologies for snooping?

All three of you are out of order but you committed the first sin by unlocking the phone

"DH, I appreciate I was very much in the wrong here. I won't do that again, but can't turn back time and un do it, however much you punish me with the silent treatment. So, either you get past this, act normally around me again, or you decide its so unforgivable you leave me. Because it's completely impractical to be married to a person you refuse to speak to"

Why didn’t you ask him first? She was not cheking emails she was scrolling through photos which are actually a big insight into his life, likes, dislikes etc. Who knows why he is so livid maybe he is having an affair or maybe he was planning a fab surprise either way you nearly ruined it is my guess.

Jeez, can people not read? It's not his sister, it's not his daughter, it's not his mother - it's his sister-in-law.

I wouldn't mind too much someone borrowing my phone to check something quickly, but I absolutely wouldn't expect them to be rifling through my photos.

🚩🚨🚩🚩🚨🚩🚩

Jeez, can people not read?

MN wouldn't be any fun if people did.

I don't think couples should have access to each others phones. It's a sign of an unhealthy relationship.

Your mistake was by not finding her a charger or lending her yours and you using his.
Her mistake was by being nosy.
DH is being OTT by being silent for 2 weeks though.

YABU
Not the point of the thread, but can someone explain how to check your emails on someone else's phone please? Not that I can think of a reason to do so.

He blames you because you gave her his phone, it was a big invasion of privacy

Surely you would just log in to your email account