Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH sabotaging a rare day out - at my wits end

256 replies

Footballwidow25 · 23/08/2025 20:49

DH and I haven’t had the chance for any ‘us’ time for a couple of months - mixture of family commitments with the kids and he has been at football two Saturday’s this month.

So today we had the chance to go to a city for a shop, some nice lunch and drinks and a general walk around for ‘us’ time.

The day started with DH moaning he was missing a ‘good’ football match which all his mates were going to.

He was then generally an absolute pain during the day. Nothing stand out but a selection of the most annoying things:

-I was using the toilet at the park and ride. This is indoors with a seating area where some other people were waiting. I was a few minutes in there (TOM - sorry if oversharing) and when I got out, he loudly said ‘fucking hell, were you having a shit?’ which was so embarrassing in front of a load of strangers.

-We went into a pub and the table we were sat on was surrounded by screens with a football update show on (the sky one where the scores appear at the bottom) but there was no sound. I nipped to the loo and when I got back, the sound was on really loud which I commented on as we were having to almost shout to hear each other. DH said he didn’t know why they put it on but 2 minutes later, the bar man gave him a thumbs up as if to say ‘is that okay mate’ and he admitted he requested the sound was put on.

-I needed to nip back into a shop before we went home to buy an item I saw earlier and was unsure on. DH’s team had lost so he was in a bit of a mood. He was stood next to me in the fairly long queue and then sheepishly walked off. It then absolutely stunk and he admitted after it was him and he found it hilarious.

The reason I’m posting, is I told a couple of my friends in our group chat how the day had gone and they were basically like ‘yeah, he’s a bloke and probably feels like he missed out on football with his mates to go shopping so cut him some slack’.

Am I overreacting as I feel he could have at least pretended to be interested in my company given how rare a day out for us is now!

OP posts:
autienotnaughty · 23/08/2025 21:04

He humiliated you and found it funny
he was moody
he deliberately spoilt the day

why do you want to be with him?

weareallqueens · 23/08/2025 21:05

He was utterly horrible, but had you decided as a pair how to spend your day or had you chosen? My DH hates shopping. I would never take him shopping, and certainly not as a ‘day out’. Maybe more of a compromise would work in the future. (Assuming you don’t leave him - which would also be understandable.)

IcelandQuestion · 23/08/2025 21:07

He does sound revolting. That said, going shopping is not my husband’s idea of a good time and would not be an activity we’d pick if we had a rare opportunity for ‘us time’. That’s not to excuse him because presumably he’s an adult who can say ‘I don’t enjoy shopping and would rather do something else’ rather than resorting to embarrassing you and farting in queues as some kind of dirty protest. But if you were to try again is there something you could do that you’d both enjoy and be interested in?

CointreauQuaint · 23/08/2025 21:09

He sounds vile op. Does he have good qualities?

Unlichtie · 23/08/2025 21:09

😂 could imagine my DH reaction if we got a bit of "rare us time" and I dragged him round the shops.

TaborlinTheGreat · 23/08/2025 21:09

He sounds like a horrible pig who has no respect for you whatsoever.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 23/08/2025 21:10

He didn't wanna go out

Is he always this useless and selfish?

Trying to embarrass me with the toilet thing wouldve pissed me off tbh, i wouldve gone home

nomas · 23/08/2025 21:10

Don’t have kids with him.

sciaticafanatica · 23/08/2025 21:13

Fucking city fans are always idiots

CarlaLemarchant · 23/08/2025 21:13

This is nothing to do with football. This is just him being a prick.

ChocolateCinderToffee · 23/08/2025 21:14

I could not be with a guy who would fart like that in public when he was next to me.

I mean for god's sake, is he an animal. Before people start telling me everyone farts blah blah you don't do it near other people.

MissHarlott · 23/08/2025 21:14

Football fans are generally ball bags who grunt occasionally and get upset if they don't get their fix of 22 overpaid drama queens mincing around a field for 90 minutes

PuppiesProzacProsecco · 23/08/2025 21:15

One of my dearest friends was a massive Man Utd fan - he's passed now sadly. He always said that whilst football and his team were his absolute passions, he'd never choose a game over the people he loved. That included never being stroppy when they lost. Literally never saw that man "drown his sorrows". God, I miss him.

dogcatkitten · 23/08/2025 21:16

You posted to say how horrible he was in a group chat? I was with you up to then a bit of a horrible day out so worth a bit of a bitch. But you don't have to tell your friends what a bad person he is. And he did miss out on his match for not a great day for him or even a productive day out for you by the sound of it. Why insist on going out for the day when his team is playing and is on tv?

Kateb12 · 23/08/2025 21:17

Sorry to hear it's not gone how you wanted.

I got to be honest though the bar man giving the thumbs up to your husband after he said he didn't know why the volume came on is hilarious 😅

AliceMaforethought · 23/08/2025 21:17

Ugh, gross. And sadly for you, you have kids with this man. It couldn't be me.

notacooldad · 23/08/2025 21:18

I was a few minutes in there (TOM - sorry if oversharing) and when I got out, he loudly said ‘fucking hell, were you having a shit?’
He is disgusting 🫣
Dh doesn't even talk to me like that in our home in private.

I'm on the fence here, while his behaviour does sound childish and annoying, how much does he really enjoy shopping?
On the fence about his vile language and behaviour? What low standards!

Icecreamhelps · 23/08/2025 21:18

You deserve better.

Sunshineandblueskysalltheway · 23/08/2025 21:19

Mumptynumpty · 23/08/2025 20:54

He enjoys humiliating you in public.
Making you pay for not letting him do exactly what he wants.
Prioritising his mates over you.
Making sure your time is miserable.
He's also base.

What a catch.

All of this. Get rid of him and the two friends. Their brainless response to his behaviour is worrying to say the least.

Are the women in your circle generally with men like your husband?

Toomanywaterbottles · 23/08/2025 21:19

How on earth is going shopping a nice thing to do as a couple? He’s bored stiff, as most people would be, and he’s missing the football. He’s spent half the day waiting for you to go to the loo and the other half queuing in shops. Obviously, he hasn’t behaved well, but you really pushed this. I’m not a football fan but even I would have rather watched football on my day off than do what you did.

Lafufufu · 23/08/2025 21:19

I'd honestly sit him down and ask if he wants to be married... because if yes, he needs to have a word with himself

If no, let's get the ball rolling so you can leave and start living your best life and he can sit about watch football while doing fowl farts and making lewd basecomments to whoever is (unfortunately) within earshot...

CherrieTomaties · 23/08/2025 21:20

Jesus how old is he, 14?

Life is way too short to be in an unhappy marriage with a fucking loser like this.

Please end it. Find someone who enjoys spending time with you. You deserve so much better.

SereneCoralDog · 23/08/2025 21:20

He sounds like an absolute child but yabu too.

It sounds very much like a day out for you tbh. What about his interests and enjoyment? Just because you're thrilled to be walking around shopping doesn't mean he will be.

Tiswa · 23/08/2025 21:22

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 23/08/2025 20:57

His behaviour sounds shit

However is shopping 'us time' that you both enjoy or something for you? And if something for you, do you do things with him that you have. I interest in?

This to be fair us time with DH would never involve the shops as he would hate that it would be his idea of a nightmare (and we both like football together)

uhOhOP · 23/08/2025 21:24

I hope you won't let your friends drag your standards into the gutter.

Swipe left for the next trending thread