To not want to live to an old age

[2sidesofcoins]

Reading the eldery parents board it has filled me with dread for old age. It has so many wealthy elderly people living in misery, too old to enjoy life anymore, no matter how wealthy.
My generation won't see much of retirement as it's pushed up to 70. We have 2 working parents, a lot more stress, enviromental toxins and will see life expectancy reduce very soon.
But the altenative of having my brain die while I am live on is terrifying. I think I'll be refusing antibiotic treatment and going out with the old persons friend Pneumonia!
I'm mid forties and pissed off at all the age related shite already (Reading glasses, stiff joints, looming menopause, inability to lose weight!!)

Why not focussing on improving your current existence op?

lose weight
yoga for the stiff joints
find another job
try to enjoy parenting more and if you find it isolating… invite someone out for coffee this week.

Can it happen overnight? No
But you can try, and part of the enjoyment may well come from the very journey of getting there

Well actually a healthy lifestyle is very much linked with avoiding cancer

If you are mid 40s and already feeling bleak about the future then you might already be perimenopausal.

I am 50, now on HRT. Have spent 18 months really getting my fitness and strength back. I am saving hard into my pension. Expecting another few years of my kids being at home but I am looking forward to the future and hope to live to a ripe old age, staying as active as I can. Husband and I expect to spend much of the winter abroad when we get older so that we can walk and swim year round. We are planning for this now. Sorry that don’t feel the same. I saw a brilliant thing about an active 94 year old woman this week living well in France. Really inspiring.

Yes all of this is true I agree, but I still don't want to live to an old age where my body keeps going but my mind doesn't.

Absolutely

but you don’t want to get that stage AND you aren’t enjoying the current stage you’re in.

So it would make sense to just accept what you don’t want, and try to channel your energy and thoughts into what you do want, which is surely a happier and healthier life NOW

I disagree I think our enviroment is contributing to cancers rising in young fit people. It helps,but by how much ?
Lots of links to cancer from genes and hpv etc. as well

Come again?

You disagree that features such as high weight, smoking , excessive drinking, very little movement - have an impact on cancer likelihood?

I asked at the top of the thread… do you read / listen / engage at all with the news?

Yes there are lots of links with genes etc.

Does that preclude lifestyle factors also having an impact?

I hope you realise… no

I really dislike it when posters do this, use OPs other threads in reference to a different one and almost use it against them.

The OP has a right to start whatever threads she wishes.

It's not for you to dredge up other issues relating to her employment. Bad form.

Usually yes

but surely very relevant that the OP depressed about the future is also depressed about the present…. And that is no doubt feeding in to fear or the future

I didn't disagree I actually said, yes it helps. But there are other factors

I said I agree being healthy Helps!

Well you should definatley read my post on waspnests.com LOL

Definitely agree OP. I have a suspicion my mum is planning to go to Switzerland next year as she will be the age when her mum was diagnosed with hideous dementia. I wouldn't support this if she came out and said it but I hope to be brave enough to do the same.

Not something I’m aware of thankfully I suspect

Yes, it is easy for one to say they'd just got to dignitas but for family members it is so hard. I'm sorry you are having to experience this.

I have always felt strongly that it is a person's right to make their own choices but I am worried about my dad (who is still alive and still married to her) tbh.

I felt a bit like that in my 40s. I can tell you that I don't still feel like that in my early 60s. I don't want to die any time soon if I can help it and certainly not in less than 10 years

As my lovey FIL said when asked if he was looking forward to his 90th birthday. ,
"Well yes, though nobody really looks forward to being 90, except 89 year olds'

I agree with this. My mother had heavy care needs from her 80s on. She lived until 93 but only the month or so of that was she really easy to go, despite a lot of ill health in her last two years. In between her ill health periods she continued to enjoy life as much as she was able to. She made friends, socialised, took part in whatever she could and loved us taking her out and spending time with friends and family, like to play simple card games and jigsaws ,watching her favourite tv programs, singing songs,listening to music

She had physical needs and needed personal care but she still liked living and got joy from it until the very end

Lol. I'm not but I'm abroad, experiencing totally new culture , it's a total refresher for me

I'm looking at the gardens in Cranleigh and wondering why noone grows vegetables

It’s surprising that this doesn’t get more coverage, actually. Those who work in the field think we are very close to being able to reverse the ageing process and massively extend the lifespan. I mean within the next decade or so. I suppose the reason no one talks about it is that AI grabs all the sciency headlines. But this could sneak up on us.

If it happens, god knows what that will mean for the planet. In 1900 there were a billion humans. By 1960 that had trebled to three billion. It’s now eight billion and we’re heading for ten billion. Africa’s birth rate is so high the African population is going to double, right in the middle of climate meltdown. If people aren’t dying and making room, the fight for resources will be horrific.

You are assuming a lot. It remains a revolting response - that's all you took from her post. Anyway, your attitude towards older people is ill-informed and sucks.

I understand your thought process OP in regards to having seen loved family members and friends struggle at an old age and not wanting to go through that yourself.
I think there are many people out there who worry about becoming elderly and what comes with it - I do think we are kinder to pets than we are to human beings.
My mum however suffered a brain aneurysm aged 60 and died after a 10 week battle in hospital. What I had to witness her going through was awful, but I still wanted them to try everything to save her life if possible. In hindsight I wish she had died instantaneously because that would have been much kinder on her - she didn’t have a chance but it took so long for medics and hospital staff to admit this and let her go. She suffered brain damage during the 12 hour operation so the person I visited and fought for was never actually mentally my mum.
I guess my point is that these awful things we often associate with old age can happen much sooner. We just have to make the most of the time we have here and now and try not to worry about things we cannot control. Hopefully one day there will be more options for people.

I will take the very good avice from this thread and improve my life and to try to enjoy it and not worry about the future.
And yes hoping that we have more options later, but keep the debate open about how these options will play out.

OP has reasons for being on the elderly parents thread.

We don’t get to drop our responsibilities because life is a grind at the moment.

You are, I fear, telling OP to get a grip instead of listening to her and understanding her challenges.

I am at the point where DC are independent and we’re ready to have some fun, but our annual leave is mainly spent with elderly relatives who aren’t enjoying life and are doing a good job of sucking the joy from our life as well!

I am determined not to do the same to our DC. Plan, prepare, stay fit as possible, and as joy fades I’ll take up something risky 😅