To not want to live to an old age

[2sidesofcoins]

Reading the eldery parents board it has filled me with dread for old age. It has so many wealthy elderly people living in misery, too old to enjoy life anymore, no matter how wealthy.
My generation won't see much of retirement as it's pushed up to 70. We have 2 working parents, a lot more stress, enviromental toxins and will see life expectancy reduce very soon.
But the altenative of having my brain die while I am live on is terrifying. I think I'll be refusing antibiotic treatment and going out with the old persons friend Pneumonia!
I'm mid forties and pissed off at all the age related shite already (Reading glasses, stiff joints, looming menopause, inability to lose weight!!)

I think whether a person’s life is worth living is up to them to decide.

@cardibach yes of course that's true

Jesus just back off, what are you getting out of all your replies
You sound like you just want to win a fucking game

I’m with the OP, having seen my DPs, in-laws and others age I don’t really want it for myself. I do want to live healthily for as long as possible, want to live long enough for my DC to get established in their own, independent adult lives and as I enjoy work, to continue working as long as I’m able to contribute effectively. I’m late 50s and in good overall health though I have stiff joints too and painful feet. It’s not fun and makes exercise more difficult, GP is of no use but I am happy to swim to keep fit. DCs are late teens and early 20s so need a few more years to get established. Fortunately my employer doesn’t give signs of being ageist so I can continue to use my salary to help the kids. At the moment life is fun, but if that stops, then I think I’ll be out of here.

YABU for saying that your inability to lose weight is caused by the fact you are in your forties. Plenty of middle age women are able to lose weight by being disciplined and thorough in their habits. So stop looking for excuses.

But how are you going to get 'out of here?' Dignitas?

Sorry, I am not trying to be argumentative or anything in asking. I am just genuinely interested in how people who state this think they would actually make it happen. It seems like it would require an enormous amount of bravery! And also, do you think your children would be OK with your choice?

I don’t cope at all well with pain of any sort.
I’ve seen the “old age” wards in hospital with my 98yr old relative, and it’s not what I want for me! Will be refusing any extraordinary measures for myself.
I’m mid 40’s, slim-ish, fit-ish, eat relatively well and don’t drink much but whether you get old, despite doing all the right things is a lottery so not much point worrying about it!

You really don't know till you get there, and I'm pretty sure assisted dying will be available by the time you get old, if you want to go that route.

My parents died relatively young, one IL died of dementia last year and the other is in a care home with Parkinson’s (with his assets just about to hit the £23K threshold).
Given the choice I’d rather die younger. Degenerative neurological conditions are horrendous for all concerned. Of course I’m very sad my parents didn’t live to old age but I am not sad they (and their family) were spared years of needing care, confusion, loss of dignity etc.

You’re looking at retirement villages while you’re in your 30s?! Isn’t that kind of pointless? Those same retirement villages might not even exist/be completely different places in 30 or 40 years time! Yes it’s sensible to have a rough plan maybe, especially financially, but don’t waste the rest of your youth and middle age worrying about what old age is going to look like, that seems like such a waste of a life!

I understand OP. But at 60, I am responsible for being active and looking after my health. The more you do, the more you are able to do. I am very proactive about seeking help for any health issues that arise too, and they do.

BUT, should my mind start to go (as is prevalent in the women of my family), I’m outta here. I don’t want my kids to go through that.

Me, too.

@SociableAtWork My Father refused treatment for his cancer when he developed it at 84. I remember the hospice nurse saying she wished more people were like my Father.

MIL has cancer now, she is 83 and is having treatment. People talk about it being upsetting and tiring. MIL is not my Mother but the inconvenience of it all is laid on me because she takes up so much of DH time lately.

Maybe I’m just too much like my Father, he was a very practical type. My Mother lived till she was 94, she should have died when she was around 88. There was no point at all in her being alive as she was so disabled, in pain and a massive burden, her care requirements ended up causing huge issues between my sisters. it was cruel keeping her alive and the costs were enormous.

I know. I just look at them generally though to see what kind of support structures are in place to potentially solve some of the problems I might face if I am entirely in my own. And also times like Christmas - I like to look at what they offer, as it's a nicer thought than that of being an old person at home on my own.

Having worked across the elderly hospital care wards I couldn’t agree more. I don’t want that for myself nor any loved one. Ever.
My granny is tired. She wants to go herself in her 90s she says it openly. I am however doing everything I can to stay healthy and there’s much more known about what women our age can do to mitigate the risks later in life

My parents are 96 and 95 and healthy, living alone at home (with some help coming in) and are completely compos mentis.
They love life - seeing all their kids and grandkids.
They had kids late (late-30s to mid-40s) which I think has helped keep them young-at-heart.
They eat healthily, stopped smoking 60 years ago due to health risks, drink very moderately and try to exercise.
I just hope I’ve the same healthy old-age as them.

You also have all mod cons now, washing machines, dishwashers, fridges and freezers, ready prepared food, shopping deliveries, food deliveries, etc, etc.

My parents both worked, no fridge so perishables had to be bought frequently, no car so everything was by bus, walk to the bus stop, wait for buses, carrying heavy shopping, we eventually got a twin tub washing machine that had to be dragged out of the cupboard to the sink to use and washing had to be hauled out of the washer to the spinner, no central heating, so in the winter you had to light a coal fire everyday and carry coal to feed it. Every household job was a slog. Parents of today have it comparatively easy!

And of course my brother and I were first generation to get a 'good' education and go to university, so we didn't leave home and get a job at 15, we got into grammar school via 11+, did A levels and then uni.

But that is kind of the point it isn’t. My Nan lived until she was 98 and the last 3/4 years her quality of life was minimal she couldn’t see or hear so all the hobbies she did previously that did make her happy (crossstitch/crosswords/reading) couldn’t be done anymore she couldn’t even watch or listen to things anymore. Life was dark and silent but she was fully aware and physically ok. She had enough but just had to exist until a heart attack took her out.

My Grandads went much better one went at 87 within a month of catching a cold still physically fit and doing what he wanted. The other cycled to town on the day of his death read his newspaper and watched some sport before having a massive heart attack and dying within an hour of feeling ill at the age of 85.

they never declined lived a good old age but didn’t experience the slow descent. My other Nan did for a year or so before dying at 89

For me mid 80s is probably the aim another 40 years and leave when I still can

What is your contribution to the thread? apart from having a go.

What a revolting response to someone showing you how happy and pleasant an 80 year old's life can be, even on a limited income.

You reap what you sow. People with bad attitudes to ageing, like yours OP, rarely age well.

It's not a revolting attitude , it's a FACT!! Those in wealthier areas live longer. Jesus wept

By the time you are old, we may be able to slow and even reverse the ageing process. This is no joke. Billions are being invested in this research, and it’s moving fast.

It would be a nightmare for the world if the aging process was able to be reversed. People are already living much too long.

Who would want to, just to watch climate change wreck everything. I'm worried for my kids future already!

YABVU. I am 42 and in better shape than I was in my twenties.