To confront DH over bingeing

[JaneEyre40]

No not alcohol, chocolate. I've found the remains of family sized chocolate bars that have been eaten in one sitting secretly by my DH, up to 2/3 a week. I wouldn't have a problem with this if it weren't in secret! He also complains about feeling unfit, wanting to get healthy but does nothing about it. Things are slightly stressful at home but not to the degree that you'd need a binge to ease it. Am I being unreasonable to bring it up and ask if he's ok? Not unreasonable being I do bring it up with him.

So 45 g × 4; 180 g of chocolate.

I eat 100 g of chocolate everday (dark 70% but still) and I am healthy and have a bmi of 19.

I do think size matters because I wouldn't call 180 g of chocolate as binge eating. Maybe he's enjoying it but knows you are going to judge him so feels he's got to hide it?

When my DH says that he's astonished that I can eat so much chocolate every day and not be fat I remind him of the biscuits he eats in the afternoon. I don't snack and eat two big meals per day with 100 g of chocolate as pudding in the evening. It works for me.

You dont confront and adult.

Complain about the health and fitness ... just say well don't eat so much chocolate then and move on and repeat.

It's all very dramatic confronting, an adult in telling him he shouldn't be eating this. He knows what he's doing. You can't force him to change.

I think my response would be raising it at a quiet time with just the two of us, in terms of
"Hey DH, I'm not checking up on you, but I've found quite a few big chocolate wrappers which I think maybe I wasn't meant to find, and I just wanted to check you're OK. If you're genuinely fine, you don't need to hide them from me! And if perhaps you're not OK, let me know if you ever need to talk?"
Make it clear you're only asking out of concern. I hope he is OK, it's odd that he's hiding them, as if he's either embarrassed, or thinks he'd be judged.

I think OP meant this.

I agree. It’s an odd way to approach a thread, that’s for sure.

I personally don’t think it’s that much chocolate, assuming it’s his only/main treat as part of an otherwise healthy diet. Also, the average man will need more calories than the average woman, so the chocolate will be a smaller % of the calories he requires.

Exactly, can you imagine someone doing that to a woman

Yeah. A 'family' bar of chocolate three times a week seems pretty normal. If you divided it down it would only about one normal bar and a half a day? Most kids and teens eat that.

Hardly a 'binge'. To call it that seems very OTT and unhelpful.

Also I don't see how she knows exactly how many he eats a week, how quickly and for how many weeks it's been happening.

To just never throws away any wrappers is slightly bizarre.

😂😂

If you want to help then you need to be very gentle but just ask straight out: “Is everything ok with you darling? I found a load of chocolate wrappers on Tuesday which isn’t like you - are you unhappy or stressed about stuff?”

OMFG 🤣🤣🤣🤣

This thread is hilarious, someone eats 3 bars of chocolate a week and needs therapy? Really? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Nothing screams disordered eating like describing the “odd croissant or a few squares of dark chocolate” as unhealthy.

Are you sure that you’re not so obsessed with your “healthy” diet that you’re projecting onto your husband and the man has just been enjoying chocolate in private because of your potential reaction?

And of course there’s the suggestions that he needs to start taking weight loss medication (despite no mention by OP of what his weight is).

Because everyone knows that the solution to someone enjoying a few chocolate bars a week is heavy duty, prescription medication, that people need to take long term, and that has a range of potential side effects.

Mumsnet is batshit sometimes 😂

EXACTLY! I don’t even eat chocolate becauseI don’t like sweet food but I can easily see that other people want to and it’s just none of my business!

Also I don’t understand how this even came about, he ate some chocolate then OP trawled through the bin and saw he’d eaten it? Like who goes through the bin like that? That’s creepy in itself!

Even if she did go through the rubbish and find wrappers how would she know he’d eaten the chocolate all at once and also … WHO CARES??? 🤣 My DH eats all sorts but that’s his business!

This thread is weird AF

It’s crazy isn’t it! He’s a grown man who can eat whatever he wants to 🤣

Also I’ve got a friend who is on those type of weight control injections and they are so expensive and it’s for life really!

He’s only eaten some chocolate (outside of the couple of squares allowed on the diet plan mentioned by OP 🙄) he’s not got a stash of crack cocaine hidden in the shed ffs!

I might join the chocolate police, sounds like a right laugh rifling through bins for evidence of organised choc eating 🥳

Yes, this.
Crazy.

. A 'family' bar of chocolate three times a week seems pretty normal. If you divided it down it would only about one normal bar and a half a day? Most kids and teens eat that.

If many people consider this normal, no wonder we have an obesity crisis and the rate of type 2 diabetes is spinning out of control…

Most commercial chocolate consists of 55-60% sugar!

I feel like this thread really shows that there are two tribes when it comes to eating chocolate.

There’s a ‘two squares of dark chocolate, only eaten very occasionally as a treat’ tribe, and there’s a ‘eating a few bars of chocolate throughout the week, when I feel like it’ tribe. And some people in the first group really can’t comprehend the second group!

I don't think the crazy lady is coming back.

It could be emotional eating, but also, chocolate is really addictive!

I've had phases in my life where I've eaten chocolate daily and been stuck with the habit for a while. But when I've had a break from it for some reason that craving goes pretty quickly.

Yeah, I guess her one and only first posting has tired her out (coupled with low blood sugar)

😂😆

She posted several times and it could have been a name change.

Chocolate is addictive. It’s not a question of whether his behaviour is troubling. He may not want to do it. In fact, I’m sure half the people on this thread probably eat things they’d rather not, but do.

I mean you’ve got to be supportive without being judgmental, it’s a tightrope. And given your language about “confronting” him, and some of the other things you’ve said, I’m not sure you’re capable of doing that.

Are there healthy snacks you can buy that would make it easier for him to eat healthily?