To think think this is now becoming disrespectful?

[JustSamantha]

so I wrote a post a while ago about my daughter who is 19.
She was not helping round the house or doing anything and also being disrespectful
she has since got an apprentiship that She started this week which is a Positive thing but She is still being disrespectful.
The other week She messaged from her room saying she got her exam Results but She had Failed and That she was so upset and doesnt know what to do. Now with me being half asleep I replied saying "well yoU Skipped Countless lessons so it is not a supprise' as the background is that she didn't try at college she kept skipping lessons not revising or studying at home ect so it was already a sore topic as it is
She then came to me when I was still half asleep and said "I passed really " so I told her i dont beleive she did as I was confused as she just told me she failed plus she has previously lied about passing things before when she didn't
Anyway she fell out with me saying I wasn't showing I was proud she passed so I said sorry I didn't show as much joy as I maybe should have but she told me she failed at first and my brain was still processing that. I hate these pranks it causes confusion to me but at least I apologised and recognised I should have taken the joke but I was half asleep as it was very early. Anyway she won't accept my apology and is giving the silent treatment saying' dad was right about you " I see right through you now" " you will never change"
Her dad degraded me a lot in front of the kids and to them.He told them a Lot of bad things about me that was not true so I am already the bad guy so any tiny mistake I make she will hold a grudge for months and I genuinely have to beg for forgiveness. It takes months to get her to be ok with me over minor things, I ask her to tidy-up after herself she says oh the other kids don't have to even though they are just kids she's 19 so then she will message her dad telling him I treat her differently so I no longer ask her to do anything in the house. She won't even wash her own plate, she today wanted to rub salt in the wounds by saying her and her dad have lunch together on her breaks at her apprentiship. Making digs like oh ill be giving my dad 600 pound of my wages to my dad to save and manage for me as he looks out for me
I asked her dad to have her living with him but he ignored me email, I asked her to move in with her dad she ignores me, am I being unreasonable to think she's taking things too far and I'm not in the wrong to be upset?

All benefits for her stopped in June as that’s when she finished’ I don’t get child benefits till September as you’re not entitled to it as soon as they start an apprenticeship as it’s paid. So that stopped. She had £150 in her account and she kicked off asking her to help a little
she hasn’t green in college for3 months her education ended
and you say ‘all you’ve done to her’
what did I do? ONE THING!!! I did ONE THING wrong

Does it matter what she says to your ex? There is food in the house / she can pick something up herself. You don’t need to run around after her. Maybe call out you are making lunch if she wants some and that’s it. Get on with your day.

You also don’t need to continue to apologise. Apologise once and then give her time. It isn’t manipulative to not accept an apology straight away.

You can’t change her behaviour but you can change yours. You are in an unhealthy pattern of behaviour with fault on both sides. Work on how you react / don’t react.

Yes, that was in direct response to OP saying "you guys expect blood"
Seems a perfectly reasonable thing to say, not sure why it elicited such a response from you.

OP - kindly . Step away from this thread now and spend time with your younger children. You’ve rejected all advice and insights so it’s clearly not helping you and causing more angst.

For what it’s worth you maybe need RL support for your previous trauma and to move forward.