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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover

664 replies

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Backtoreality1 · 22/08/2025 11:53

Looks amazing - well done! The only thing I would do is to polish the floor tiles, but otherwise you have done a brilliant job :)

Seasonofthesticks · 22/08/2025 11:54

It looks lovely! And I love the original floor tiles. I think embrace the character and age of the house rather than modernise, which you can totally do on your own (bathroom suite update excepted)

AInightingale · 22/08/2025 11:54

Kitchen looks great. Your DH and his family sound miserable - he won't lift a finger to help improve his own house and his father sounds like an expert but won't help out his DIL with a few DIY jobs? Wtf.

I'd be inclined to invite your FIL round and say, I'd really appreciate your help or advice for fixing these doors properly as your lazy man-child of a son has zero interest!

jamnpancakes · 22/08/2025 11:55

I think it looks a lot better!

BeepBoopBop · 22/08/2025 11:55

You have done an amazing job! The kitchen looks lovely & the quarry tiles are a great find. You should be very proud of yourself x

Sdpbody · 22/08/2025 11:55

It looks so different!!

Get on YT and you’ll be able to find ways to make the doors straighter. It’s not as hard as you think.

Frozensun · 22/08/2025 11:55

I do like it - very much. Sooo much better. The floor, though original, does take the focus from the kitchen itself and becomes the focus. Maybe a decent kitchen rug to break up the expanse of red? And can you ask FIL directly for his help?

BirthdeighParteigh · 22/08/2025 11:55

Looks great! Agree that a blind would help finish the space - I’d go for a soft linen. You could even make a simple Roman blind yourself - have a look at the relaxed styles without rods, they’re very achievable to diy.

665theneighborofthebeast · 22/08/2025 11:56

The work you've done is fabulous. Really! I've done this sort of thing a few times and its bloody hard work.
Straightening the kitchen cabinet doors is a doddle. So don't be put off by that and there are several ways to restore your beautiful quarry tiles. Both chemical and mechanical.

I think though that you have lacked confidence in what you are doing and have been quite "safe" you have got to this point and are comparing it to a new kitchen..that is not the point, now you have given it better bones you can give it a bit of personality. The kind of thing people are frightened of in "new kitchens" that plop off the drawing board without an oz of personality.

Who is Malahala? Thats what you need to add. Buy a rug that lifts your heart..not a brown one.
do you want a windowsill full of herbs growing in bright ceramic pots?
A collection of framed postcards if thats all the space you have for art.?

user765378 · 22/08/2025 11:56

It looks fab. My best guess is that your DH feels inadequate at work like this because his dad is good at it, so has decided that he will never do it. I imagine it’s annoying him that you can do it too. His problem.

BeaLola · 22/08/2025 11:56

If you get on ok with FIL then next time he is over /around I would ask him if he could show you how to rehang one of the doors and explain that you've researched on YouTube but not got the hang of it (no pun meant)

Also can you borrow drill from FIL or a friend who has right equipment ? I have leant my DH stuff to neighbours and vice versa

MsCactus · 22/08/2025 11:57

It looks great! How did you do it if you don't mind me asking? Our kitchen currently looks like your "before" and we can't afford to replace it for a while

ZenNudist · 22/08/2025 11:57

The floor needs fixing so maybe that's what's driving the negative comments. It looks better but until you sort the floor it sort of looked better originally. It's good the cupboards aren't hanging offany more.

justasking111 · 22/08/2025 11:57

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:44

I would love a new blind. The issue is I would need to drill the fixings in and I don’t have the correct drill for that. A “no drill” blind would work but they are about £140 for that size of window and I’m not sure that’s the best place to spend that money.

I’ve spent days trying to re-hang and straighten the cabinets myself using YouTube but they’re so old I can’t do it. My FIL would definitely be able to do it as he’s hung doors for us before but of course DH doesn’t want to ask him and I actually think a handyman would charge quite a bit as it will be time consuming.

New lighting would be great but would, again, need FIL’s help to fit them.

You don't need you husband's permission to speak to your father in law. Let him do it. Suck up any criticism which could be constructive and thank him profusely. Our DILs phone my husband for DIY assistance as do neighbours. Secretly he's chuffed.

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:58

BigSondsPieceBox · 22/08/2025 11:33

Fabulous!

How did you get on with the tile paint? If you'd recommend whatever brand you used, could you share the name?

My elderly pink harvest tiles need to go!

I used Rust-oleum bathroom tile paint and love it! This review helped me decide to try it -

OP posts:
Tandora · 22/08/2025 11:58

You've done a fantastic job!! Looks a million times nicer. No idea what's wrong with your DH/ MIL/ friend.

Eddielizzard · 22/08/2025 11:59

Can you ask FIL yourself? Do you have that kind of relationship? I bet he'd be a great asset and with luck, teach you a load of DIY.

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 22/08/2025 11:59

@Malahala you have done a good job and remember rome was not built in a day!! if dh doesnt want to learn diy the so be it, he can get some part time work at night to earn pennies for the major work. does he not know any mates in the trades who can give you a wee bit help? I have learned o do anything and everything, apart from dealing with water, gas and some electric jobs even underfloor heating. perfect tiling 4 bathrooms, laminate flooring, papering painting, washing machine repairs. teach yourself as you go. x pretty sure your fil would help you if you just asked!!!

justasking111 · 22/08/2025 12:00

Cleaning up quarry tiles. Go to builders merchants I can't recall the name of the stuff. You'll probably need mask, goggles, gloves, doors and windows open.

EnterFunnyNameHere · 22/08/2025 12:00

I think it looks fab OP - you should be really proud.

I think you also need to:

A) have a really direct conversation with your DH that you both agreed to but this house, you can't afford to get everything professionally done and its childish of him to be effectively sulking about it forever. He's a grown up, he needs to get past this and move on. Feel free to point out that you weren't a mardy arse to him the whole time when you lived in a house you didn't love.

B) reach out to FIL yourself and say you're trying your best to make the house nicer but would really appreciate his help with XYZ.

That said, what you've said about your DH messing you around re previous houses and number of children doesn't sound good... are you basically happy in your relationship/life? Is this the tip of a bigger iceberg?

MrCottersJauntyCap · 22/08/2025 12:00

I would ask for whatever help you can. Ignore your Dh's opinion. He has to get over the fact that you cannot afford to have the kitchen of your dreams right now. The makeover you have done is incredible, classic Shaker.

Youtube is a brilliant resource and if you can't get the doors to hang right from instructions there then ask FIL or whoever else may be able to lend to hand.

You do need a talk with your DH about sucking the joy out of everything.

Jackrabbit22 · 22/08/2025 12:00

Amazing job! I would be inviting everyone I know round to admire my kitchen if I'd done that. Agree with most posters that a blind would be the finishing touch if you could manage it somehow. Would FIL be able to help you with that? He should have passed on some DIY skills to his son! I'm not impressed with your critical husband - how dare he?! He has done nothing to help. I'm cross just typing this!

Mewling · 22/08/2025 12:01

The kitchen looks fantastic. Your DH is the real problem, he sounds enormously entitled and obviously used to getting his own way. I think the kitchen is a mask for what’s really going on here.

Charlottejbt · 22/08/2025 12:01

As a former private tenant who has made do with some really awful badly fitted broken down MDF kitchens, I have to say that your "before" looks totally fine! That's not to deny that you've done a great job sprucing it up though. Well done!

MarilynSays · 22/08/2025 12:01

the worktops look so good! I am Jealous! @gamerchick hit the nail on the head. Your DH needs to step up or shut up! Enjoy your lovely kitchen xxx